Beauty and the Beast: Edvy 100 Themes
by Moonlit Water Sunny River
Summary: Enemies, nothing more, nothing less, but neither Ed nor Envy are known for being particularly honest with themselves. Sometimes about Ed, sometimes about Envy, sometimes about both of them, sometimes about them kissing. 100 Themes of Edvy, because we didn't have any yet. Now complete.
1. Opposing Forces

**So I thought it was about time Edvy got a 100 Themes. There's not many of us, it's true, but goddammit, it's not fair, I wanted inspiration **

**So I made them up.**

**Double dog dare all of you to do them too. (Lookin' at you, YukinoKara, LineaArlis, Tigerwulf XD)**

**Opposing Forces**

Light versus night, might versus right (or so the Elric boy claimed, and Envy never corrected him that it was _might makes right)_, sun versus moon (Envy hated how pale he was, it was just another thing that made him different), brother versus brother (because the other homunculi were his family, there was no running away from that rather inconvenient and annoying fact) and creator versus creation. (Of course, _Edward _hadn't created him. But the man who had created Edward had created the man who created Envy. And so it went.)

Hate versus love. (Envy couldn't fathom how one could give so many damns about someone other than himself. For all the times Edward had put himself in mortal danger for his brother, it hardly seemed worth it.)

The sky versus the ground (Edward reaching up forever, always for the unattainable shining prize, always straining even as his wings melted away and his feathers were lost on the breeze –

-and Envy burying himself, deeper and deeper and deeper down so that no one could see the shame of his ugliness, his jealousy, the sin that he was cursed to be.)

Beauty and the Beast. (for all that Envy tried to be vain and to make himself beautiful with that paleness and mysteriousness, and to show off the body he'd crafted, the beast was always there, squeezed into a suit of skin that didn't quite suit.)

Fullmetal and the Monster. North and south poles on the magnet, jerked together by forces beyond their understanding (Envy had shied away the first time Ed had touched him tenderly, terrified of being exorcised, terrified that a bolt of lightning would appear when he finally gave into the electricity.)

Opposing forces. Without them there is no movement. Without them there is no attraction. Without them, there is no change.


	2. Hate

**I didn't feel like emo-ness. SUE ME. This is manga/Brohood-verse, by the way, but I'll be going back and forth between the two 'verses. **

**276 words, humour**

2. Hate

"I hate you."

"Say it again."

"I hate you."

Envy smiled sardonically. "You almost sound like you mean it this time."

"_I hate you._"

"Again, with feeling."

Ed turned away from the sin, striding across the length of the room and away from the open window. "Why haven't you tried to kill me yet?"

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you," he chirped, kicking his legs back and forth and letting his heels collide with the plaster wall below the windowsill.

"I _really _hate you."

"Hate you too, O'Chibi-chan." Envy spread his arms wide. "I hate you _thiiiiis _much."

"Why?"

"Because you're a bratty, opinionated loser who doesn't know when to give up, and you're the son of an equally opinionated loser, except he gives up _too _easily."

Ed raised an eyebrow at his strange visitor. "Nothing about trying to stop your evil world-domination plans, then?"

"Oh! Right! Those! Yeah, I guess that too."

"…You're kind of insane."

"Oh gee. How nice of you, Fullmetal." Envy cocked his head, tendrils of hair falling farther down one shoulder. "How about you? Why do you hate me?"

"Because you're, uh, PSYCHOTIC?"

Envy cackled, throwing his head back. "That's true, that's true! Psychotic, I like it! I like it a lot! Well, thanks for that, chibi-o-mine. Been a good visit. See ya next time!" He flipped himself over the window-sill and into the darkness below.

"Uh, yeah, okay." Ed paused. "Hold on a sec." He ran to the window and yelled out. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN, NEXT TIME, YOU DERANGED PALM TREE?"

He could hear the homunculus's crowing laughter fading into the distance.


	3. The Dawn

**First-anime-verse, because I like Envy's backstory there. This one took me FOREVER to come up with, and it's pretty weak as far as the theme goes. I like the story itself, though :X**

3. The Dawn

"Ha-ha! You think you can run from me, shrimp?" Fullmetal had made the mistake of running down a dead-end – and Envy knew this particular town like the back of his hand.

Ed growled, clapping his hands together – but before he could touch them to anything, Envy had his wrists pinned to the wall.

"Now, now, none of that, my naughty little alchemist."

"DON'T CALL ME LITTLE, YOU SCREWED-UP PSYCHOPLANT!" Ed struggled and kicked, but to no avail. "Fuck, how the hell can you be that strong when you're the size of a twig?"

"Practice, darling. Now, how do you want to die – quickly, slowly, or extra slowly?" Envy grinned. "See, I'm being nice. I'm giving you a choice."

Ed scowled. "Stop calling me weird names, it's creepy as fuck."

"You don't know how creepy, beansprout."

Envy expected another short rant. What he got were a pair of lips firmly wedged over his own in an amateurish and slightly misaimed, though unexpectedly passionate, kiss.

He let his eyes slide closed as he sank into the kiss, coaxing the younger boy's mouth open with his tongue. _Oh gods above…_

- and suddenly he was hanging in mid-air as Ed wrenched himself from the sin's slackened grip and darted down the alley.

"I KNEW YOU WERE A CREEP!" yelled the alchemist, before sealing off the alley with a wall and ceiling of stone.

Envy sank to the ground, too stunned to continue the chase as realization dawned. "You've made a fool of me, alchemist," he whispered, unable to muster his usual harshness. "You've made a damn fool out of me, and you're gonna regret it."

He never quite saw Fullmetal the same after that. It was, in fact, the dawn of a whole new stage of his obsession.


	4. What Do You Want?

**You may have noticed the image cover :D I totes don't own it, it's a screenshot from Brotherhood in Lab 5 when Ed and Envy are being all like GRAW NO SEXUAL TENSION HERE**

**Set pre-Brotherhood.**

**4. What Do You Want?**

"What do you want?"

Envy stopped, looking discreetly around. There was nobody else in the empty train yard, unless there was somebody else lurking in the shadows.

Somebody other than _him, _that is.

The blond alchemist stood in the middle of the light, head slightly bowed and hands in the pocket of his coat. The armour-freak was nowhere to be seen, which was unusual.

"What do you want?" Edward said again, voice strained.

There was no doubt about it. The blond was talking to him.

Envy considered moving from his hiding spot between the carriages, but decided against it. _Maybe the kid's having a psychotic episode…? I mean, he's a fourteen-year-old soldier._

"I know you're there. You've been following me since the main road. I don't know who you are, but please leave me alone."

Okay, now his curiosity was piqued. Envy moved slightly to get a better view of the young boy, and against his better judgment, spoke his mind. "You're out past your bedtime."

Ed laughed bitterly, raising his head to look at the sky. "I suppose I am, at that. What time is it, midnight?"

"Something like that. You should go home."

The alchemist's blond bangs fell backwards, revealing an ashen, tear-stained cheek. "Can't. I burned it down." He rubbed at his eyes with his over-long sleeve. "Stupid…"

Envy kept himself carefully hidden. "Why'd you burn it down?"

"Oh, lots of reasons. To hide my mistakes, and so I wouldn't…wouldn't have anywhere to go back to."

Envy snorted. "Well, that's stupid."

"I didn't ask you! Now, just…go away and leave me alone!"

"It's a public place, kid, you can't –"

"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!" Ed's face was bright with anger, still staring straight ahead with a strange blank look.

Something was wrong with Edward Elric.

"Okay, okay, I'm going." Envy stood as still as he could, holding his breath and balancing his feet carefully on the link between the stopped train-cars.

One thing he had to appreciate was the teenager's resolve. He heard only a few sniffs as Ed climbed down onto the tracks and curled into a ball across them.

_The fuck is he doing?_

Envy leant slightly over, frowning as he tried to make sense of the alchemist's actions. The sounds of light breathing drifted up towards him, and he sat down, cocking his head in confusion.

"You're a strange one, chibi. Sleeping on the tracks can't be good for your spine, and you really don't want to damage that if you want to get any taller." Envy chortled to himself, but kept his voice low. "Besides, the train's coming in the morning, and it might hit you. And you're just a silly old human, that would kill you – FUCK!" The last word was roared at three times the volume of everything else as Envy leapt down onto the tracks next to the resting blond.

Ed's gold eyes snapped open, staring up at him. "Who the _fuck _are you?"

"Up," commanded Envy. When Ed showed no sign of following orders, Envy leant down and grabbed his hood, yanking him to his feet.

Ed pushed him away, but the homunculus didn't relinquish his grip, marching the teenager to the side of the tracks and ignoring the sputtered curses and names flung at him. He slammed the boy against the concrete with slightly more force than necessary.

"What the _hell_ do you _think_ you're _doing, _Fullmetal?"

"It's none of your f-fucking business!"

Envy rolled his eyes. He'd forgotten what brats teenagers could be. "First off." He stuck up a white finger and jabbed it into Ed's chest. "If you _want _to kill yourself, there are far easier ways than getting cut into pieces by a train. Second." He lifted a second finger and jabbed him again. "It's my _job_ to make sure you stay in one piece. As far as who I am, then, let's just say I'm your motherfucking guardian angel."

"Don't talk shit about my mum," said Ed weakly.

"I'll talk shit about whoever I want. Now go home."

"No."

Envy raised an eyebrow. "No? Did the words 'guardian angel' not mean a thing to you?"

"I'm tired."

"Then sleep! In a bed, not on a rail!"

Ed shook his head. "I'm tired of _everything. _I don't want to wake up."

Envy groaned. _I did not sign up to be some kid's psychologist. Oh well, I'll do this the easy way. _"I told you," he growled, "go to sleep." With that, he slammed his fist into the side of the fourteen-year-old's head, and Edward went out like a light, slumping forward and falling into Envy's chest.

"Ugh. If there's one thing I hate more than kids, it's sleeping kids." Leaning down, Envy hefted the unconscious boy over his shoulder. He'd hit him hard enough that Ed probably wouldn't remember a thing in the morning – which was for the better anyway.

He had the sense of mind to take a different form before climbing the ledges of the barracks, rapping on the window that he knew belonged to the Elric brothers. A moment later, he was faced with two glowing white eyes.

"What do you want?" came the echoing voice, sending an involuntary shiver up Envy's spine. He pointed to his burden, and with a gasp, Al opened the window.

"Brother!" He took Edward from him, handling him like a china doll in his empty, gauntleted hands. "He just went out for a walk –"

Envy was gone before Al could say anything more.


	5. Broken Glass

**I know you're theeere guys…can has reviews? Please?**

**I quite like this one. Stream-of-consciousness is probably the easiest to write, especially for a psycho like Envy.**

5. Broken Glass

The shattered mirror and pieces of broken glass, they're laughing at me, reflecting back faces too much like mine – no matter how much I shift, they keep up with me, laughing with bared and pointed teeth –

I'm going insane. It's the only explanation. The laughter keeps welling up in me like a never-ending spring, bursting from my mouth in a foul, never-ending flood.

The tears on my face burn like acid.

I can't stop laughing.

I raise my hand and notice the blood trickling down, even as the cuts from breaking the mirror heal up in sparks of red lightning and I want to beg myself, _please, leave some pain, it's the only thing keeping me grounded –_

- because I've lost myself before and it's an empty nothing of insanity, where I sink into nothing but Envy.

What started it? That's a very good question?

I laugh and laugh and cry and weep, clutching and clawing at my face. Something so simple, so _wretchedly _simple –

A _cat_. A goddamned _cat_ on the street, and that armoured freak leaning over it and caressing it like it's the next coming of _Jehovah, _and his voice, so plaintive and so lost and so fucking whiny and pathetic…

"Please, brother?"

"You know we can't, Al."

"But…it's all alone."

A fucking cat and a walking talking suit of armour, nothing more than an automaton, really, and they still both have more humanity, more empathy, more sympathy, more everything than me.

God, I'm pathetic.

I'm pathetic I'm so fucking useless and pathetic. Some excuse for a homunculus I am.

PATHETIC PATHETIC PATHETIC PATHETIC

It's a neverending scream, raised from what's usually nothing more than an insidious whisper in the back of the cavern that's my empty and echoing mind.

Behind me, there's movement, and the sluggishness of my senses in the maelstrom means that I can't even manage to turn around before their blade 'sniks' neatly between my ribs. I stare blankly at the blade protruding from my chest. It's silvery steel, with a shape I recognize.

"Fullmetal." The physical agony cuts through the dizziness of my breakdown like a knife, and I shed my life like a skin in a dazzle of red. It's the center I needed. Sometimes I've just lived too long.

He pulls out the blade and I hear his footsteps walking away.

He didn't stay to finish me off?

He didn't stay to fight?

Somewhere, deep in my still-healing, still-spinning brain, I wonder if he understands that in taking one life, he saved mine.


	6. Eyes

**Freakin' love Pride!Ed. He's so much fun to play with.**

**If you haven't already, check out my Edvy AU, The Seven Names of Envy Angevin. It's my magnum opus, and a rewrite of a much earlier work – I'll be posting the sixteenth chapter soon, and it's nowhere near done.**

6. Eyes

Pride's eyes were blank and empty, and it made Envy want to scream.

"This isn't what I wanted," he muttered. "This…isn't what I wanted."

The blond cocked his head wordlessly, expression blank.

"You're just a…a fake."

As if in acknowledgment of Envy's harsh words, the newest of the homunculi bent his head forward, sun-coloured locks falling over his face and over his bare shoulders. He was beautiful, achingly beautiful, with a delicacy that his original form had lacked. He was thinner than Fullmetal had been, thinner and paler with the red tattoos like scars instead of the unsightly ridges from automail surgery.

It should have been perfect.

He should have been perfect.

"Look at me," commanded Envy, standing in front of his protégé with arms pressed tightly by his sides.

Pride did so, but the fire was still not there. Envy leant down. Blank, blank as the canvas of an uninspired artist.

He'd never known that gold could be so…dull.

Falling to one knee, Envy placed a hand on the back of Pride's head, then pushed their foreheads together. His eyes stung, and he closed them, opening them again after only a moment.

Pride's eyes were still as dumb and blank as ever.

Really, he didn't know why he'd thought it would work. Pride was never going to be Edward Elric, the same way Envy was never going to be William von Hohenheim.

Those gold eyes, they were the eyes of one already dead.


	7. Alchemy

**Kat Shadow: Aw, thank you! I love them so much – just a peek at my profile will tell you how madly I ship them _. As for Pride!Ed/Envy, I may be writing more – I don't know. I have the themes already written out (I don't just make up the themes themselves as I go, that would be cheating) but I can see a few where Pride would work well.**

7. Alchemy

It was like alchemy when they moved together, the salt and heat of their bodies and the pale moonlight that illuminated their trysts like the glow of a circle under his fingertips. The white of the homunculus's skin was like chalk –

-_calcium carbonate –_

_ - _and the markings and lines that crossed his shoulders and legs, they were ley lines and runes in blood-stain pigment. Sometimes when he let his fingers trace idle patterns onto the blank, unstained canvas of the sin's back, he'd recognize the runes he was etching in feathery touches. Simple transmutations – water to steam, dust into stone, sand into glass. Changes of state, but not matter.

When they arched their backs, it almost made a perfect circle, the electricity from their desperate longing sending a charge along their enmeshed bodies – together and separate all at once, conjoined at the hips, their mouths and sometimes their hands, but the rest of them was kept apart.

And in the moments just after, when he buried his face in the tangled nest of hair splayed across the pillow, he could smell faint hints of things that didn't belong. Ammonia. Mercury. Sulphur. They were acidic, stinging smells, bitter and sharp, but they were part of the man that he loved, a reminder that he was a creature born of chemicals.

_NH__3__ – trihydrogen nitride, azane._

_ Hg – quicksilver, hydrargyrum._

_ S – brimstone._

It was like alchemy when they moved together, alchemy and chemistry and electricity, all the things that made sense in the logical world and mind of Edward Elric. When he took everything about them, their relationship and reduced it to its most basic elements, it was so much easier to understand.

He analyzed the way he loved Envy in clinical, scientific terms, because it didn't make sense any other way.


	8. Changing

**This one was fun. There's so many elements of change, and I didn't even fit in all the ideas I wanted to.**

**Come one guys, review, I know you're reading XD I can see the traffic! Reviews are my bread and butter, and make me write faster~ (Is that actually humanly possible? Let's find out!)**

**8. Changing**

"Will you show me how you shift?"

Envy backs away. "No. I told you. I'm not doing this anymore."

Ed reaches out, takes his hand. "I just want to see you change. Call it a professional interest, if that makes you more comfortable."

"We're enemies! We! Are! Enemies!" he shrieks.

"I thought we left that behind long ago."

"You're changing me. You changed me. Stop it." Envy keeps jerking away from Ed's touch, but Ed doesn't stop, taking Envy's hand, his arm, his shoulder, his waist, anywhere.

"Can you be anything? Are you limited to people, animals, living things?"

"Stop being interested. Stop it." His voice breaks into a deepness, a growl – a man's voice for a change.

"We were lovers, Envy, that's not going to change."

"Yeah? We are _enemies, _and all I've ever wanted is your death."

Ed finally recoils, changing direction, the hurt plastered on his face.

"Some things don't change, Fullmetal."

"But –"

Envy swivelled around, driving his arm into his lover's chest. With a sick look, Ed looked down at the blade that disappeared into his body.

"I…thought…you'd…changed…"

"So did I," whispered Envy, ignoring the coppery taste of regret where he'd bitten his tongue. "So did I."


	9. Tension

**Thiiiis got long.**

**There is EdWin in this, so sorry to anybody who doesn't like them :P Also, there's like…no actual EdxEnvy in this at all. I just wanted to do something kinda scary.**

**I am super updater today. I don't know why.**

**9. Tension**

It was midday over the Rizenbul market, the high sun scorching the milling crowds below with the ferocity of Mustang's flames. Merchants hawked their goods, craftsmen and tinkers bantered and bartered their wares, and children in loose and baggy summer clothes ran in circles around the legs of the sweaty, sunburnt shoppers.

Among the children was a redheaded, freckled boy, hardly more than six or seven. He was slightly chubby, and would have been handsome in a young, undeveloped way if he'd had a kinder expression on his face.

He didn't like it here. It was noisy, and smelly, and hot – but the shorty was here, and he didn't plan to let his revenge slip away because of a little _discomfort._

But holy _shit, _it was hot.

Suddenly, through the milling crowds, there was a glint of gold. The chubby boy froze, struggling with his urge to grin and the fight-or-flight response that ignited inside him.

_He was here._

Edward was taller than the last time he'd seen him – hell, he might be taller than his true form now – which, Envy reflected, was not a comforting thought. He had a glow about him as well, an air of happiness and peace that he'd never been able to reach while a dog of the military –

And Envy suppressed a snort of derision when the cause of the blond's happiness came into view, holding his hand. Winry Rockbell-Elric was heavily pregnant, her free hand resting on her swollen stomach.

_Figures, figures. Fullmetal the Family Man. _Bloody glee rose in Envy's chest, anticipation making his heartbeat quicken a little. _Maybe I can kill her and her brat while he watches, _then _kill him. How's that for revenge?_

The alchemist and his wife were getting closer, and a few of the kids rushed up to them. "Missus Elric, Missus Elric, when's the baby coming?"

Winry laughed, a tinkling, bubbly sound that made Envy cringe, then guided the tiny hands to her belly. "Pretty soon, I think. Can you feel him kicking?"

The children concentrated, squinting hard as if their stares would induce a reaction, and then yelped almost as one entity. "I felt it! I felt it!" squealed one little girl.

Envy was so busy watching the scenario that he forgot that he was one of the children. However, he began to sense a prickling feeling, realizing that he was being watched.

He looked up – and made eye contact with Edward, gold eyes focused intently on _him. _There was a wariness about his face now, a slight suspicion but not enough to be overt.

* * *

The boy wasn't quite right – his eyes too old for his face, the curve of his mouth a little too angular.

Edward watched him, a chill running slowly up his spine. He _knew _every child in Rizenbul. It was a small town – a _miniscule _town.

So why didn't he know this one? Was he new in town – no, nobody had moved here. Was he an orphan, an underaged railway tramp? A visitor from another town?

That must be it. Yet, that didn't feel right either. What out-of-town visitor would let their young boy run wild like this – even a boy with this self-assured sense about him?

The child turned his head, wriggling with the sensation of being watched, and met Ed's eyes with a look of defiance that sent a chord of irrational fear through his bones.

* * *

There was something about the alchemist's sharp gaze that was making him more uncomfortable than he should be.

Envy wasn't used to being afraid.

But that golden stare – it got underneath his skin. He couldn't help but feel like it could see through his layers of disguises, past the chubby ginger to the moon-skinned androgyne, to the slavering green monster, to the small, helpless worm at his core.

The tattoo on his thigh burned against his sweat-slicked skin, and Envy couldn't help but believe that it was glowing, broadcasting its existence and its position and his nature to his enemy.

His _enemy._

He thought as loudly as he could. If Edward could hear him, he wasn't going to hear his snivelling and pointless paranoia.

_I am going to hunt you down, and I am going to kill your wife in front of you. And I am going to kill you, Edward Elric. Mark. My. Words._

* * *

Edward had never felt such killing intent from a young child before. It unnerved him. Completely and utterly unnerved him.

He must be wrong. He must be reading it from someone else.

But who, when he was locked into the gaze of the green-eyed monster –

-_child. _

He'd called a child, an innocent boy, a monster.

Yet it felt so absurdly correct that Edward had to wonder if his own sanity was slipping.

* * *

_I will make your death utterly and completely painful._

* * *

It was impossible, the thought that was niggling away at him.

* * *

_I'll watch and I'll laugh as the fire in your eyes finally dies._

* * *

He couldn't quite shape it, couldn't quite name it.

* * *

_Edward Elric, I will twist you and maim you until you beg for mercy._

* * *

But it was there, the unbelievable suspicion, the unfair accusation.

* * *

_And I'm not going to give it to you._

* * *

"Honey, we'd better get going. I'm starting to flag."

The string snapped abruptly, and colour and focus rushed back into Ed's vision. "Huh? What?"

Winry laughed. "Zoning out there? Come on, let's go."

There had been something important. Something important had been just about to occur to him… "That boy…" he began.

"Which one, Ed?"

He turned to point him out, but the redheaded terror was gone.


	10. Petrichor

**CRAZY UPDATING BECAUSE I'M BORED/INSPIRED**

**Decided to do a poem because poetry is my god :3 If you like my poetry, check out Shadows of Memories (for Envy fans) or Faithfully (if you like EdWin in small doses), both on my profile. SHAMELESS PLUGGING WOO I will say, I'm kind of insanely proud of this one…I may do a companion poem from Envy's point of view for one of the themes. And poetry is just FUN.**

**Sakura117: Thank you very much! I've sworn on my father's grave (which is particularly weird since he's not dead) that I will get to all 100 of these. You should give the themes a go! **

**Also, it's Chapter 10! Which of these ten themes has been your favourite? Review with the answer :D :D :D (Yes, I just want reviews.)**

10. Petrichor (the smell of rain on dry ground)

You came in the night

A slinking and sleek shadow without a name.

You came in the night

searching for relief

a release from your inheritance of shame

You smelt of blood –

iron and copper and somebody else's death.

You smelt of blood and tears and sweat.

For all your threats –

you're nothing but an empty shell

looking for somebody to fill you up

like throwing rocks down the old well.

For all your bluster –

all it takes is a brush,

for skin and skin to touch

to make you flustered.

The first time you kissed me,

it was raining.

We were worn out and weary

Patterned with bruises

From endless battles and wars neither of us will win.

The first time I kissed you

It was storming

Somewhere

And suddenly you looked old.

You're less than

And more than.

You're brighter than

And darker than.

(I wish you didn't hide from)

Everybody else.

I never expected

(though I knew it was a game)

To wake up one morning

To nothing but the smell of the dry ground after rain.


	11. Setting You Free

**First-anime-verse. I don't like this one so much, Ed's a little OOC.**

11. Setting you free

"You _promised,_" hissed the teenager. "You promised you wouldn't…wouldn't go back to them!"

"I have to," replied Envy. He was strangely calm in the face of Ed's rage. "They're my family."

"But…" Ed's hands tightened. "But so am I!"

It was the death knell.

Envy's blood, which had run so warm from the alchemist's unfamiliar tenderness the last few months, went cold at the reminder. He walked slowly to the door, refusing to turn and look at the boy he'd shared a bed with – refusing to remind himself that the boy was his half-brother – refusing to even wonder how Ed had found out.

"I'm not abandoning you. I'm setting you free."

No matter how he struggled, he couldn't dislodge the shard of bone from the center of his back. It was in that one place he couldn't reach, and the bone locked his abilities – so distorting any of his limbs was impossible.

Envy risked stretching his neck a little to look over the edge of the tall building, then retreated immediately. "Stupid – stupid – stupid –"

He'd just been lucky Mustang had decided to deal with him later. _Leaving me here to stew instead. _He tried again to pull his wrists apart, but right now he only had the strength of a mortal man, and the rope was too tightly wound.

Suddenly, he heard footsteps. "What, is the great and mighty Colonel back already?" he drawled, trying to sound as nonchalant and unbothered as he could. It was entirely possible that Mustang didn't fully understand what the remains of William von Hohenheim did to him.

"Envy, it's me." The voice was soft, almost heartbroken and lost in the winds of the high-rise.

"Edward?" Envy wriggled and turned his head until the alchemist came into view, crimson coat blowing out behind him. "Edward!" God, he really didn't want to do this, but he didn't have a choice. "I'm kind of in a fix. Wanna give me a hand?" He waggled his fingers behind his back in demonstration.

Edward walked over, his face solemn and troubled, and then knelt in front of Envy. He laid his outstretched palms on the sin's barely-covered chest, the contrast of warm, slightly pulsating flesh and cold, rigid steel making Envy jump. Ed wasn't wearing his gloves today.

"It was that dumb Ponyboy," growled Envy. "I'll show _him _once I get out of this. Come on, untie me already."

Ed began to push slightly, and Envy struggled to stay sitting upright. "Careful there, we're something like fifty floors up." He cocked his head. "What's the matter with you, pipsqueak? You look like your dog just died."

Ed didn't laugh or react. He kept pushing, and the homunculus was suddenly very aware of the empty space right behind him. "Ed! Stop it!"

"No."

"What are you doing?"

The Fullmetal Alchemist gave Envy one final shove, sending him skittering off the edge of the building and plummeting through the air.

"Setting you free."


	12. Colours

**Wee, fun-ness with words :D**

**I actually have a bunch of these written out, I'm just trying to pace myself with posting. If you lot review, I'll just post them all! How's that for incentive?**

12. Colours

When Ed remembers Envy, he remembers the green of his hair – bracken-green, bush-green, jealous and spiteful and sick green, grass and leaves – the dark and the fresh.

When Ed remembers Envy, he remembers the white of his skin – ivory-white, delicate china white, moonbeam and starlight and nightriver white. Corpse white and bone white. Mystic and murderous.

When Ed remembers Envy, he remembers the black of his garments – midnight-black, dried-blood, dark velvet and bat-wings and grave earth.

When Ed remembers Envy, he remembers the violet of his eyes – ever-shifting, ever-changing, ever-glinting with purple lightning and sunsets.

He doesn't know why.

He lies back on the grass (green) and stares up at the dusky sky (purple). There's still a few clouds (white) dotting the sky, wispy and wistful. His shirt (black) is drenched with sweat – it gets very hot in Rizenbul in the summer and he's been lying under the sun for a long time, remembering. His coat (red) is tossed to the side.

"I wish I'd known you better."

When Ed remembers Envy, he remembers the red of his Philosopher's Stone – blood, rage and passion, but also roses, wine and Ishbalan eyes – but he refuses to remember how Envy was the one who destroyed it.

"I wish I'd known you."


	13. Warmth

**Set just before Conqueror of Shamballa.**

**Yayasuki: Chapter 7: I had SUCH a ball with this one, I'm glad you like it. Ed is such a dork (and so am I :D)**

** Chapter 10: Yaaay mindblowing! Unless it's literal in which case oh noes mindblowing.**

** Chapter 11: Tough love indeed. But I doubt there's ever really any other kind with Ed and Envy :/ And thank you very much! I have no plans to give up on them any time soon, I've got ideas galore. Just keep checking back – and the themes themselves are on my profile, so you should give them a try!**

13. Warmth

The castle was freezing, but Envy didn't feel it. There was a benefit to having scales after all – who knew?

But it wouldn't have made a difference anyway. The reason he'd worn such skimpy clothing in his favoured form was that he didn't feel the cold – or the heat, or the rain.

With an internal sigh, he coiled himself tighter, trying to figure out what to do with his time. He couldn't exactly go hunting Hohenheim in this form, could he? He'd expected to be able to _shift _when he got here at least!

The door creaked open, an unexpected sound that shot through the heavy, oppressive silence of the castle like a gunshot. Envy started, tail scraping against the cobblestones, then growled, "Who dares enter my castle?"

Hey, if the locals were dumb enough to be superstitious, he might as well play on it.

However, the voice that answered belonged to the least superstitious person Envy knew. "Save it for the sheep. This is as much your castle as it is mine, asshole."

If his limited vocal cords had been capable of it, Envy would have groaned. If he hadn't been a dragon, he would have been much angrier, but there was something about being trapped in a horrifying ugly and useless form that made simple things like revenge much less appealing. "You…aren't dead?" he said slowly, forcing each word from his animal throat.

Edward snorted as he strode into view. Brown didn't suit him at all, was Envy's first thought. It didn't have the ridiculous vibrancy that Ed thrived on. "No, unless this place is hell." He stopped. "Well, well. Let me guess – you can't shift?"

"…Fuck you."

A smile tugged on the corner of Ed's mouth. "I've never been cussed by a dragon before. Man, you're an ugly piece of shit right now."

Envy bared his teeth in a clear warning. _Nobody _called him ugly! "I could eat you."

"But you won't."

"Why?"

Ed raised his prosthetic arm, an ugly, misshapen thing that had absolutely none of the automail's grace. "Indigestion."

Envy snorted, laying his head down on the stone floor. Talking was becoming easier, he noticed – it appeared to be a matter of practice. "I can always spit it out."

The blond took a few steps forward. "You know, this is the closest I'm ever going to get to a dragon."

"Because they don't exist. Fuckhead."

Ed ignored him, laying his flesh hand on Envy's snout. "You're the only one."

Envy had a witty rejoinder in mind, but it fled as a strange feeling crawled up through his scaly skin, winding through his alien body. It was coming, he realized, from the hand laid so innocuously on his muzzle.

_Warmth._


	14. Trapped

**This…this is probably the closest to an IC Envy I've ever gotten. Ever. That's kind of sad. :P**

**This is an AU version of Episode 25 of Brotherhood – one where Ling *doesn't* get sucked in to Gluttony's stomach.**

**Cometflare: Don't worry, I will! And thank you, I quite like it too, even if it is cliche. (Honestly though...not all of them are going to be cute :P)**

14. Trapped

"We're trapped."

Envy's words were the death-blow to the optimism that had kept Ed walking through the crimson ocean. Slowly, he sank to the patch of dry ground that emerged from the flood, clutching the gauntlet that had been brought over with him to the Not-Gate like a talisman against the darkness.

"J-just us? What about Ling?" he asked weakly. He eyed Envy warily, his expression a clear warning for the other man (if he could be called that) to keep his distance.

The homunculus shrugged, adjusting himself on the post where he was seated. "I guess he dodged."

Ed chuckled weakly. "Freakin' ninja." There was sweat dripping from his forehead. "So. Eternity here, with a crossdressing homunculus." He brought a hand to his head and dragged it slowly and wearily over his face. "What did I do to deserve this?"

Envy snorted. "Oh, _you're _complaining? A week, two weeks tops, and ya get the relief of dying. I _don't._" What he didn't say was that he'd feared this since Gluttony's birth.

Ed didn't respond, and the enemies suddenly left without a reason to fight sat in silence for some time, the emptiness of the endless cavern yawning out suddenly without words to fill it.

"So…completely trapped?"

"Yeah, I've already _said _that." Envy rolled his eyes, folding his legs over each other and managing to keep his precarious balance. He really didn't want to have his feet stewing in that blood – he liked it when it came out of people, but blood itself didn't have all that much appeal for him. Besides, how long had it been here? Gross.

"No way out. At all."

Envy rolled his eyes, then leant purposefully forward. "_Yes._" He nearly fell, but caught himself just in time.

Edward sighed, then looked up with a wry smile. "You can come sit here if you want, before you fall into that gunk."

Envy made a 'pff' sound. "I'm not gonna fall –" Just as he said it, he felt himself slipping – just before he hit the surface of the blood ocean, instinct kicked in, and he winged over to the patch of dry land before transforming back from the raven form.

He glared at the guffawing alchemist. "Stop laughing at me."

Ed ignored him, clutching his belly as he cackled.

"I said, stop laughing at me!" Envy felt his face twist into something ugly. He couldn't stand being mocked. He couldn't fucking _stand _it.

He strode over, reached down and grabbed Ed's collar, hoisting the teen into the air and giving him a shake that made his teeth rattle. "Nobody fucking laughs at me, you fucking _got _it, pipsqueak?"

Ed's response was to grasp Envy's shoulder and bring their lips together in a slightly misaimed, tense and awkward kiss.

Envy dropped him.

"_What."_

Ed jumped to his feet with what seemed to be steam issuing from his ears. "D-Don't call me short!"

"Hardly one of yer more inspired ones, but that's not the point. What. The. _Hell?_" Belatedly, Envy realized he should really wipe his mouth, and did so with the back of his hand.

"You said so yourself," Ed muttered dejectedly. "We're trapped. There's no way out, none at all. I've already failed Al, and Winry, and everyone else who was waiting for me to come back." His tightly clenched fists loosened by his sides as he bent his head in shame. "So…there's no reason for me to…lie to myself…anymore…"

Again came the interminable silence, but then Envy burst out incredulously, "With _me?_"

A laugh ripped itself involuntarily from Ed's throat, and he immediately stifled it, the tears springing to his eyes coming from a different source now.

Envy crossed his thin arms over his chest. "Oy. Beansprout. I already told ya about the laughing."

"Sorry, sorry…I just wasn't expecting that." Ed composed himself, then looked up with Envy. "I thought you'd call me a faggot or something."

He rolled her eyes. "I thought you were supposed to be the smart one, Fullmetal. I wear a fucking miniskirt, the hell do you think?" He sat down on the ground, crossing his legs. "Except you'd kinda figured that out, hadn't you?"

Ed remained standing, scratching his flesh arm absentmindedly. "What do you mean?"

"Would you have kissed Ponyboy Colonel if he'd been the one in here with you?"

He pulled a face. "Not fucking likely."

"What about whatisname from Xing that nearly did get stuck in here?"

Ed's face suddenly turned an excellent tone of pink. "Uh – ah – er – that's – um – m-maybe?"

Envy thought for a moment, then shrugged. "Okay, yes, I'll give you that one, he's pretty."

"You're pretty."

Envy stared incredulously at Ed, whose hands flew to cover his mouth. "That," Envy enunciatedly carefully, "was pathetic. You, in fact, are pathetic – which I suppose is a given for any human. But –"

He reached out and gave both of Ed's ankles a swift jerk, sending the alchemist toppling to the ground. In a graceful motion as lithe as his sinewy body, he was on top of the smaller boy, green hair hanging down and curling on the ground around Ed's face.

"- since you're curious, I'm bored and I can't think of anything better to do…" He brought his face close enough to Ed's that he could feel the blond's hot and nervous breath on his cheek, and his thumping heartbeat. "…I guess we can have some _fun._" Envy said the last word in the deepest, most seductive tone he had in his arsenal, rewarded with the most adorable expression he'd ever seen on the face below him.

"If you're psyching me, Envy, I swear I will whoop your ass into next Sunday."

Envy laughed. "You wish." He grabbed a fistful of Ed's downy golden hair and closed the gap between them.


	15. Rebellion

**I like Envy in this one – he's chirpy :D First-series-verse, obviously.**

**Cometflare: I'm the person who came back to Seven Reasons to Stay Alive two years after abandoning it and decided to rewrite xer story because xe PROMISED to finish it. Don't worry! I'll make it to a hundred! I have something like 30 already written, and the ideas/basic sketches for 50-60 or so. I'd also watch that AU, mostly because Ed and Envy don't get any one-on-one time in Brotherhood. That made me sad, especially with how EPIC their last battle in ep 50 of the first series was. It was KICK ASS. Then shtoopid Ling got all up in everything.**

15. Rebellion

"Where are you going?" asked Colonel Mustang from his desk, but Ed just shrugged.

"Out."

"Out?"

"When is it any of your business where I go?"

Roy arched a charcoal eyebrow. "I'm your commanding officer. It's my job."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Ed snorted, pushing open the door and walking away.

* * *

"Where are you going?" asked Dante from her doorway, but Envy just lifted his shoulders in lieu of a proper answer.

"Out."

"Out?"

"Out."

Dante crossed her arms, neckline of her dress shifting slightly to reveal where the rot had begun to eat at her flesh. "Envy, I demand that you let me know where you're going."

"Why?"

"Because as your master – and your mother – I have the right to know."

Envy grinned toothily as she played the 'mummy' card, then cheerfully lifted his middle finger. "Fuck you, bitch."

* * *

Ed didn't like this part of the city, but at least it was quiet. Nobody – not even squatters – risked staying in these buildings, they were so rickety and unsafe. To even take a step into their doorway was to flirt with death itself.

He snorted as he marched into one of them and up the stairs. It wasn't like he wasn't doing that already.

"Hello, Envy."

The homunculus lounged on the mattress he'd purloined from somewhere-or-other, tossing a pebble from one hand to the other. "Hello yourself, I thought you'd never get here." He chucked the pebble at Ed, who caught it in his automail hand without flinching. "Now get over here so I can fuck you senseless."

"We _have _to stop meeting like this –" he said, even as he obeyed, shedding his coat without a second thought.

"Why, so we can say 'yes sir no sir' all the time?" Envy chuckled throatily. "Come on, darling, what's the harm in a bit of rebellion?"

Ed cracked a smile. "I suppose it doesn't hurt."

"And it feels good?"

"It feels good."

"So," whispered Envy, drawing Ed down into his embrace, "let's be rebels."


	16. Running

**Blah, this one's short. This is actually one of a pair - the next one is Bare Feet, and a sequel/companion to this one.**

**Cometflare: If you like SNEA so much, why don't you review? _ Lurrrrkerrr... XD I'm glad to hear you like Rebellion, it's one of the many that's given me an idea for a multi-chapter story. I won't be doing any multichaps until either this or SNEA are done.**

16. Running

_He was coming._

The branches scratched at his cheeks with their long fingernails, leaving deep gashes, but he barely noticed. All it did was spur him to move even faster.

"Where are you, Edo~" The voice echoed mockingly off of the twisted trunks of the forest, rattling the loose bolts in his automail and sending a chill up his spine.

It was cold. He felt like he was running through mud, even though the rational part of his mind was still trying to tell him that he was moving at an incredible speed. Adrenaline did incredible things to an overtaxed body.

Keep running.

Keep moving.

"You know you can't get away, _chibi-chan!_" There! A rustling in the bushes – a brush that might have been a fluttering footstep – did that plant move?

Edward kept running.


	17. Bare Feet

**Companion to 16: Running.**

**These two were themes where I took the prompt really, really literally. Other ones I take a metaphoric sense. It's nice to get a mix.**

**I won't be posting it just yet (I have a nice backlog kept up) but the next one is one of my favourites in this collection so far :D**

17. Bare Feet

The thrill of the hunt was one of the few things that made Envy feel alive. With a malicious glitter in his indigo eyes, he drew the flat end of his blade across his tongue, drawing a sliver of blood which he swallowed hungrily.

"Where are you, Edo~" he called out to the forest, jumping from branch to branch. He landed with no more weight than a feather each time, bare feet bracing against each limb and pushing up to take him to the next one.

The pipsqueak was here somewhere – fleeing his pursuit – fleeing from _him._

Through the dark green and grey of the night-shadowed foliage, he caught a glimpse of bright yellow. "You know you can't get away, chibi-chan!"

There he was – panicked, glancing this way and that. His pant leg was torn off, the dull shine of metal another beacon of brightness in the dark forest. Envy's sharp eyes zeroed in on a loose bolt at his knee, and he grinned, seeing an opportunity.

Leaping to the ground with only the rustle of a leaves and a soft 'thump' as witness, he picked up a pebble and ran alongside for a moment, still unseen in his dark camouflage. With a lazy toss that still held the full strength of any grown man, he threw it at the bolt, snapping off the head.

With a loud grind of metal-on-metal, the leg collapsed, and Edward fell to his hands and knees with a harsh, guttural cry.

Envy walked over and placed one bare foot on Ed's back, then pushed down, flattening him in the mud.

"_I win._"


	18. Blades

**In which Ed is buried hilt deep in our favourite homunculus.**

**The collection isn't rated M yet. (Yet.)**

**This was supposed to be a lot less silly…but they're so much fun when they're being silly. And I'll be honest, once things started getting weird, I started cracking up.**

18. Blades

"Goddammit, don't you ever stay still?"

"If I did, then you'd _stab _me." Envy ducked Ed's swing with an almost bored expression, planting his hands on the ground and kicking the blond's legs out from under him. "I don't _like _being stabbed," he explained, bringing his legs back underneath him and jumping to avoid another thrust by the now-quite-irate Fullmetal Alchemist. "It hurts," added the homunculus quite needlessly.

"Yeah, well, when I get stabbed it fuckin' kills me, ever think about that?" Ed scrambled to his feet, his automail blade immediately up in his defense as he tensed.

Envy spun lazily to behind Ed's back, then grabbed the hood of the flamel-emblazoned jacket. With a shit-eating grin plastered on his thin and pointed face, he flipped the wearer over his shoulder and slammed him into the floor with a gleeful laugh.

"Ha-ha!" He quickly jumped on top of Ed, straddling him and pinning his hips to the floor. "I got you, I got you! And weren't _you _easy to throw?"

With a sickening 'squelch' that would have made grown men sick to their stomachs, Ed thrust his blade through Envy's chest, pushing until his metal-jointed fist made contact with the bleeding skin.

"You calling me a piece of drain lint, you attention-seeking loser?"

Envy stared down at the blade and the sparks that were even now fizzing around it, then looked back up at Ed with a scowl. He tried to cross his arms, then, unable to find a way around the blade, settled for perching his hands indignantly on his hips.

"I'd _won, _damn you. That's not _fair._"

Ed stuck out his tongue by way of reply.

Envy sighed. "I suppose it's a win for you, then. I don't _like _this new way of fighting, it's no fuuun…"

"Yeah, but it means I don't _die._ And no one's forcing you to go along with it, you know."

Envy grinned toothily. "But if I don't, you'll stab me more."

"That's true."

"Speaking of which, can you pull out now?" Envy tapped the automail, dislodging a few drops of blood. "I can't heal properly _or _leave with this in me – unless I break it off you, which I'm too lazy to do right now."

Ed pulled back his arm, trying to control the flush of embarrassed crimson that came from mishearing Envy's rather…ambiguous statement.

Envy gave a blissful sigh that could have been taken many ways as the blade slid loose of his flesh. "Ah, that's much better. Well then," He sprang to his feet, healing sparks sealing up the sizable hole that was dripping blood all over the carpet. "Until next time…Hagane no Chibi. And next time…" his eyes glittered in a strange mix of menace and promise, "I won't go so easy on you."

He walked away with an arrogant ease that made Ed want to get up and punch him again, if his back hadn't hurt quite so much from the full-body slam.

With a groan, Ed let his head fall back onto the floor, and stared back up at the ceiling. With any luck, Al wouldn't be home until –

"BROTHER!" The clatter of dropping groceries signalled the end of Ed's luck. He turned his head to the side, grinning crookedly at the armoured figure.

"Hey, Al."

"What…what have you been DOING?"

Ed lifted his head again and looked around – then burst into laughter. He'd forgotten just how much blood came from an otherwise mortal chest wound, and paired with his ever-tightening trousers…

"Brother, are you alright?" Al fell to his knees by Ed with a clang, concern lacing through his echoing voice. "Seriously, what happened?"

Ed managed to control his laughter. "I'd tell you, Al," he said with a last chuckle, giving the solid chest-plate a light punch, "but I'm not quite sure myself."


	19. The Passing of Time

**This got away from me so badly. And that's all I have to say about that.**

19. The Passing of Time

_ Envy first met Ed when he was a brash fifteen-year-old full of heart and determination, ready to reach his goal no matter how many asses he had to kick to get there._

_ Envy first talked to Ed when he was a little older, a little wiser, trapped in an endless cavern that stank of blood and decay and death._

_ Envy first fell for Ed when he fed him one of the last Philosopher's Stones, salvaged from the cannibalistic soldiers that had so ravaged Central Command, allowing him to take the form that gave him some control, some strength, some power of his own destiny instead of being trapped as no more than an insect._

* * *

"Why did you stop Mustang from killing me?" he'd asked.

"Because I didn't want to see him lose himself. And," added the blond, squatting down to where Envy lay, still digesting the Stone with the slow metabolism of a starving man, "because I wanted you to find yourself."

He'd laughed at that. "The fuck does that mean? Sounds like a self-help book."

"It means," he said carefully, "that I'm giving you a chance to have all the things you want, that you're envious of."

"How?"

"You're a shapeshifter. You can blend in anywhere. And now, you don't have anyone to obey. You're free."

And then he'd left.

* * *

_Envy first visited Ed five years after the Promised Day, dressed like a normal person and looking (almost) normal. The blond had been surprised to see him, but they'd chatted and caught up over tea like normal people. And – shocker, shocker, shocker – Ed was married, with a kid (and another on the way!) like a normal person!_

* * *

"Who is this, Ed?" asked Winry with a guarded cheerfulness that made Envy wonder how many strange visitors he entertained to make his wife this suspicious.

"Oh, this is…Envy," Ed said nervously.

"Envy?" Winry's blue eyes turned on him with shock, her hand tightening on the hand of the small boy next to her.

He decided to take it as a question, and so he'd said in a light tone, blue floral teacup in hand, "Oh, I tried to kill him numerous times a few years ago. I also planned the horrible death of everybody in the country. That's all behind me now, though."

The muffled whimper from Winry, the immediate transition of her hands to the little boy's ears and Ed's vicious glare gave Envy a hint that maybe he'd said something wrong.

With a sheepish chuckle, he took another sip of tea, holding the cup there long enough for his mortified look to subside.

* * *

_Envy first kissed Ed a week after that, just before he climbed aboard the train that would eventually take him back to the town of Torsten where he'd found a little place for himself in the world._

* * *

"So you've figured out the basic points of living?" asked Ed as they waited for the train.

"Yeah, for the most part." Envy scratched the back of his neck. "Still don't understand girls, though."

"Don't hold your breath, that part never comes. No homicides?"

"None…that mattered."

"Envy!" he scolded, and Envy held up his hands in defense.

"Hey, hey, the fucker had a death wish anyway."

Ed rolled his eyes. "Homicide – not a thing normal people do."

It wasn't anything the blond had said, or anything particular that made Envy act at that moment. Maybe it was the way the sun had set his hair and face alight. Or maybe he'd just done it because he could.

Envy took a step closer to Ed, placed a hand on the back of his head and kissed him softly, exerting every bit of his willpower not to devour him the way he wanted to.

After a moment, he stepped back. "I'm…guessing normal people don't do that either," he said quietly.

"No, it's not that…" There was a blush lit in Ed's cheeks, but his eyes held the unspoken apology. "I'm a married man, Envy. That means something, something really important. I'm not going to be my father – I love Winry with everything I have. And –" he gave Envy's hand a squeeze. Envy started. He hadn't even realized that Ed was holding it. When had that happened – when they were kissing? "I think there's…just a little too much history."

Envy nodded, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. "Okay, I get it. Let's, uh, let's keep in touch, though."

"Course! Who else is going to remind you not to dismember the guy ahead of you in the checkout line?"

"Nyah. Gimme some credit."

"I am." Ed grinned, trying to dispel the awkwardness.

The train pulled in.

And then he'd left.

* * *

_Envy first tortured himself over Ed when he got back to Torsten, curling up in a cocoon of sheets and feeling like the small, worthless, powerful creature he really was beneath all the disguises._

* * *

**Of course he'd never feel that way.**

** Of course.**

** You're just a monster – you aren't even human. You're a construct born of a construct, a child of the Gate. You're a murderer, a psychopath, a freak without a heart or a soul.**

** Of course he'd push you away.**

** Of course.**

** You sick fuck. Falling for him.**

** Of course it would be _him _of all people you fall for.**

** Of course.**

* * *

_Envy first called Ed almost a year later, when he'd managed to get past the worst of the backlash. He hadn't realized how much he'd piled upon the younger man's head like a crown, hadn't realized how much he'd come to depend on Ed's approval. So he hadn't kept in touch like he'd promised. But now, he figured, it was safe._

* * *

The voice over the phone was surprisingly haggard. Even Envy could hear that, under the façade of cheerfulness.

_"Oh, hey, Envy! I hadn't heard from you in so long I thought maybe you'd died on me after all."_

Envy chuckled, mostly at how badly the joke had failed. "You know I'm hard to kill."

_"Yeah, sure, rub it in. So how's life over in Torsten?"_

"It's…life. I'm working in a butcher's now. Lots of blood and gore, lots of chopping, minimal homicide."

_"The fact that you said minimal is what worries me."_

"Oh come on! I haven't killed anyone really badly in ages."

"_…really badly? How do you even quantify levels of deadness?"_

"By how recognizable their corpse is."

_"Envy, you're all kinds of special._"

"Why, thank you! Now, what about you? Last time I saw you two Winry was the size of a house."

_"Sarah!"_

"Who what?"

Ed's voice flooded with fatherly pride. "_Her name's Sarah and she is just so bloody gorgeous and wonderful I can't believe it."_

"Hey, don't go making the big one jealous."

_"Maes? Naw, Maes absolutely dotes on her. They're inseparable, just like me and Al were back in the day._" Before we got married. It hung there, unsaid but for how obvious it was, it might as well have been.

"You plan on getting them into alchemy then?"

_"Oh, I don't know about that._" There was a sly slant to Ed's voice that told Envy that he meant to do exactly that. _"Bit young yet. Maes is only three, you know."_

"Can I be their uncle Envy?" He'd thought it was obvious he was joking, but Ed's silence sent a spear of sadness through his heartless chest.

_"I, uh, I wouldn't mind, but, uh…Winry's not too keen on the idea of you yet."_

"Oh. I see. You told her the truth."

_"No, you did! Then I had to explain your part in everything, and…yeah. To…to be honest, I don't really blame her…"_

Envy's heart sank into his boots as he pulled the phone away from his ear and let it click into the receiver.

* * *

_Envy first got a visit from Ed five years later. He'd gotten a phone call every year on the anniversary of the Promised Day like clockwork (it was, he supposed, a twisted sort of birthday) but the visit was a surprise._

* * *

"Why, if it isn't my favourite anorexic palm-tree."

Envy looked up – and proceeded to accidentally chop off his fingers with the meat cleaver. "OW! Fuck!" The fingers crumbled to dust and he quickly hid his hand under the counter while it regenerated. "What are you doing here?"

Ed growled playfully. "Visiting you, duh. What does it look like?"

"I thought your wife hated me. And would it have KILLED you," said the sin through gritted teeth as his fingers grew back, "to call ahead?"

"Jeez, you sound like Winry."

"Oh, wonderful." Envy rolled his eyes, then checked his fingers. "Alright, I'm all back to normal. So what possessed you to come all the way out here? Not that it's not good to see you."

"Eh, I felt like a trip, and the kids are old enough now that Winry doesn't need me around 24/7."

"You got a hotel room?"

Ed shrugged. "I was gonna find one once I got here."

Envy winced. "Yeah, good luck with that. You can stay with me – it's small, but then again, so are you."

"Oy! That was underhanded! And –" Ed strode over the counter and crossed his arms. "Also, _clearly untrue._"

Envy looked up, then flicked an eyebrow upwards. "Huh. Never would have expected it. Did you start drinking your milk?"

"Never, damn you, never! I grew without the help of that vile substance – so fucking _there._"

_Envy first made love to Ed that night._

"I love Winry," he whispered. "That hasn't changed. But…I…she doesn't…" Words faltered in his throat.

Envy smiled. "She's not an old soldier like us."

"Even if we were on different sides, you – she never _fought. _She didn't see what I did."

Ed looked up from his glass of wine, then leant in towards Envy. "It's funny…even Al…even Al doesn't get it sometimes. I don't know why. But you…you're too much like me. It…it scares me. But it…it makes me happy too."

He kissed Envy, rough lips catching on the sin's softer ones. It started off light and feathery, but soon it became more – much more. Their wine glasses toppled onto the floor, forgotten.

It was different, so much different than Envy could ever have imagined. When he'd first realized how much he wanted Edward Elric, the blond had been fifteen, short, feisty, young, impressionable – but now Ed was twenty-eight years old and Envy was the young one, forever eighteen. He'd never imagined the roughness of Ed's stubbly cheeks, or that Ed would be the one to pin him down with his big, callused hands.

That didn't mean he enjoyed it any less.

* * *

_Envy first had his heart broken by Ed – really, truly broken, not just bruised or rejected – roughly ten hours later._

* * *

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be home soon. I love you too. Yeah, tell the kids I'll be back tomorrow evening." Ed ran his hands through his loose hair, apparently unaware that what he was saying was tearing Envy apart.

The voice on the other end on the phone would have been unintelligible to regular human hearing, but Envy heard every word.

_"I can't believe you're gallivanting around with a supposedly-reformed psychopath instead of being at home with your children!...Come home…Come home, Ed, please. It was bad enough when you were a teenager and never home, but you're my husband now, how about you act like it?"_

Ed hung up after a few minutes and turned to Envy, a tired smile on his face. "Sorry, En, I've gotta go. Turns out five and seven isn't quite old enough to leave Mummy all alone."

Envy laughed, realizing even as he did so how hollow it sounded. "That's…alright. I'm glad you came."

"Keep doing your thing, alright? I'm glad things are working out for you."

_Except they're not. The only thing I've ever truly, honestly, desired is walking away again._

Ed stood with his hand on the doorknob, then turned back again. "Listen…Envy…about last night, I'm sorry –"

Envy pinned Ed to the door, silencing him with a deep and passionate kiss. Ed responded – in fact, he responded so ardently that Envy thought for a moment he might not leave –

-then, in what seemed close to panic, he broke away, wrenched open the door and disappeared.

Envy left Torsten that night, jumping on the back of a train that was just leaving and leaving behind everything he'd worked on in the eleven years since the Promised Day.

He wasn't a 'normal person'.

He wasn't even human.

He never would be.

* * *

_Envy next saw Ed nine years later, when his travels brought him to Rizenbul purely by chance. He hadn't meant to come anywhere near the town again, but it had changed since he'd last been there, changed enough that he hadn't recognized it until it was too late._

* * *

"Woah, dude, I like, love your hair."

"What?" Envy turned around – and forgot to breathe.

It couldn't be Ed. His eyes were blue, for one, and he was too skinny – and dear lord, Ed would _never _wear a shirt that proudly declared the wearer to be 'Awesome Beyond Belief'…actually, no, he would. Chances were, he'd bought it for the sixteen-year-old currently standing in front of him.

"You're Maes, aren't you?" asked Envy, still unsure.

The sixteen-year-old blinked, then grinned. "Yeah, that's me, Maes Elric. I bet you know my dad, huh?"

_Shit. _"Uh, yeah. We…knew each other back in the day, yeah."

"Back in the day meaning saving Amestris from danger?"

"Something like that."

Much to his horror, Maes turned on his heel and yelled through cupped hands, "Hey, Pops! Found another of your old war-buddies!"

Even worse was the reply. "Agh, who is it now? If it's the freaking Fuhrer here to lord it over me again…" Ed stopped dead at the sight of Envy, then – sending a shiver that was half-delight, half-misery down the homunculus's spine – he broke into an ear-to-ear grin.

"I haven't seen _you _in a dick-year! What, you finally got your butt down from Torsten? Took you long enough!"

"Oh, I'm…" Envy rolled his shoulders awkwardly. "I haven't lived in Torsten for a while, actually."

"Oh, really?" There was a hint of nervousness in Ed's voice. "How come? And where are you living now?"

Envy shrugged. "I travel. I like to keep moving."

"Oh, alright. Yeah, I know the feeling. Winry got me to settle down, though." Ed threw his arms around Envy's shoulder with a lackadaisical grace, not seeming to notice how Envy stiffened under him. "Tell you what, come on up to our place for dinner tonight."

"Won't Winry –" but Ed interrupted before Envy could reveal to Maes just how much the mechanic distrusted him.

"She's out of town right now, but Sarah's a fantastic cook!" Ed practically dragged him up the hill, chattering away all the while and squeezing his arm hard enough that Envy couldn't just slip away.

* * *

_Envy first watched Ed sleep that night, curled up beside him and watching the dappled moonlight play off of the strands of silver that had started to appear in the man's hair. Even at forty years old, he was still gorgeous beyond belief, taking the sin's breath away. He'd tried to say no, tried to save himself from further heartbreak, but then he was falling, falling deeper.._

* * *

"What are you doing in Dad's bed?"

Envy turned – and suppressed a yelp as he saw the teenage boy standing in the door, almost ghostly. Maes's hair was shaggy, falling half in front of his face. He swept it back, closing his eyes for a split second and making Envy's heart hiccup for a second. Maes looked _very _much like his father.

"Um…" Envy struggled with how to explain his weakness, _Ed's _weakness –

"How can you be one of his old friends from the Promised Day? You can't be much older than me." Maes kept his voice low, conscious of his father's presence in the room. He was shirtless, wearing only a pair of pyjama pants that hung low on his adolescent hips.

"I…don't age." Envy couldn't help but wince a bit at the boy's questioning look. "Come on, let's go outside." Envy crawled out of the bed, giving Ed one last, lingering glance.

_Envy first admitted his feelings for Ed to another living person that night, twenty years after he first discovered them._

"So…you're in love with my dad?" asked Maes slowly, picking at the grass. It was completely silent out in the fields other than their voices.

Envy scowled. "Don't make it sound so fucking sappy."

"It _is. _But, what I don't understand is…" Maes's voice suddenly got very quiet. "Why would he…he cheat on Mum?"

The homunculus snorted. "Fuck if I know. It's not like I wanted this."

"Why wouldn't you?" When that question didn't merit an answer, Maes tried a different one. "I mean – he's going to…" He seemed to choke on it, but bravely continued. "If he's going to leave Mum…leave us…to be with…with you?"

Startled, Envy stared at the boy, trying to digest his words. "You think he'd ever –" He laughed, but it faded quickly as he looked up at the sky, a strange stinging at his eyes. "Maes…why do you think I'm called Envy?"

The sixteen-year-old was silent, although it seemed to satisfy him. Then – "Is that why you never came back, Uncle Envy?"

* * *

_Envy last kissed Ed as the blond woke up, whispering an apology between their lips._

* * *

"You're a fucking bastard, you know that, Ed?

"You saved me, gave me a life I could only ever have dreamed of, treated me like a sentient being and gave me…gave me _hope. _And you expected me not to fall in love with you.

"Well, guess what. Envy the homicidal maniac loves you."

Envy kissed Ed one last time, gripping his hands tightly in his own. "Maes found out. And it's tearing him apart. You have a _family, _Ed. You have Winry. So stop trying to have me, too."

He tried to walk away, but Ed refused to let go, gold eyes old and imploring.

"Don't go…" said the man who had been an alchemist almost plaintively. "I…" He swallowed. "I love you."

"Bit late for that, don't you think?"

Envy left before Ed could say anything more.

Maes was leaning by the doorway, skinny, gangly frame distinctive even against the light of the morning sun. "Sarah, Trisha and Will are still asleep, but I'll tell them you had important business and stuff. They like you, even if you have stupid hair."

He gave Maes a thwack on the shoulder. "Shut up. You're one to talk."

"…For what it's worth…I'm glad I got to see you again. Even if I found out some things I'd, well, rather not know."

Envy smiled despite himself. "You're not too bad…for being the pipsqueak's kid."

He set off down the road, a thick haze settling down over everything. It was easier to operate in this kind of mist, when he didn't have to think.

Some capricious force made him look back.

Ed stood ramrod straight on the balcony of the Rizenbul house, long hair spilling over his bare shoulders. He didn't move – not a wave, or a wink, or even a slouch – but his fists were clenched, and it might have been the trick of the eyes, but Envy thought he might have been shaking.

The haze lifted, and there was a terrible, terrible emptiness.

He didn't care who was watching this time. With a jolt of red lightning, he willed it and he became a wolf, fur thick and shaggy and jaws slavering, and began to run down the road.

* * *

_Envy last saw Ed twenty-five years later._

* * *

"Hello?"

_"Uncle Envy?" _

The green-haired teenager frowned. "Maes? Is that you?" It certainly didn't _sound _like the easy-mannered sixteen-year-old, but it had been a long time.

"_Yeah, it's me. Listen, I know when you left way back when, you said you would never come back, but…"_

Envy leant back in his chair, propping his feet up on his desk (much to the horror of the Lieutenant nearby) and adjusting the photo of Ed he kept amidst the jumble. "What's the matter, kid? Is something wrong?"

_"We…Dad…He isn't well."_

"Isn't well? What the hell does that mean? With him, that could mean anything from the common cold to the entire world falling apart at the seams."

_"Uncle Envy, he's getting old. He's turning sixty-five, and his memory's not what it used to be. He's started forgetting things, thinking he's young again…" _There was a deep sigh that echoed across the line. "_We don't know what to do. He…forgets who we are sometimes."_

"Why do you need me?"

_"You've known him almost as long as Mum, and you've been there for more of it. More of the tough bits."_

The way Maes said 'tough bits' sent a prickle up his spine. But he couldn't refuse.

"I'll be there soon."

* * *

_The last time Envy saw Ed, Ed tried to kill him._

* * *

"Where's Al?" Ed demanded in the foghorn voice that Envy recognized from the old days. "Dammit, where is he?"

The blade of the knife clutched in the old man's hand quivered, edge nicking Envy's throat. A single drop of blood escaped before the wound sealed up, flickering with light.

"Ed, you need to sleep." Winry gently took his shoulders and tried to pull him back.

"Winry, stay away from him! He's a monster – he's one of the people behind this Philosopher's Stone bullshit!"

She shook her head, then stroked his silver hair. "No, no, Envy's a friend now. The Promised Day is over. It's all over. He's a _friend _now." Slowly, she guided him back to his armchair. "Do you remember?"

Ed blinked, then stared up at her. "I can't find Al," he said in a quavering voice. "Win, I can't find him!" He buried his face in his hands and began to cry the tears of an old man.

Envy stood rooted to the spot, frozen in shock. He turned his head to look at Maes, who bit his lip.

"I should leave."

"Wait –" Maes tried to stop him.

"This was a bad idea – no, this was a _terrible idea_." Envy turned savagely on Maes. He was in his early forties now, but still as lanky and overgrown as he'd been in his teenage years. "In the past, I'm his _enemy,_" he hissed.

"But –"

"I'm a _monster, _Maes! In the past, I'm the one who was trying to kill him and his brother at every turn." Envy's stomach flipped unpleasantly at the reminder. "This is why I had to leave. I'm immortal. Falling in love is the universe's little punishment. I live forever, unless somebody remembers how to kill my kind. And I get to watch…this."

The look of desolation of Maes's face was more than Envy could stand. With a growl of frustration, Envy stormed out, crawling, climbing and flying through Central until he stood on top of the tallest building. There, he screamed.

* * *

_Envy last spoke to Ed about six months later._

* * *

The funeral was the biggest one Envy had ever been to, even in the forty-five years since he'd tried living like a human. Brigadier-General Hughes was there – Edward had been part of her life since she was very young. General Mustang and his younger brother Niels Mustang were there as well, their parents long since passed. Zheng Elric-Chang, the younger and less respectable cousin of Maes, Sarah, Trisha and Will, was there with his mother Mei Chang, and the Emperor and his bodyguard (although in disguise as they preferred).

And behind the crowds, perched in the branches of a low-hanging tree, was Envy, blending in almost seamlessly with the dark-green foliage.

Only after the service was done did he drop to the ground and walk over to the gravestone and the freshly turned earth.

"I…oh bloody hell." Envy swallowed. "I knew this day was coming. I knew no matter whether you loved me, hated me or couldn't care less, I was gonna stand here one day and have nothing left to say. But you can know about something your whole damn life and never be prepared."

He dug his toe into the ground. He was dressed in his old clothes today of all days. It seemed only fitting. No military outfits today. Not for Envy.

"You're a damn fool, Ed, for ever letting me near you. And I'm a damn fool for letting you.

"I'd trade places with you in an instant. Your kids might be grown up, but they still need you. And Winry still needs you." He shrugged. "Who the hell needs me? And…I need you."

Suddenly there were tears running down his face.

* * *

_Envy first cried over Ed on an overcast day in 1965._

* * *

The world was turning and blurring. He didn't cry. It wasn't something he _did. _But he was crying now.

And now there were arms around him, circling his shoulders and a scent surrounding him. He inhaled it – the scent of grease and machinery, and faded flowers.

Winry, hair grey and face wrinkled and tear-stained, stroked his hair. She didn't say anything – about their years of passive enmity and distrust, or the fact that she knew exactly what had happened between this man and her husband – but she didn't need to.

* * *

"What's your name?"

"Lily!" She grinned, clapping her hands.

"Lily? That's a nice name." Envy picked her up and hoisted the little girl onto his shoulders. "How about we go pick some lilies and give them to Grandma and Grandpa?"

She nodded, banging on Envy's head. He winced slightly, but otherwise ignored it.

A few moments later, she laid the flowers on the twin graves – _Edward and Winry Elric. _"There we go! Did they like flowers, Envy?"

"Yeah, they liked flowers a lot. There was one time when your grandpa made flowers to pass a test…"

The unlikely pair – the immortal and the little girl – walked down the dirt road, bare feet padding against the ground in a heartbeat rhythm. In the distance, from the balcony of the place they both called home, a lantern flickered on and off.


	20. Gravestone

**Crazy Envy! I don't write him crazy often enough. This is an AU of the ending of the first anime – one where Envy didn't go through the gate. Which of course renders Conqueror impossible, but whatevs.**

**Rikke: Oh dear, did I really make you cry? I'm so sorry (except I'm not) XD Thankee muchly for the compliment and even if you don't ship them, I've realized just how many of these really aren't all that slashy…so keep reading? :D**

20. Gravestone

"Here I am, chibi. Right here, in this lovely graveyard on this lovely hill in this lovely town on this luv-er-ly day. Not that you can see any of it."

Envy sprawled himself on the ground in front of the tombstone, leaning his head backwards stroking the letters on the stone lovingly. "I knew I'd get you under one a' these one day. It's a nice stone and all, too. It's about your height...maybe taller." Envy paused, as if to let the alchemist get a word in, then laughed. "Oh, I forgot," he said in a voice dripping with sarcasm, "you can't rant now, can ya? And you ain't growing anymore. I did it, I did it, hahahahaha, I did it!"

He laughed until he thought his skinny frame would fall apart from the shakes. "I did it…and now I ain't got nothing else to do with my fuckin' time. Immortality. What a fuckin' bust. I shoulda waited until you had kids, then I could have tracked them down too."

A scream penetrated the haze of Envy's half-trance, and he looked up. A pretty blonde wearing very little was backing away from him, shaking with her hands to her mouth.

"Wh-who are you? What are you DOING?"

Envy sat up and scratched the back of his ear. He'd developed a terrible itch there for some reason. "Hanging out."

"ON HIS GRAVE?"

"Well, yeah." He indicated the gravestone. "Man, it's like a monument to my success. Why wouldn't I hang out here?"

She let out an unearthly scream, and ran. Envy noticed that she was leaking quite disgracefully. "Humans. You're all the same. I mean," he turned and gave the gravestone a good kick, "what are ya now, a bundle of rotting flesh? I thought human transmutation would be enough to teach you lot not ta attach so much significance to a corpse."

He sat on top of the thumb-shaped marker, bracing his feet against the granite and flexing them against the inscription. "Then again, I bet she's one of the many people who decided they were in love with ya or some shit like that. Let me tell you, that cracks me up no end. Why, you're the most stubborn, ungrateful, distempered, single-minded, self-centred brat I've ever met. For some reason people call that 'confidence' and then since you're so fuckin' attractive, they're all over you." Envy perked up suddenly. "Actually, ya might have some bastards running around after all." Then, he looked down, disheartened. "Except I'm not sure if ya even knew what a girl was."

"Who are you?" asked a new voice, and for the second time that day, Envy looked up. With the setting sun behind the new figure, Envy could almost believe that it was Edward himself, back to haunt him. Then the figure stepped forward, and Envy snorted in disappointment. He had brown hair instead of gold, although it was almost as long as Ed's had been, and his eyes were a darker, less vibrant shade.

"You're Alphonse, ain't-cha? I heard rumours that you'd gotten your body back."

Al nodded. "That's me. Who are you, though?"

"I woulda thought you'd remember me."

The young boy seemed to wince at that, and Envy frowned. He seemed…too young. Closer to ten than the sixteen he should have been by now.

"I…don't remember anything from those years."

"Haha! Really? So you don't remember me?" Envy kicked his feet against the stone, gleeful at the idea of a new victim. "You don't remember the oh-so-beautiful, oh-so-deadly Envy?"

"No. Afraid not."

"Well, here's something you should know." Envy hopped up, perching precariously on top of Edward's grave. "I'm the one who killed him. It made a nice squelching sound, too. And you wouldn't believe how the girl screamed." He heightened his voice to a squeaking imitation of Rose, waving his hands around. "Ed! Ed! Oh no, Ed! God, it was sickening."

He leant forward, glaring at Al. "Why," he asked, "are you grinning like a madman?"

"Because," replied Al, "my brother's not dead."

Something broke. Something shattered inside Envy, and he thought it might have been the stone that acted as his heart.

"What are you talking about?" he said, a note of panic creeping into his voice. "I killed him myself, I watched him bleed out, I watched it all!"

"That grave's empty."

"Doesn't mean a fuckin' thing!"

Al folded his hands in front of him, guileless eyes bright with hope. Envy was seized with a desire to gouge them out. "I know he's alive. We're…We've always been like that. I know he's alive, and I'm going to find him."

"Not if I find him first," growled Envy, his sense of purpose flooding back and filling him with rage. Rage. That was an emotion he could understand. It was better than this aimless wondering what to do next. "In fact –" he said in a low, rumbling voice, "I think I'll start with you!"

He drove his bladed arm at Al, face twisting into a wild grin as the Elric boy flinched and ducked –then stopped, wicked point hovering half an inch from the boy's freckled nose. "Ah, what's the use." He stood straight, letting his arm fall to his side as it transformed back to normal. "You're your mother's son."

He turned back to the gravestone, and a lump rose in his throat. He'd spent how long at this stone, chattering amiably – fuck it, to an empty grave? He wasn't done yet.

"I'll see you in hell, Edward Elric. I'll find you, just watch me, I'll find you no matter how long it takes! It'll be me. I'll be the one to dig your grave."


	21. SizeGrowth

**I'm not sure how much I like this one – but I really wanted to do something with that moment where Ed's holding Fetus!Envy, just before Envy offs himself.**

21. Size/growth

Envy squirmed and wriggled as much as he dared in the blond boy's grasp, cursing Fullmetal's automail as loudly as he dared inside his mind. They were still speaking – the Ishvalan and the alchemist still persuading the Ponyboy Colonel not to kill him.

Really, he couldn't care less. He was being _held. _Envy hated any reminder of his true size, and the ease with which he was enclosed in Edward's hand was about as shameful as it could get. He was just a tiny little insect, soft, unprotected and _completely _at their mercy.

Envy sighed, closing his large eyes for a moment, and then opening them again, pupils sliding upwards. He'd never seen Edward from this angle before – from underneath and to the side, where he could see the square set of his chin and the protrusion of his Adam's apple. It only served to make him feel even smaller. When he was this size, even the _pipsqueak _was a giant.

A memory reappeared in his mind's eye – one of Fullmetal's infamous short rants that he'd been present for.

The kid didn't know the half of it.


	22. Scream

**So it's part of my headcanon (although it doesn't appear in everything) that Ed's a lil bit of a masochist. It explains a hell of a lot! So here we have a slightly disturbing sexy drabble.**

22. Scream

"Scream," he demanded as he slammed his fist into the stomach already oozing blood onto the floor.

"Scream," he muttered as he pulled at the nerves of the exposed automail port.

"Scream," he hissed as he tugged sharply on the honey-blond hair.

"Scream," he commanded as he bit down on the exposed neck, but all he got was a gasp.

"Scream," he murmured as he pierced the rose lips with his sharp teeth.

"Scream," he whispered as he pinned the mismatched, bare arms to the cold concrete wall.

"Scream for me."


	23. Whisper

**The last one was kind of shitty, but I hope this one makes up for it :D**

23. Whisper

"A visitor for you, homunculus."

Envy didn't bother to look up. It would be the same person as always, the thrice-damned alchemist who'd put him in here in the first place. He jangled his manacles despondently, waiting for him to arrive and start his spiel.

Here came the mismatched footsteps – one slightly louder than the other, something Envy had figured out in the fifty or so times Edward had been down to see him since his capture. Once a day, like clockwork.

"The Fullmetal Alchemist, dependable," he muttered. "He must really want something from me."

Finally, as the shadow fell across him, he looked up with a wry smile. "I don't suppose you're here to set me loose," he said conversationally.

Edward reached up to clutch the bars, looking down at him. "You know what my deal is, Envy. If you work with us, you can get out of here."

He snorted. "Why would I do that?"

"Why? Why would you want to murder thousands of innocent people? There's no way around it – we're the good guys."

"Oh, that's rich." Envy cocked his head and grinned, baring each and every one of his teeth. It would have been more impressive in another form, but the son of a bitch had figured out how to block his powers with these goddamn handcuffs. They were made of something too strong for him to break as well – and that was no mean feat. "_People. _How many times in your life have you stepped on an anthill, Fullmetal?"

The blond didn't answer, but his surprised expression was answer enough.

"When you demolish an anthill, you're murdering hundreds, thousands of ants. What we're doing is no different." His eyes glittered violet in the darkness of the cell. "Killing ants to make way for a different kind of life."

Edward fell to his knees, and suddenly they were on the same level, a disconcerting feeling for the homunculus who'd gotten very used to having to look up. "How different are we, really?"

"Worlds apart, alchemist."

"Are you sure? Look, I –" Without warning, Ed reached through the bars of the cell and grabbed Envy's hand, placing it palm-out against his own. "Look."

Envy, ready to attack despite knowing he could not, was suddenly taken aback, gaze centered on the hands that should not – could not – be meeting. Ed's fingers were slightly wider and shorter than his, warmer, redder and darker. His palm had a slightly different shape to it. But it was still the same.

Ed shifted his hand slightly, clasping Envy's cold one tightly. "What you are doesn't have to dictate who you are. You do have a choice. Work with us, Envy, please, and you can get a second chance."

"What if I don't deserve one, hm, alchemist? Considered that yet?"

"Everyone does."

Envy began to close his fingers around Ed's hand, and then ripped it away. "Give up on me, Fullmetal," he whispered, trying to ignore the note of pleading he heard in his own voice. "Stop trying to make me into something good."

Ed glared at him, eyes full of fire. "Never," he whispered back.

He left a few minutes later when it was clear that Envy was done talking, but not before loudly letting Envy (and the guards) know that he'd be back tomorrow.

Envy sighed. The alchemist was getting to be tiring – although the hands thing was new. His hand was still warm, and he held it close to his chest, working through the new sensation as he did everything else.

An ant crawled across the cell floor, and Envy raised his foot to crush it – then, changed his mind.

Edward's whispered word wove through his mind like a net, louder than any scream.


	24. Cruelty

**GBlackwell: Oh…oh wow. I don't even know what to say. I'm just thrilled that you like my story despite hating the characters together. And considering that you gave me such a wonderful review, I think you deserve a comprehensive response **

**First: My justifications for the pairing are…flimsy at best. Honestly, I like that they're completely unsuited for each other. I like writing that, even if I'm totally off the mark sometimes. They're characters who are (as I've touched on a few times) perfect foils, and I really wish there'd been more of that in the second anime (frankly, the first one too.)**

**Second: You should let FF know that XD Good to know that the cover-image idea is working. And I'll probably write one based on Beauty and the Beast itself at some point – it's one of my favourites too!**

**Third: I'm so so so glad that you like this I'm working on making Envy more psychopathic – I'm still at a stage in my writing where my characters are very heavily based on myself, and that happens even in fanfiction. It's especially a struggle since almost all Edvy fanfiction completely flanderizes him – entertaining on some levels, but really a different character.**

**Fourth: Yeah, I know :P What I've tried to stick to for this collection is just posting my first thought/first draft for things (I thought that was the rule for 100 themes…apparently not, but too late now). But thank you! It really means a lot to hear that you appreciate my writing even against my better judgment **

**Fifth: OH MY GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS *goes to TvTropes* *faints* This is…wow bejesus wow. The last thing I expected. Ever. Thank you for letting me know, this is crazy…**

**Thank you so so much for telling me what you thought! Having someone who isn't a fan of Edvy reading this is a definite incentive to be the best I can be. And I will try my hardest to keep you interested **

**Woah. A legit drabble. As in it's actually 100 words. WHAT IS THIS MADNESS.**

24. Cruelty

Ed asks Envy why he is cruel. It is a curiosity, a question that niggles at his conscience when he tries to rationalize his love for a cold-blooded killer, for someone with no remorse.

Envy throws another log on the fire. The sparks fly up, sputtering in the air like fireworks.

"Why am I cruel?" he repeats slowly. There's a bitterness around him like an aura, and Ed regrets his question. There are times when he forgets that his lover isn't human, but tonight isn't one of those times.

"No one has ever given me a reason to be kind."


	25. Equivalent Exchange

**Argh, I couldn't quite get the idea I wanted across in this one. But I couldn't figure out how else to do it :P Feel free to point out what I could have done better!**

**Oh, and Beauty and the Beast is officially a quarter finished! Woo! :D**

**25. Equivalent Exchange**

A blow for a blow, an eye for an eye.

We shouldn't be so evenly matched. He's toying with me, just like always. I should hate it.

A swing for a miss, a threat for a jibe.

There's an equivalency here, a back and forth balancing act that satisfies the scientist in me. Even if people don't think it, I'm order – even if I sleep in my clothes and kick down doors, I like an organized world, where I can keep things shelved and sorted and predictable.

A push for a shove, a jump for a leap.

Envy is different. He's the incarnation of chaos – that cackle of his when he's found me for yet another 'game', the tangled bird's nest of his hair. Even his fighting style is a blend of fifty different styles, all picked up over his long life, or so I assume. He's the one thing I've never been quite able to figure out.

Order for chaos and steel for steel.

"Tired already, pipsqueak?" he jeers, darting just out of reach.

"Not even! And at least I know how to dress!"

Back and forth, insult for insult, the way things (should) work.

Finally, it's over. Nobody wins – he just darts away into the darkness, maniacal laughter serving as a farewell and I slump onto the pavement, bruised and bleeding and breathing hard.

Equivalent exchange.


	26. Less than human

**I actually had a completely different idea for this one. Then this happened. Despite it being an EdxEnvy collection, this one became Al-centric…**

**Also, the theme isn't actually ever mentioned by name. But it does center around the idea, without actually bringing in any conflict. So yeah.**

**26. Less than human**

Al sometimes wondered if he really counted as human anymore. He didn't have a proper body, after all. He didn't have a heart, hands, flesh, a brain – all he was, was a soul.

He tried to keep off that path – it led to dark places. But his mind needed somewhere to go during the long, lonely nights, while Ed and the world slept.

But in this strange situation, holding the jar with the tiny, half-formed creature inside with a protectiveness fuelled by Envy's apparent helplessness, it came back.

"Where's your brother?" demanded the thing that had been a homunculus in its high, quavering voice.

"…Not here."

"What, he abandoned you? Haha. Thought he'd give up eventually."

"Sh-shut up!" Al considered dashing the jar against the wall and letting the homunculus freeze, but his better nature prevailed. "Ed doesn't give up. Ever. On anybody."

"I hardly think you count!" Envy rolled his large eyes, crossing all of his tiny arms. "You're a hunk of metal that can talk. Biiiig deal. Sooo special."

"I'm his _brother!"_

"Okay, okay. But he doesn't give up on anybody, hey?" Envy glared up at Al, his fuming almost visible. "What about people who never got a fucken' chance?"

Al shook his head, putting down the jar. "Don't try it on me, Envy. I know you'll say anything to get out of that jar."

"Heyy, that's not fair. I just want a chance to do the right thing, ya know?'

"I think you're far too inclined towards murder."

Envy sighed. "Jeez, whatever. Just let me know when your brother shows up, kay?"

Al made the motion to frown, forgetting a moment that it couldn't be articulated on his impassive face. "Why are you so fixated on Brother?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," he muttered, curling into a ball and saying nothing more.


	27. Numb

**This is a sequel to 'Eyes' (number 6) and features Pride!Ed from Bluebird's Illusion.**

**The First Frost: Don't waste your time travel mechanism! I'm progressing – and you can hardly claim I update slowly XD I'm glad you're enjoying these oneshots as much as I am. Thanks for reviewing!**

**D4ncingD4wn: I shouldn't enjoy making people cry so much…but I do :3 I'm glad you're enjoying these oneshots, even if you're not an Edvy fan…I seem to be getting a lot of readers who don't like or think about the pairing, that's odd. Can't think of why :P But yeah, there'll be more with other characters, since I write a LOT of Edvy. I've got plans for Roy, Winry and Lust so far. Thanks for reviewing!**

27. Numb

I don't remember anything.

It's just blank.

I'm just numb.

He stands in front of me, mouth twisted in a sneer. "For fuck's sake, say something, you useless piece of _shit!"_

I can't remember how to speak.

This has been going on since I was born – reborn – created. He'll turn to look at me, and he'll look happy for a moment.

Happy. I remember happy. (fields of green eyes of gold hair of brown)

Then his face falls, and he'll do something to punish me. Slap me. Hit me. Stab me. Rape me.

I can't feel any of it.

I don't remember who he wants me to be.

I'm just numb.


	28. Nothing but Trouble

**Sequel to 'What do you want?' because I couldn't really think of anything else.**

28. Nothing but trouble

"You, Edward Elric, are nothing but trouble," hissed Envy.

The boy didn't respond. Which was probably just as well, considering he was unconscious.

"If I have to rescue you from one more collapsing building, I'll just kill you myself, you little bastard." Envy rolled his eyes, leaping down to a balcony and leaning out over the side. The building he was referring to was now truly just a pile of rubble.

With a sigh, Envy plonked his burden down on the ground. "If Father didn't need you, you'd be dead, like, a thousand times over. You gotta fucking death wish or something?"

Envy suddenly remembered the train tracks. At least, he reflected, at least this time he was getting the kid out of situations that could be considered 'occupational hazards'. It was just pure dumb luck that he'd actually managed to avoid any in-depth questioning.

Thank God for the side-effects of repeated concussions.

Envy snorted, and then picked up his burden again, noticing a walking suit of armour on the ground, floors below. "Let's find an alley for you to wake up in."

To tell the truth, Envy didn't mind playing the hero every now and again.

Catch him admitting that to anybody though.


	29. Nuisance

**This…got….very cracky. It kind of reminds me of my 'SUGARRRRR' oneshot (which people seem to like for some reason) except different. It's also partially inspired by 'Things Envy Is Not Allowed To Do In The Military' by Sin of Tragedy. (Hasn't been updated in years but still a fun read.)**

29. Nuisance

Sometimes, Ed regretted persuading the homunculus to change sides.

It hadn't been easy, no. It had taken a _lot _of wheedling, a lot of manoeuvring, and a lot of blowjobs. Not to mention that he wasn't completely sure if Envy _had _changed sides.

It was nice having his boyfriend around more often (embarrassing questions from Al, the Colonel and others aside) and for the most part, it was a happy state of affairs. But Envy wasn't a fighter or a thinker, he was a _trickster, _and while the lessons on basic morals had gotten through, the ones on propriety, appropriateness and respect…not so much.

Ed rubbed the bridge of his nose, not trusting himself to look up. "Envy," he said in as placating a tone as possible, "remember what I said about work hours?"

"You do realize how hypocritical it is for you to be giving me this 'talk', right?" Envy propped his feet up on a desk, inspecting his nails. They were pink today, courtesy of Catalina.

Ed tried not to grind his teeth too much. "There's a difference in level here."

"Ya mean rank? I thought you said you'd never pull that on me!" Envy pulled a heartbroken face, although Ed knew from experience that it was fake.

"No. Not rank. Level. As in, the level of destruction caused."

Envy cocked his head, thinking for a moment. "Yeah, I don't get it."

"I kick down a door or two to illustrate a point. It's perfectly reasonable –" Ed talked over Envy's sniggering, "while _you _have…" Envy continued sniggering. "Shut up!"

Envy refused, shaking his head. "It's not you," he managed to get out, and then widened his eyes before making his escape out of the window.

"Hey! Get back here, you –" Ed turned, and then realized who Envy had been running from.

Colonel Mustang stood in front of him, uniform torn, tattered and scorched. A significant amount of his hair was missing. "When I get my hands on that nuisance…"

"Did he do that?"

"What?" Mustang looked down at himself. "No, this was when I tried to get rid of his, uh, decorations myself."

Ed shrugged – despite his anger, he'd always take Envy's side to Mustang's face. "Hey, you never said you _wouldn't _love, uh, what does it say?" He checked the list again. "Obscene pictures all over your office. I thought that was right up your alley."

Mustang shuddered. "Not when they're of…never mind."

In the corridor behind him, Black Hayate padded past, leaving green footprints on the carpet.


	30. Sweetness

**LustxEnvy and EdxEnvy – and, credit where credit's due, I was inspired by the hilariously awesome sexy story Infatuation Fascination by Perfumey. Don't read it if you don't like lemons, that's all it's about. XD**

30. Sweetness

Lust knows that Envy doesn't love her. She doesn't love him either. They're homunculi, not humans – they just have needs to fulfil.

And, she reflects, even if she was capable of it, she wouldn't fall in love with Envy anyway. He's dangerous, unstable, cruel even for their kind. He scares her sometimes, even if she knows that she could easily hold her own.

No, this is as far as it'll ever go. Thrusts and whispered screams whenever the ache becomes too much to bear. An extra body in her bed, or sometimes in his, to claw and bite at.

Except, she's not sure when, but something changes.

It's been a while since either of them have felt the ache (or, at least, she assumes, but she doesn't want to think about Envy with any of the others. It's not jealousy, just discomfort) and there's something different about Envy.

He's still a murderous, unbalanced walking time bomb. He wouldn't be Envy if he wasn't.

But slowly, Lust begins to notice that it takes more to set him off, less for him to calm down, and he almost seems…satisfied. Even after a night with her he always has that restlessness to him, but these days he could almost be mistaken for relaxed.

His brows begin to unfurrow, the marks of his constant anger smoothing out. His jaw isn't as set, his hands not as clenched and he begins to straighten his back when he walks. Small things, unimportant things, impossible things.

She catches up to him, calling out his name, but she doesn't know what to say. You've changed. You're happier. You're calmer. All of these things, any of these things, could send him back to his usual habits, and Lust realizes with a shock that she _likes _this new, subtly different Envy.

Envy stares at her, wondering what she is struggling with – then, he smiles. He doesn't grin. He doesn't smirk. He doesn't cackle. He just…smiles. "Never thought I'd see you struggling with your words. I'll be there in a bit."

_That isn't what I was going to tell you, _she almost says, then bites it back. Because it's true. She's not aching, but she's wanting. She _wants _this new Envy, this Envy that smiles and teases instead of smirks and bullies.

Less than an hour, Envy's on top of her, cursing as he drives into her. He smells different – not different, no, his usual scent is still there – but there's something else.

In a moment of stupidity, of hopeless sentimentality, Lust crushes her lips against his. She breaks the unspoken taboo.

And, running her tongue along the inside of his mouth, she tastes somebody else's sweetness, thick and lingering like honey.

Later, as they catch their breath, she asks him. "What's her name?"

He smiles again, with a touch of ruefulness. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."


	31. Tight Grip

**I love having a large buffer :D**

**Buffy crossover – I've only ever seen one episode, but the monsters from that episode were so fucking creepy that I wanted to use them in SOMETHING.**

**GBlackwell: I'm glad you like that one :D Apparently subtlety is one of my weaknesses, so I'm trying to work on that. I used the first anime because I thought the mother-figure thing would be really really offputting to both of them. Thanks for reviewing I'm glad you're still reading!**

**Also, if anybody's interested, I've started another multi-chapter fic, but one without pairings. It's an AU that switches the roles of the homunculi and the main characters – Envy and Wrath are the ones who attempt human transmutation, Selim and King Bradley are the automail mechanics, etc. It's called 'Hero of the People' and it's written through drabbles. Check it out if you like AUs and homunculi!**

31. Tight grip

They had a common enemy.

Ed's heart beat fast and furious in his throat as he processed this thought. He, Edward Elric, and Envy the homunculus – had a common enemy.

He opened his mouth to say as much, but only air came rushing from his throat. Of course. Their voices were gone. He kept forgetting that.

Envy looked past the edge of the bin they hid behind, and then pulled his head back. There was sweat running down his pale face, and Ed realized he'd never seen the creature scared before.

Creature. No. What they were running from – those were creatures. Limping, lolloping, misshapen beasts in the tattered remains of straitjackets, and their masters – gentlemen with twisted grins and coroner's suits and feet drifting barely off the ground – those were creatures.

Compared to them, Envy seemed almost human.

Envy hissed something, and then rolled his eyes. His voice had also been stolen, locked away somewhere. Instead, he looked at Ed, holding the gaze. Then, he reached down and grasped the blonde's automail hand, clasping it between his own.

He was saying one word over and over again, and focusing on Envy's thin lips, Ed realized what he was saying.

_Alchemy._

He shook his head. There were at least seven Gentleman, and who knew how many more of their henchmen? He couldn't get them all with anything. And with the running they'd already done that night, he didn't have the energy.

Envy frowned, but after a moment, seemed to understand. He grasped Ed's other hand, holding it in a tight grip, and then brought both hands up to rest on his collarbone.

Ed could read his lips again, although the repetition was still needed.

_Use My Stone._

He closed his hands around Envy's, relishing the tight grip and the security it gave him in this silent world.

He'd save both of them.

He'd save Al, and Winry, and the Colonel – all of them.

_Thank you, _he tried to say.

Envy understood.


	32. After You Leave

**I originally had a sad ending to this one but I removed it – I like having just the letter there more. I also think this is the most OC I've ever written Ed :P I think I'm getting better at that. I don't know, though.**

32. After you leave

Dear Envy (who probably won't even read this because he's a lazy sonuvabitch)

After you leave, my sheets are a mess. It's a fucken nuisance, straightening them all out again…so half the time I don't even bother. And last time, you even managed to _tear _one of them. I'm too busy being impressed and confused to be pissed off.

After you leave, the room smells of ammonia, mercury and sulphur. It's not a bad smell– it's just your smell, and I guess it's because you're a homunculus. It's hard to explain to Al, but it's better than girly smells like…I dunno. Primroses. Fuck those things.

After you leave, I feel…electric. You've just pushed every nerve I have to its breaking point, over and over again. I'm exhausted, frazzled, but so, so alive. It's such a fucked-up state of mind that all I can do until it subsides is wait for you to come back.

So hurry the fuck up.

-Edward Elric


	33. Mayflies

**Another one with Al! I love how sneaky he can be – he's a lot less black-and-white than Ed, and I love it.**

**Guest: Happy you're enjoying them And yeah, I've posted a bit of an explanation on Hero of the People as well – my plan was to see if I could get the characterization to shine through enough, but it's difficult for Will and Alex.**

**Pen-Name-Kitsune-chan: Well, he does (kind of) in Brotherhood – Envy's just protecting the 'sacrifice' as he's been told to do and Ed figures that out in Lab 5. But I'll think about it. I like that pair too, although What do you want? is a little shaky as one of the early ones. As for 2003-anime…I thought I had a fair amount, but I'll have to double-check. For a lot of them it's not really explicit…but for you I'll see if I can fit one in that actually talks about the 'we're brothers' deal. Apparently I'm good at writing angst + humour. Go figure XD Thanks for reviewing!**

33. Mayflies

"You humans are mayflies to me. I'm two hundred years old and I don't feel it. You're fourteen and you already sound like an old man."

Envy folded and unfolded his hands. Why was he here? And why couldn't he stop talking?

"Before I even begin to feel my age, both you and your brother will be gone, dust scattered to the winds. I'll have forgotten you by the next decade."

"I see."

_Get angry, why don't you? You foolish little boy. _Still, Envy couldn't quite bring himself to run away from the soul-bound armour who was listening so intently and so kindly.

"That's why…" He swallowed. _Stop it. _His mouth was charging ahead of his brain again. "That's why homunculi don't bond with humans. Because you'll die before we've even had the chance to live."

Al nods. "I see," he says again. "And that's why you're so single-minded in chasing me and Brother down."

He unstuck his lips, suddenly gone dry. "Yeah. Sure. That's why."

"You're in love with him, aren't you?"

Al's bluntness breaks the spell cast by the moonlight; Envy snorts as he gets to his feet, very obviously avoiding looking through the doorway and at Ed's sleeping form. "Yeah _right. _Look, I'll destroy you later, tin man. Go make sure he doesn't…something." He spoke too fast, tripping slightly over his words, then jumps onto the windowsill.

"Hold on, Envy. Before you go –"

Envy sighed and turned around, for some reason actually still listening to him. "What."

Al's voice sounded…mischievous, and Envy wasn't quite sure if he quite liked the sound of it. "We're mayflies to you. But maybe sometimes…it's worth it?"

"You're such a kid. I'm trying to destroy the world and you're trying to get your brother laid."

He shrugged, and if he'd had the functions necessary, Envy swore the brat would have been grinning. "He needs all the help he can get."


	34. Secrets

**Er, this one might be M material, I'm not sure. I tried to be circumspect.**

**I'm probably going to write a continuation to this at some point (although it won't be what you expect).**

34. Secrets

Edward Elric had a secret.

His brother didn't know it (though he might have suspected). His mechanic didn't know it. His superior officer, arrogant and omniscient as he was, didn't know it.

Nobody but him.

It would be the end of him if it got out, depending on who was the first to hear – at best discrimination, hatred and harassment; at worst, time in jail or execution.

This secret – the one he guarded more jealously (and more successfully) than his human transmutation and his empty brother – was simple enough, staggeringly so.

Edward liked men.

Secretly he was glad for the constant teasing from everybody and their dog about him and Winry. It was embarrassing, but a good cover for the fact that when he gave into those stupid adolescent urges of his, he _didn't _think of her.

It was sometime after his first encounter with the strange creatures from Lab 5, however, that a new development made his secret even harder to hide – his fantasies gained a face. He'd never found the bastard Colonel attractive – sure, he was pretty enough to look at, but his personality ruined dark-eyed, dark-haired men for Ed forever. Havoc had been closer to the mark until an innocent comment from Al had brought attention to the fact that Jean looked _far _too much like Al to be quite comfortable.

But there was just something about the green-haired enemy who'd leant so close to his face. The unknown, nameless – for how could 'Envy' be anything other than an alias? – and agonizingly, tantalizing, deceptively slim stranger with the lackadaisical twang in his voice and the long, long hair that had brushed so softly against Ed's cheek when he'd brought their faces together –

Ed sped up, lips tightly sealed so that Al wouldn't hear. Al thought he was asleep, and he really should be, but his fantasies wouldn't leave him alone. He'd thought for a moment he'd seen Envy outside the hospital window when he'd been there, but it had turned out to be nothing but the branches casting shadows. People on the street would briefly have his smirking face, but a second glance would prove him wrong.

"Oh god," he murmured, and then froze, stopping himself with difficulty. With something mumbled in an embarrassed voice, Al slunk into the other room, as much as an eight-foot-tall suit of armour can slink.

_Shit._

Ed's eyes flickered past the window – what was that? No, nothing. For a moment he'd thought he'd seen a flash of pale skin and dark hair, but it was nothing but shadows.

"Envy," he whispered, voice hoarse in the silence, breaths coming harder – and releasing.

"Huh. So that's what ya think of me," said a sardonic voice in the darkness, matter-of-fact and dry.

Ed span around in the bed, pulling up the covers even higher. Envy cocked his head, perching on the balls of his feet on the windowsill, with his knees apart (thank god he was wearing shorts or Ed wouldn't have been able to restrain himself) and fist underneath his chin.

"Well, well," he chuckled. "So li'l Edo has a secret."

"D-don't call me little!"

Envy jumped into the room, closing the window quietly behind him. "So what am I going to do with you, then?"

His eyes glittered, and he lifted his lip, one tooth shimmering in the moonlight.

Ed gulped. Some fantasies should never be played out.


	35. Forever is a Long Time

**I don't like this one so much, I feel like I'm using the same ideas over and over again. But I couldn't really think of anything else to do with the theme.**

**EvnyLover: Hehe, it's an interesting concept…I'm almost tempted to do a longer fic just with the idea of no voices XD I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for reviewing – and I hope you keep reading!**

35. Forever is a Long Time

Sometimes Envy wondered if they could stay like this forever. Snatched moments; sincere but lying words; passion sparked out of some deeper, instinctive and feral connection; but then he reminded himself of the truth.

Homunculi didn't have emotions – no, that wasn't the truth.

The deep, horrible truth was that homunculi _did. _And they just avoided them because they weren't worth the pain.

But Pride and Wrath had Minna (even if they denied it).

Lust and Gluttony had each other.

Sloth had his world of dreams and slumber.

Greed had his loyal companions, the snake-girl, the dog-boy, the bull-man and the lizard-man.

And Envy – Envy had Ed.

But the Promised Day inched ever nearer, and Envy regretted ever letting himself feel, ever letting that _goddamn _alchemist anywhere near him – because no connection, no attraction was worth jeopardizing the plan centuries in the making.

Ed was going to die. Every day, every night, every minute was a day and night and minute closer to the inevitable. Ed wasn't just a sacrifice, he was _his _sacrifice –

-so when Ed finally gave voice to Envy's daydreams, Envy didn't say the first thing he thought, which was that forever is a long time and that he should get his head out of the clouds.

Instead he just smiled and felt his face crack with the effort, knowing that 'forever' for Ed would be a very short time.


	36. Gone By Morning

**Companion poem to Petrichor, from Envy's point of view. I don't like it quite as much as Petrichor…but I'm really dang proud of that one.**

**It's really weird having a buffer. I was all like 'GOTTA GET NUMBER 39 DONE' then it's like 'hold on a secooooond'…**

**Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan: OHGODI'MSOSORRY I'm losing track of people's reviews _ I keep replying to your ones on Hero so I get confused! I'm definitely going to take your ideas into consideration…I'm feeling like I'm getting a bit repetitive, so thank you for the brainwave It's been a while since I've watched the 2003 series, and I'm not sure I ever honestly finished it, while I finished Brotherhood like a month ago. I'm glad you like 'Mayflies' – it feels very 'snapshot-y' to me. We don't know the full story – we're never going to. It's just two people having a conversation. Oh, and Al being sneaky. XD**

36. Gone by morning

Hold out your hands.  
Catch three raindrops

Pretend they're mine if it makes you feel better.

Close your eyes

Close your window

Or leave it open, I don't care.

When you look at me

You look at me

You look and you see

And it hurts like hell.

When you touch me I feel it

And it scares me to death

You burn and you freeze

Melting ice and cooling the flames.

I'm not the one you want

The one person I can't be

I'll be gone by morning

So don't look for me.

Don't believe for a moment

That I'm ever going to change

It takes more than the sun

It takes more than the rain

Don't believe for a moment

That I'm doing this for you

Because I'm not.

I swear.

I'm not.

So stand in the rain but look away

Because I don't want to see your face

Smeared with tears and torn with fears

I told you I wouldn't be staying here

Why aren't you afraid

Of the Big Bad Wolf?

Why aren't you afraid

Of what bumps in the night?

Why aren't you afraid of me?

What am I doing right?

I don't know anywhere good this can lead

I'll be gone by morning so don't look for me


	37. Terror

**As a special present to Pen-Name-Kitsune-chan – not exactly what you asked for, but it's 2003!canon, and I am going to be doing more with that.**

**Also, if you haven't already, check out The Seven Names of Envy Angevin – I'm almost at the halfway point and things are picking up speed. Chapter 21 is currently in beta but it should be up within the next few days. It's a rather different tone than this collection though :P**

37. Terror

Envy loved terrifying Edward. It was like a drug, watched the kid who looked _so much like the bastard _yelp or quiver, even under his mask of false bravado.

This time was no different, although his methods were slightly altered. It was such a dark night, after all, with no moon and about fifty broken streetlights. It would be a _shame _to waste it.

He could see him now – Envy's eyes had no problem with darkness, sucking in light from every available source and focusing on the bright colours that made Edward stick out so much. It would be so easy. He could strike from the alley, leave him in pain, and then dart off. Guerilla tactics. He'd have the boy going nuts.

Then, Edward stopped walking.

Envy frowned. Something else was going on.

Edward looked around – he was looking for something (or someone) but couldn't quite find it. He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket.

He looked up, not quite at Envy (but damnably close) and smiled.

"I know who you are."

It could have meant anything.

It could have been meant for anyone.

But it struck terror into Envy's heart.

Because the way he said it, the way he'd looked around –

Then Edward kept speaking.

"I know who you are. And I don't abandon family." His eyes kept venturing around for a hint of where Envy was hiding. "You've done terrible things."

Envy wanted to scream.

"But so have we."

Ed raised his automail arm.

"This – all of this – is about forgiveness. It's about penance."

Envy didn't like being afraid. This terror – this fear that…that…

"What are you afraid of?" Now it was a challenge.

"STOP IT!" screams Envy out into the street. "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING, YOU STUPID SPOILED HUMAN!"

Ed's eyes finally locked onto him, and he crossed his arms. "Oh, so it's 'stupid spoiled human' now? Listen, I'm giving you a chance –"

Envy pushed against the side of the building, launching himself across the street and at the boy who _wouldn't shut up._

Teeth tore at lips; tongue fought tongue; and finally, a shocked Ed managed to pull away. "What the _hell?"_

Envy grinned, lips stained with blood. "I'm not your brother, _pipsqueak. _You'd better fucking remember that."

And just like that, Ed was the one who was afraid again.

Just like it should be.


	38. Hands

**I know, everybody and their dog does a fic about 'hands'.**

**One thing about anime is it's hard to capture the little details of a person. If somebody has freckles, they have freckles EVERYWHERE – and we don't see people's scars unless they're relevant. That always makes me sad. **

**Finally – SAP WARNIIING.**

38. Hands

Ed has always been fascinated by hands, ever since he can remember. Losing one of his own has only increased his interest, given it a tinge of jealousy he won't admit to anyone.

Mom's hands, of course, are the first he can remember – gentle but with a hardness to them from the lye soap she used to wash. The only thing he never liked about her hands was the chewed, nervous nails and the simple silver ring that she was always touching, always caressing.

Winry's hands are different. Even though her hands have to cause him pain, they're also the ones that mend him when he's broken. She has tiny scars criss-crossing her fingers, reminders of when she wasn't so good at making automail, and the same chewed and torn nails as his mother – something that never fails to make him feel guilty.

Al's hands, whether flesh or steel, are always ones of restraint. Al's hands are sometimes all that stop Ed from becoming a killer. Sometimes he'll trace the padded gauntlets and remind himself – there, that was the scar from trying to climb the fence, and there's where the stray cat bit him…

Roy Mustang's hands have the same olive tint as the rest of his skin, but interrupted with almost-indistinguishable dark red patches – remnants, explains the Colonel, of his first forays into fire alchemy. They have a remarkable strength to them, too, something Ed notices whenever Mustang grasps his shoulder or shakes his hand.

But some hands have no scars at all.

Envy's hands are unbelievably cold, just like his heart. They've shed more blood than Ed can wrap his head around, and fought more battles. They're white as snow and lilies, and no matter how his eyes search them on every encounter with the homunculus, Ed can't find a single blemish, a single freckle.

Envy's hands are perfect.

Out of all the hands he's seen, somehow Envy's are the ones that Ed wants to hold.


	39. Heat

**I'm really unimpressed with this one ==; I like the idea but I don't think I executed it very well.**

**Early update today (tonight? Something) because I have a busy day tomorrow and I also want to get to the next few 'shots. I'm super proud of those ones. (For those who don't feel like going and looking at the list on my profile, the next ones are Sin, Little Mysteries, and Meaning.)**

39. Heat

Envy didn't care.

He didn't care what it took.

He wanted it all.

He wanted it all.

Ed was molten gold and fire.

Heat and flame and light.

He wanted it all.

All that heat, all that passion

Everything he lacked.

Everything he missed.

Everything he didn't have.

He wanted it all.

He would take it all.

But then he lay cold on stone

And Envy wondered

"What, then, was the point?"

And heat lay in the ashes

drowning in black blood.

_He is just so cold._

_ He can't stop his shivering._

_ He is just…so…cold._


	40. Sin

**So this one's like seven drabbles in one…also all metaphorical and shit, so don't take any of them completely at face value. And just think, my original vision for this was fluffy as hell. Jeezus.**

**People ask me why I don't write happier stories XD There's a funny one next, but enjoy the angst~**

40. Sin

Envy commits every sin when it comes to Edward Elric.

_**jealousy**_

__His own; his strongest. Edward stole what should have been his. A loving mother. A father, even for a few short years. Memories. Humanity. A brother. A home. But Edward has so much more than that that Envy wants; Edward is beautiful. Envy wants that but can't fully replicate it (he'll always just be a shadow). Edward is strong. (Envy will shatter with enough force, if the right person delivers it.) Edward is compassionate. (Envy tries, he does, but he can't quite seem to care about those pesky humans.) Edward is everything Envy isn't and that's why he hates him.

_**...greed**_

Envy wants to take not just everything Edward has, but everything Edward is – wear him like a second skin and drink in the love and goodwill given to him like gifts by everybody around him. He wants _all _of it, without fail. And if he was Edward, he wouldn't stop there – he would reach out and take everything, all the world and the universe and the universes beyond had to offer because he would be _Edward Elric, _and he _could. _He doesn't know why Ed hasn't yet. Because to be honest, greed is just second nature to sins like him.

…_**.gluttony**_

When he sees Ed, he has the urge to eat and eat – not just eat, but just to utterly _consume _him. He just looks so…so…perfect. Envy's never tasted human, and he never will unless it's Ed, but something about the Fullmetal Alchemist just makes him so _hungry. _And it doesn't matter what he stuffs into the big empty hole in his big empty stomach, he can't stop being hungry. Only one thing will fill him, and he won't break his centuries-old vow of vengeance for a simple hope that maybe a single piece of gold will stop him from starving.

…_**sloth**_

Envy really should be doing more. Killing Edward and Alphonse should be his main goal. But he finds himself spending more time watching and less time chasing, more time enjoying and less time taunting, more time dreaming and less time screaming. He somehow can't find the energy to chase Fullmetal for another useless battle – or to defy Dante and finally be permitted to kill his brothers. It's lazy of him, but he's over four hundred years old now– surely he's allowed a rest every now and again. Maybe if he waits long enough, Ed will drop dead on his own.

…_**..wrath**_

He hates him so much! He can't even find the words in this pesky language to articulate the wrath that's captured him now. He just hates Edward Elric. HATES. Because suddenly his dreams are a lot less bloody, no matter how he tints them and thinks of weapons or even tries to use his own bare hands. Because suddenly hating Edward Elric is getting harder. So obviously he needs to work harder at it. Hate. Hate. Hate. Don't think of how beautifully sad he is in the rain. Hate him. Don't think… just stop thinking. He hates Edward Elric…he must.

…_**.lust**_

__His body's a mess, and he didn't even know he was susceptible. Dante knew. That bitch. Edward – he must know, somehow. He's doing this on purpose, taking off his jacket to show off his flesh arm and how sculpted and tan it is. He's doing this on purpose, strolling through Envy's dreams (always daydreams, because sleeping is such a human thing) with fewer and fewer clothes, beckoning and teasing and _pleading. _He didn't even know this was possible. Are hate and lust so close together that even Envy, the most hateful of all, could want his rival so, so badly?

…_**.pride**_

There was no other way, when it came right down to it. His purpose was gone, sublimated in seduction and sweat. His drive was lost, his meaning blurred. He was _nothing. _He might as well be…might as well be _human._ Hateful thought. He was just glad he knew where the bones were, how to do it even without alchemy, because to ask Dante for help was too far for his already shattered pride. "See you on the other side…Edward Elric." And then Envy was gone, because seven sins is too much for anybody to hold at once, on their own.


	41. Little Mysteries

**I don't know where this came from XD Envy and Ed don't even interact, it's just homunculus weirdness and a cameo from Ed at the end, but I just got the idea and had to write it.**

**Also, Envy and Greed. Ed and Roy. OH MY GOD HOW HAVE I NOT NOTICED THIS BEFORE. (Hero of the People is going to play with this so much.)**

**I've started rewatching the first anime and I realized that the brothers do find out what the homunculi are at Lab 5. (I'd forgotten just how much happens there in the first anime :P) So a few of my earlier oneshots in this collection are slightly incorrect…sorry! Just call 'em AUs, I guess.**

**Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan: Unsurprisingly, that's where I got the idea. And sometimes a little bit of disjointed-ness goes a long way in communicating someone's mental state. Thank you for reviewing – and I'm super glad you liked it ^^**

41. Little Mysteries

"What've you got there, big brother?"

"I _told _you not to call me that, brat." Envy pushed the inquisitive homunculus away, but Wrath wasn't so easily deterred. Leaping up onto the back of the sofa, he leant over Envy's shoulder, 'accidentally' flicking his thick mat of black hair into the older being's face.

"Get the fuck off of me!"

"Nooo, I want to see! And Mommy says not to swear –"

Envy grabbed the roots of Wrath's hair right by the scalp and flipped the homunculus head-first into the floor. There was a satisfying 'squelch' of blood and brain matter, and then with a flicker of white sparks, Wrath was glaring upside-down at his attacker.

"That _hurt._"

"Pity you aren't human, it woulda shut you up for good." Envy examined his treasure again. It was small and metal, hardly larger than the pad of his finger with eight equal sides and a hole in the middle. It looked vaguely familiar, but Envy had stopped paying attention to much in the world about three hundred years back.

He sighed. He'd have to ask somebody about his little mystery.

* * *

"Hey Sloth."

"Mm?" The tall woman looked up from the basin of water she'd been staring into. "Yes, Envy?" Her eyes were dull and bored.

He held up his treasure. "What's this?"

She barely looked. "I don't know. Go ask Lust."

* * *

"Hey, Lust!"

"Yes, Envy?" She was cleaning blood off of one of her claws – Envy wondered whose this time.

He held it up again. "I found this. What is it?"

"I have not the foggiest idea. It might be a torture device." She grinned at the last one, and he reciprocated.

"Hmm, maybe. How would it work?"

Unfortunately, after about half an hour of trying to figure it out, they couldn't think of a single way to use it as a torture device…except perhaps determining what exactly it _was._

* * *

"Hey! Asshole!"

Greed rubbed his head where the rock had struck. "Watch it, monsterface."

"I have a question for you."

"What, _you_ need something from _me_?" Greed began to laugh, and steam began to billow from Envy's ears.

"Shut up, you useless excuse for a homunculus! I need you to tell me what _this _is."

Greed jumped from the tree, landing in front of the smaller figure, and then plucked the small piece of metal neatly from his fingers, ignoring the scowl of protest he got in return. "Heh. Whatcha gonna do for me in return…ugly?"

Envy snatched it back. "_Nothing._"

"Oh well then. What a pity. Gotta…_bolt._" With a snigger that sounded rather suspicious, Greed left.

Envy strongly considered beating his 'little brother's' head in.

* * *

"Hey, Gluttony, do you know what…stop drooling on me. Okay. Never mind."

* * *

Dante was cackling very loudly when Envy creaked open the door to her study…and there was a _lot _of red light. He decided to give it a pass.

* * *

Fuhrer King Bradley didn't get unscheduled appointments often – no, that was wrong. People did _not _walk into his office without an appointment, or at least a knock.

So of course his first impulse was to draw his sword and put it at the intruder's neck.

"Cool it, Pr – er, Fuhrer." The man closed the door behind him and morphed back into his preferred form. "Just me."

Pride sheathed his sword. "You know it's dangerous to visit me here."

"I know, I know, I get it," said the eternal teenager with a voice and expression that rather hinted that he didn't, "but you're my last chance!"

Pride raised an eyebrow. When it failed to garner any response, he mentally cursed and raised the _other _one.

Envy opened his palm, where the piece of metal lay. "What the hell is this? No one else knows."

"_That?_" He tried to hide his incredulity. "It's a bolt."

"A…a what?"

Pride didn't get to see Envy nonplussed very often. He tried not to show his glee too much. "A bolt. It's used to secure nuts –"

"_What?_"

"It's a piece of mechanical hardware!" he nearly yelled. It was so, so easy to forget that Envy was supposedly the oldest of them…although now that he thought about it, that might be the precise problem.

"Oh." Envy looked it at again, and then back up at Pride, disappointment clear. "Like, in automail and stuff?"

He nodded.

"That's all?"

Pride nodded again.

"Dammit. Lust and I were hoping it was a torture device."

Pride shook his head. "It's what would hold them together."

Envy definitely perked up at that – and then froze. "Hold on, did you say _bolt?_"

"Yes, it's a bolt."

Envy's hand closed into a fist around his little treasure. "I need to go murder Greed a couple times," he forced out through gritted teeth.

* * *

"EDWARD!"

Ed stuck his flesh pinky into his ear and twisted it around a few times with a bored expression. "What now, Winry?"

"I thought this was just routine maintenance! You didn't tell me you'd BROKEN it!"

"I didn't…I think?"

Winry rapped him smartly on the head with her wrench. "You're missing a BOLT!"

Ed rubbed his head. "What, really? Is that important?"

"Yes! You're lucky the entire thing didn't fall apart!" Winry sighed. "How did you even manage to just lose one bolt and not notice?"

The shorter blond shrugged as well as he could. "Just one of life's little mysteries, I guess."

That line, of course, earned him another whack with the wrench.


	42. Meaning

**It was so, so, so, so, SO tempting to do something about '42'. But that would been bad of me. **

**The name meaning in this is completely accurate, by the way, except taking Amestrian as 'English'.**

**Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan: He picked it up after it fell – if he'd gotten it straight from Ed he would have known what it was (a piece of his automail). I couldn't resist the Greed part especially – it's the kind of asshole thing he would do. XD It's not often I'm inspired for something funny, but I'm glad it worked! Thanks for reviewing as always~**

42. Meaning

It was in the middle of a fight, when Envy had Ed pinned, that Ed suddenly let it pour out.

"Envy, an emotion that occurs when a person lacks another's perceived superior quality, achievement or possession and wishes that the other lacked it."

Envy froze, and then his mouth twisted into a rather unpleasant frown. "You work at being an asshole or does it come naturally?"

Ed winced. "Sorry." He'd memorized the dictionary and sometimes he'd spout things when he got nervous.

He didn't expect laughter, even if there was bitterness there. "Sorry? You're _apologizing? _You are such a dork."

"Better than a palm-tree with a shitty name," retorted the blond.

At least the concussion meant he wasn't as bored in the hospital as usual.

He'd completely forgotten by that time, but after a particularly rough battle that had somehow ended up with him flat on his back on the dented asphalt, Envy leant down, bending at the hip (how his enemy could be so damn flexible he didn't know; he was kind of jealous) and murmured something.

"Edward, from Old Amestrian 'ead', happy, and 'weard', guard. It can also mean prosperous, or rich. Fitting for the golden boy." For all the bitterness of the words, they were spoken with a strange balance of tiredness and wonder.

"I didn't know that," was all Ed could think to say. With a wry chuckle, Envy flicked his nose.

"Surprising for the bookworm. Oh, and here's one last present." Envy stood up, and then drove his heel into Ed's stomach, making him yelp in surprise and completely winding him. "I guess my name suits me too. Later, brat."

He walked away nonchalantly, but Ed could see the slight tremble in his shoulders and the unsteadiness in his tread.


	43. Loyalties

**This one is a continuation to 'Secrets', but from (mostly) Roy Mustang's perspective. This is another one that doesn't directly mention the theme name – it also plays with the Pride idea a bit.**

**Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan: I do the same thing XD And it's just so...Ed-ish. He would TOTALLY do shit like that. Etymology is a love of mine, too, although it means I end up putting way too much thought into names for my original stuff. FMA's really cool for that though, because Hiromu used names from a language that wasn't even her own. Alex Louis Armstrong is one I get a kick out of because he has the name of two kings and the first man to walk on the moon. SUCCESS HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN THE ARMSTRONG LINE FOR GENERATIONS indeed...**

**Refresher for timeline: set just after Lab 5…then massively diverges.**

43. Loyalties

Colonel Roy Mustang frowned as he deciphered the chicken scratch that passed for his subordinate's writing – and then looked up at said subordinate. "An inside source?"

Ed nodded. "He's giving me information on…his kind…in return for…" He stopped, looking almost embarrassed. "Well, he's doing it because he hates them now." It was an obvious cover up, but Mustang decided to let it go – for the most part.

"See you aren't trading military secrets, Fullmetal. Your brother isn't worth the country."

Ed's eyes flashed, and he smacked his hands onto the Colonel's desk. "He is to me, asshole! But…" His voice subsided to a semi-normal level. "I'm not gonna do that."

* * *

Ed reported in again a week later.

"You asshole! I didn't need to go on that stupid fool's errand!"

Roy raised an eyebrow, not bothering to suppress his smirk. "Oh? So he wasn't ignoring the rules of equivalent exchange after all?"

"NO!" thundered the blond. "Not only was he some stupid third-rate alchemist, the people who'd reported it in didn't know the _first _thing about alchemy! They'd seen him make something bigger and assumed he was ignoring equivalency – it's like they'd never even HEARD of density!"

Losing himself in his own agitated rant, Ed began to pace back and forth, gesticulating wildly. Roy observed, noting every detail as he always did.

Then he noticed the bruise.

It wasn't a real bruise; besides, Ed had taken down the alchemist without a fight. It was the dark-red type of bruise one got from lips and teeth rather than fists.

"I see you had time to stop and visit your girlfriend on the way, Fullmetal."

Ed froze. "What? I don't –"

Roy's smirk grew even wider. "Next time you delay reporting to me, make sure she doesn't leave _evidence _behind."

Ed's hand clapped to his neck as his face paled. "D-damn him…" he muttered, almost too low for the Colonel to hear.

But he did.

Roy blinked, and then sucked his lips in. "Ah. It appears I've made a mistake."

"W-wait, no! I didn't – no – I – just –" Ed stammered and stuttered, until finally he fell into an uncharacteristically meek silence. He walked closer to the Colonel's desk.

"Please," he whispered, voice almost breaking. "I…Even Al doesn't know."

"The policy, Fullmetal, is 'don't ask, don't tell'." He smiled in an attempt at comfort. "Your business is your own." His tone turned mock-serious. "Until it makes you late for another report. You're dismissed."

With that, Ed returned to his usual self with a snort. "About time, bastard Colonel. Seriously, I don't know why you can't just read the stupid things without me having to go over everything twice."

"Because your handwriting is atrocious and your sense of structure isn't much better."

"Pff. Whatever." Ed lifted his hand as he left. "Later, asshole."

Alone again, Roy bent down to fill out his paperwork – when the corner of a file poking out from underneath the stack caught his eye. He slid it out, careful not to let the papers above it fall over, and opened it.

_Envy (no last name given)._

_ "He's giving me information on…his kind…in return for…Well, he's doing it because he hates them now."_

"Oh, Ed," murmured the officer with a growing sense of apprehension. "What have you gotten yourself into now?"

* * *

Ed requested (by letter) not to be sent on another mission for at least two weeks – unusual for the Elrics. They were usually haring off another place within three days at least; either a lead from him or something of their own.

Still, Roy wasn't worried. Everybody needed to stop and catch their breath every now and again, and Ed hadn't stopped for four years. _I know some higher-ups who could take a lesson from him on perseverance._

However, when Al showed up (alone) at his office three days into the vacation, he began to feel the first twinges of concern.

"Oh, hello, Alphonse. What brings you here?"

The suit of armour pressed his fingers together in an awkward gesture that reminded Roy sharply of who the imposing figure really was; a fourteen-year-old boy in a body he didn't own. "I…Um…It's, it's…It's Brother."

Roy discreetly closed his office door – he trusted Havoc or Hawkeye or Fuery with his life, but some things it was best to keep to a small circle. "What's the matter?" he asked, rather too brusquely, but it couldn't be helped.

"He's…I think something's wrong."

"Is he sick?"

Al shook his head. "No…he's disappearing. He'll say he's going to the library, then he won't be back for twelve hours!"

Roy couldn't help but smile at the thought that crossed his mind. "Are you sure he isn't just at the library for twelve hours?"

"No, that's what I thought at first…but then I went to ask the librarians and they said they hadn't seen him!"

Roy raised his eyebrow. He was going to have amazing facial muscles by the end of his dealings with the Elrics. "Uh, which librarians?"

Al checked them on his fingers. "First Military Branch, Second Military Branch, Third Military Branch, Fourth Military Branch, Central Public, all the high school libraries…They wouldn't let me into the primary schools, though."

Roy pretended to drop something, and then bent down to get it. _I will not laugh at the poor worried boy. I will not laugh at the boy looking for his brother. I will not laugh. _Strength of will won out and he straightened again. "I see."

"Not only that…I think he's sneaking out at night."

"How would he do that? I thought you two shared a room."

"Not anymore…he, er..." Al rubbed the back of his head, once again acting his age. Finally he leant over and whispered it shamefacedly into Roy's ear.

Roy wasn't sure whether to laugh, cry, or choke. "I…see. Alright. Perhaps it has something to do with –" He stopped himself, unsure why. _Does Al know about Envy? They don't keep secrets from each other…and Ed doesn't lie to his brother about where he is._

"Edward can take care of himself, Al," he said, as soothingly as he could. "But I'll let you know if I learn anything new."

He should have told Al about Ed's informant there and then.

But he didn't.

* * *

It was almost two weeks later that Fullmetal finally dragged himself back into Mustang's office.

And every fear of Alphonse Elric and Roy Mustang combined was completely and utterly justified.

"Hey, bastard," he muttered, voice quiet and slurred. The bags under his eyes were almost as black as his jacket, and he was dragging his feet with a slight limp. He didn't even bother standing at attention, sitting (or rather falling) onto the black couch with a badly-disguised wince.

"What's the matter with you, Fullmetal?"

"Nothing."

Roy pursed his lips. He knew the signs of fatigue, and this was far beyond a few sleepless nights. "When was the last time you got some proper sleep?"

"I dunno. I thought I was here to get a mission, bastard-Colonel, not a lecture." He sat up, although his shoulders were hunched – and, Roy noticed, his automail shoulder was pushed farther forward than the other.

"Is your automail working properly, E – Fullmetal?"

Ed glanced up, as surprised as Roy was at the almost-slip. "Y-yeah, it's fine. Now what've you got for me? I don't have all day."

With a sigh, the Colonel slid the file he'd had for Ed off of the desk – and opened the top drawer with a clatter, dropping it in. "Nothing. Go home and sleep – and whatever you're doing to yourself, stop it."

"What?" Ed leapt to his feet. "Stop fucking around and gimme that file."

"No. You're in no condition to go gallivanting off anywhere, let alone on a mission. If you screw up on your own time it's not my business. If you screw up on an assignment, then it becomes my problem."

Ed slammed his hands on the desk, closing the gap between them with fire in his eyes. "I told you I'm fucking fine, now give me the file!"

"No." Roy returned his gaze, keeping it steady and using the moment to note just how haggard and drawn Ed's face was.

"DAMN YOU MUSTANG!" The automail fist crashed into his jaw without warning. "I need another fucking lead! I need to restore Al soon, or he's gonna…gonna…" He grabbed Mustang's collar, gritting his teeth, and then relaxed his grip, slumping dejectedly. "The armour's gonna reject him, Colonel," Ed murmured.

"And I suppose you got this from your…informant?"

Ed nodded, on the brink of frustrated tears.

Roy gently pulled his hand away. His jaw was stinging already, but he could deal with that later. "What have you been doing to get this information, Edward?" He used his subordinate's first name on purpose this time.

Ed shook his head. "Don't…don't ask me that. I'm awful at lying."

"Edward, tell me."

"I can't. I won't. It's none of your business anyway."

"It's my business when you're wearing yourself to the bone." Roy raised his hand to the collar of Ed's jacket and gently tugged it away. The bitemarks were fresh and bloody, some of them still scabbing over. "If you die before you get a chance to restore your brother, that'll kind of defeat the point."

Ed backed away, tugging his collar back into position. "Shoulda known you wouldn't understand. He _promised. _And…ah, fuckin' hell." He pulled the pocketwatch out of his pocket and tossed it onto the desk. "I guess I don't need you bastards anymore."

He walked away, and Roy was too shocked to even try to stop him – staring at the watch on the desk in front of him. It had sprung open at the impact, and the words staring him in the face – "Don't Forget, 3rd Oct." were enough to render him speechless.

* * *

Ed lasted a month after he left the military. The letters Roy got from Al were falsely cheerful, but Roy could read between the lines well enough to know that Ed was deteriorating – fast.

And then he disappeared.

* * *

"Have you found anything, Havoc? Breda?"

They both shook their heads, remarkably subdued. "The boss left no trace behind. Just…poof. Vanished." Havoc gestured with his hands.

"Nothing?"

"He didn't take anything with him, either," added Breda. "Even his coat's still here." He held up the signature red coat that had gone everywhere with the fifteen-year-old.

Roy sighed, rubbing his forehead. Hawkeye was with Al in the other room, trying to calm him down – it had been less than twenty-four hours and he was already blaming himself. However, from what Alphonse was saying…this had been coming for a while.

He picked up the coat – and felt something in the lining. _Paper. _Hands trembling almost too badly to do it, he ripped open the fabric and pulled out the note in there.

It was a string of letters and numbers he couldn't begin to comprehend – he didn't try. He strode through the doorway to where Hawkeye knelt in front of a motionless suit of armour.

"Alphonse." No reaction. "We found this."

Al lifted his head, read the paper; a moment later he spoke, reading out the coded words. "I'll find a way. No matter what it takes. No sacrifice is too great. I'm sorry." He began to make the sounds of choking sobs, and Hawkeye laid her hand gently on his helmet.

* * *

Envy couldn't stop admiring his latest prize. "You're right, this was far more fun than killing you."

Ed smiled, but it was empty. "You said you'd show me how to restore Al."

"Of course, of course, but…" Envy reached over and stroked Ed's unbound hair, falling like silk over his shoulders in the darkness. "Let's have some fun first, hm?"

Ed jerked away. "You have nothing to blackmail me with anymore. We can drop that bit."

"No, we _can't._" Envy bit down on his pet's throat, close to but not quite touching the jugular. "That was the deal, pipsqueak. You become mine…I save your brother."

Ed's eyes flicked downwards. "Of course."

"Of course…?" Envy squeezed the back of his neck, sharp nails digging into flesh.

He could hear the pipsqueak grit his teeth. "Of course…_Master._"

_What do you think of your precious little boy now, Hohenheim?_

Some things are worse than death after all.


	44. Pleasure and Pain

**Ooh boy, I forget why I even PUT this one as a theme. I think I was planning to write smut and now I'm like BUT I'M SO BAD AT SMUT.**

**So I did this shitty thing instead.**

**EnvyLubber: Haha, I don't see why not. I've already got an idea for it. It won't be for a while though, the theme that suits it best is down in the 60s somewhere. I'm glad you like it XD**

**ellethearrogant: Chapter 10: Why thank you! It's one of my proudest moments in this collection, to be completely honest ^^  
**** Chapter 19: This one seems to be a favourite. I've always wanted to explore immortality, especially in teh FMA world, and I'm glad it struck a chord. *hands tissue, accepts cookie, noms cookie* I think you're like the fifth person I've made cry with this one XD Sorry...I'm a bit of a sadist like that.**

44. Pleasure/Pain

Envy hated pain. He couldn't die, of course, but that didn't mean the sensation was any less agonizing.

_Edward hated pleasure sometimes. He'd lose himself in it, and then suddenly, he'd remember that Al couldn't feel it - any of it._

He preferred pleasure, although it was his little secret - chocolate parfaits, silk, warm blood, cool breezes. They tickled his sense, and even if it was a terribly human thing to do, he revelled in every single one of them.

_He preferred pain. Pain centred him, reminded him of his goal. Pain, he could focus on. Pain, he could use._

Causing pain, on the other hand - that was another little pleasure. Even a bruise or a scratch, watching someone wince or scream...especially silly little pipsqueak Ed. He laughed at them, their futile struggles.

_Causing pleasure, though...Tickling Winry until she giggled, or lifting little elysia into the air and making airplane noises, or watching Al with one of his strays 9even for a short time) was the only thing that he could enjoy without guilt._

Envy frowned. Looking at the pipsqueak happy - the boy who looked _so much _like the father he detested, who was everything that he could have been, _should have been _- the pain it brought was almost unbearable.

_Ed tried to look away but couldn't. Seeing the homunculus in pain shouldn't have pleased him so much. He wasn't that sadistic. Even after all the creature had done to them - he couldn't be that evil! He couldn't be. He couldn't._

_ And that, in itself, was pain._


	45. Burning

**Took me a while to come up with something for this theme, but I thought of something eventually. This cross-references both animes, by the way, because it was just too cool not to.**

**Guest: I actually didn't realize about that twist until now xD I just wanted to have Roy seeing Ed disintegrating. But you're right, yay ^^ And 2003!Envy is a lot of fun to play with~ Thanks for reviewing!**

**Fairyboydammit: Oh hallo! I noticed you favouriting all three of my major projects a while ago (thank you for the ego boost :B) and now you've reviewed, yay! And yeah, I think I actually liked it better than I would have if I'd done smut XD thanks for stopping by, hope to see a review from you on Hero and Seven Names some time~**

**Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan: Opposites is a BIG theme for me, especially in this collection. I'm glad you like the parallelism, I thought it got a little clumsy at the end though :P Thanks for reviewing as always ^^**

45. Burning

It was the flame that kept him going, it was the inferno that raged inside, it was the firestorm that burnt his insides and whispered and screamed, 'kill kill kill'. Vengeance.

It burnt the hottest whenever he laid eyes on Hohenheim or his precious little sons, of course. Any time he saw the whore who'd given birth to them came a close second, although she was dead now.

Whenever he was forced to interact with his dear master Dante for too long, the hate flared high. She was supposedly his mother, but her ice never melting, no matter how fiercely he burned.

It was all that defined him. It was all that drove him.

_Snap._

He screamed as the flame consumed his skin, his eyes, his hair – everything. It was a fitting end – the hundredth of its kind in a few short minutes.

So this, in the end, was the payoff.

He was to burn after all.


	46. Memories

**I've been doing less and less actual Edvy…well, that will be rectified soon. XD**

**I wa so tempted to give this a happy ending. I really, really wanted to, but it would have been painfully OOC **

**Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan: I kinda figured XD I can sort of tell when someone's forgotten to log in, because everybody writes their reviews slightly differently. I'm glad you liked this one, I really wanted to have fun with the 'karmic death' idea. **

** As for Dante, I've always held that she's the one person that Envy honestly fears – which kind of hints at some abuse back when he was human :P**

**Eliza Loves Yaoi: *rubs back of head awkwardly* Aww…thanks. This chapter makes everybody cry (even me while writing it :P). I can't wait to see what you come up with!**

**What-is-the-color-of-love: Look at this way, you got to read 45 at once! Now you have to read one a day like everybody else (mwahahaha). Glad you're enjoying the oneshots ^^**

46. Memories

It was the year 1904, and the immortal creature who had once been known as William Elric was watching children play with their mother.

"Mom, keep your eyes closed!"

Trisha laughed, a sweet sound that echoed over the gentle hills of Rizenbul, and squeezed her eyes even more tightly shut as the little boys led her across the field – one by the hand, the shorter tugging on her apron. "Okay, but are we nearly there?"

"Mhm! It's the bestest place in Rizenbul and nobody knows about it 'cept us and now you!"

_And me, _thought Envy with no small measure of vindictiveness as he followed them, perfectly disguised among the underbrush. He'd chosen a small form, a rattlesnake who could wind around the stones and slither silently across the ground.

The 'bestest place in Rizenbul' was a small pool, muddy and alive with bass-voiced frogs, fish that reflected the sun's rays like tiny, ever-shifting mirrors and the ripples made by the steady strokes of the weeping willows' wind-stirred branches. It was gorgeous, if dirty.

Envy hated it.

Trisha loved it. "Oh, it's wonderful!" she breathed, with no trace of falseness. She sat down in the mud, and her two boys joined her, one on either side.

Envy watched them still.

He wondered what would have happened if he'd ever brought Dante to a place like this – and on the heels of the stray thought came a memory, a scrap of humanity that emerged whenever he least wanted it.

"_Mama, Mama! Come look, come look!" He tugged at her gown with muddy hands, but she snatched the skirt away with a disgusted sound._

_ "William, I'm busy."_

_ "But I found a pretty!"_

_ "Well, go enjoy your…pretty…then." She stalked away in her velvet, dark hair bound up in a jewelled nut._

_ William sat down hard, pouting and trying to force back the tears in his eyes. Mama never had time for his pretties._

_ Someone sat down next to him. He looked up. It was Papa, with a big smile on his face._

_ "You found a pretty?"_

_ Will nodded, still pouting._

_ "Can I see?"_

_ William's eyes lit up, and he sprang to his feet. "This way, Papa!"_

Envy shook his reptilian head with a scowl, but examined the Trisha woman again – she was hoisting up her skirts now and splashing around in the pool with her boys. She reminded him, he realized sickly, of Hohenheim.

He could see why Hohenheim had left Dante now.

_But why me?_

Because he was a monster.

Still…there was a part of him tempting to transform into a little boy, suck his thumb and wail a little. He had no doubt that she would sweep over, ask what was wrong and give him a hug, let him cry into her apron.

It would be so _easy._

Envy felt the tug at his heart again as Trisha lifted Al out of the pool and swung him around, giving the top of his head a big smooch.

"No fair, Mom! I want one too!"

"And you shall get one, my sweet little prince." She bent over and kissed Ed as well, laughing slightly at the flush on his face from being referred to as 'little'.

Envy slithered away. He was starting to feel sick.

_"Mama, can I have a kiss?"_

_ "No. You're covered in dirt. Go clean yourself, you mucky little brat."_

_ "Mama, can I have a hug?"_

_ "There. That was a hug. Now go away."_

_ "Mama, I tripped and hurted myself!"_

_ "Then don't run so fast in the halls."_

_ "But it huurrts!"_

_ "Then you've learned your lesson."_

He raised his head for one last look. Trisha's laugh still rang across the field.

"_You_ should have been _my _mother." He gave voice to his wish, quietly where nobody would hear his blasphemy, and then disappeared into the long grass.


	47. Masks

**Watch the 'Shake It Out' video by Florence and the Machine and you will understand this piece so much better.**

**Brotherhood-verse.**

**Ashling Ivy: :D Yay! I seem to have roped in a fair number of non-Edvy fans XD I enjoy the canon pairings too, I just find it hard to write anything new or unpredictable for them :/ Thanks for reviewing, and I'm glad you like my little collection of craziness ^^**

**what-is-the-color-of-love: You couuuuld, but you woooon't…right?**

**Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan: Hehe ^^ Those were my exact thoughts. Heck, I want Trisha as a mum! And from what we've seen of Hohenheim, he's a really, really nice guy who tries to be this distant figure and do the right thing even if it kills him. So I figured he'd have this awesome relationship with his first son. I'm glad you liked this one, I wanted to put some cuteness at the end but the IC fairy forced me not to T_T **

47. Masks

The room was alive with colour, viridian and vermilion weaving together with sapphire and indigo to make a dizzying, shifting display. The women were in low-necked, full-skirted gowns – some as gold as the sun, some as silver as the moon, some as pearly as the starlight – and the men were in tight-fitting suits in just as many hues. Everybody wore sparkling, vibrantly-coloured masks – some festooned with ribbons, some adorned with bullion. There were some blown of multicoloured glass, and others woven of silk. There were masks with long beaks, and masks with grinning faces, and masks with words in ancient languages etched into them like prayers.

In the middle of the dreamlike dance, Edward Elric stood, unwilling to admit he was afraid, but equally unwilling to turn and run. He didn't like being unable to see anybody's face. _Anybody _could be here.

He adjusted the simple red masquerade mask he wore, tying the black ribbons more tightly. It only covered half of his face, but Mustang had insisted that he at least let his hair loose – "it's no fair if it's obvious who you are!"

Stupid Bastard.

The music was too loud as well. It was fast-paced, echoing through the banquet hall filled with dancers. All in all, the entire business was giving him a headache.

"Well, hello, there." The voice sounded familiar, but he couldn't place it. Swivelling around, he came face-to-face with a masked man, slim in a black drainpipe suit and with a cascade of long, black hair rippling over his shoulders. His mask was just as dark, with purple piping around the edges and eyeholes that brought the shocking violet colour of his irises. "Care for a dance?"

Ed snorted. "I don't dance."

"Oh? Why are you here, then?" There was a hint of mockery in the stranger's voice, and Ed made a fist in his pocket. "Come on. Standing here all alone can't be any fun."

The asshole was _right, _admitted Ed, although only to himself. "Fine. But I have no idea what I'm doing."

"That's perfectly alright." The voice was painfully familiar – that slightly mocking tone, the feminine pitch – but Ed couldn't quite place it. "Nobody will know," he added, laughing at his own little joke.

The stranger took Ed's hand in his own, and Ed stiffened, wondering if he would notice the automail. However, he didn't seem to notice, or care, merely guiding Ed's other hand to his waist. It was thin and bony, but with a curve to it. His hand fit like…well, a glove.

"Gently goes…there. Let me lead you." The stranger's voice was kind of like a snake, decided Edward, although not necessarily a poisonous one. It had the same slithering sound, smooth and slippery.

He stumbled, and stammered an apology, much to the stranger's delight.

"Here, like _this._" After a moment, it clicked in Ed's mind – the pattern of interlacing feet, matching with the music. It made _perfect _sense.

Once he saw it that way, he had no problem with it.

"There we go. Got the basics now, love?" The way the stranger whispered the epithet sounded like he was used to saying something quite different.

"Yeah, figured it out."

"Then let's speed it up a bit." Suddenly they were going faster and faster, circling around at the same dizzying pace as the rest of the dancers.

"I'm gonna trip if we keep doing this –"

"No, you won't," murmured the stranger, thin lips curving upwards. "Unless your leg malfunctions, but I doubt that'll happen."

Ed didn't miss a beat in the dance, but he frowned under his mask. "How'd you know about my leg?"

The stranger's face told Ed that he'd revealed a little too much.

"Who are you?"

"If I told you, that'd ruin all the fun!" The indignance was _definitely _familiar, but Ed couldn't quite figure out who it was behind that mask.

The music came to an end in a great flourish of strings, and the two of them slowed and came to a stop. Ed lunged for the mask, but the stranger ducked away in a fluid, boneless motion.

"Ah, ah. Don't ruin my night."

"Dammit, I deserve to know who I just danced with!"

The stranger shrugged with a chuckle. "You really _haven't _been to a masquerade before, have you?" He turned and walked away, whistling something merrily with his hands in his pockets.

"Bastard," hissed Ed, glad the mask was hiding his flush. Then he noticed something odd – when the light caught the stranger's hair a certain way, it seemed less black and more of a dark-green hue.

And suddenly it all made sense – although now, he rather wished it didn't.


	48. Drumming

**Nearly forgot to update today O.O Sorry!**

**Continuation to 'Masks' because I couldn't think of anything else interesting.**

**Also – soon, I'll be at the halfway point, 50 chapters! I'm hoping I can break 50 reviews by then. As an incentive, I'll write a special oneshot about anything FMA for the 50th reviewer :3 (I mean, I will for anyone who asks, but…it's the thought that counts, okay?)**

**What-is-the-color-of-love: There we go XD Besides, I'm nearly halfway through!**

**mrsbenedictcumberbatch: D'aww, you're making me blush. Thank you! Glad you're enjoying these :D Also, digging your username. **

48. Drumming

Ed asked around. He used every connection he had, and didn't mention the (possible) name of the stranger – just the things he'd noticed, the things he wished he hadn't noticed.

And finally, he was given a location.

The sound of drumming helped him find his way through the maze of alleys. This part of Central was a mess, a dip in the eastern part of the city where the smashed-glass skyscrapers stayed the same height but the ground got lower and lower. The towers became mighty, then godlike, then incomprehensible the lower into this part of the city he got.

And there, in the central, was the Lumiére.

That was just one of its many names, of course. It was where the gypsies and the Ishbalans and the Xingese refugees and anyone with music to make and mouths to feed came to dance and sing…and drum.

Sitting by the fire in the centre, watching the drummers, was Envy. Ed sat down next to him, not saying anything but staring into the fire.

Finally, after he couldn't stand it any longer, he asked. "Why were you there?"

"Why was I where, pipsqueak?" Envy took a swig from the bottle he held.

Ed didn't bother getting mad. "Oh, drop it. Just…look, I'm not gonna be stupid, okay?"

"That's a tall order."

He managed to rein himself in before the rant made it past his lips. "I just want to know."

"I told you, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Envy, you're a dumbass. You can _shapeshift. _Yet you showed up to a masquerade with green hair." Ed leant back on his elbows. "You know what I think."

Envy grunted. "What?" He took another drink.

"You wanted me to know who you were."

Envy choked on his drink and spluttered it out, then began to laugh. "Man, you sure think highly of yourself! What, you really think I thought that far ahead? You humans are so self-centered!"

Ed raised an eyebrow, smirking.

The homunculus scowled. "Aw, screw you." He lay back on the ground next to Ed.

"So really, what's going on here? This a trap or something?"

Envy chuckled darkly, and Ed wondered if he should get up and run yet – then Envy shoved the bottle at Ed's chest. "Drink up, shut up and enjoy the music…love."


	49. Lollipop

**A little break from the angst! I felt like doing something cute and a bit less intense :3**

**Brotherhood-verse. Obviously.**

**what-is-the-color-of-love: Sorry, I'm not doing a sequel, mostly cause I have no idea what I would do for it XD However, I do have tentative plans with another author for them to continue it…I won't say who just yet, just in case it falls through. But keep your eyes peeled!**

**Straykit: Good, that makes two of us! There's just something about describing the masks and the dancing and squee. And I know, I've been talking to xir about it :D You should try it! You should ALL try it! Thanks for reviewing~**

**DemonLordoftheSurface: I try ^^ And I'll definitely look at it once you post it! There's a serious shortage in Edvy fics right now And you must be doing a hell of a lot of squealing since it's daily updates xD**

49. Lollipop

Ed had long since learned to ignore it when the homunculus decided to show up at the office. At first his paranoia had led him to start fights with him, but eventually sense had won out. Envy wasn't actually _doing _anything, and he only seemed to appear on those rare occasions when Mustang had gotten Ed to sit down and do his share of the paperwork – so it wasn't about spying.

And to be perfectly honest, Ed didn't mind the company.

However, they never spoke – Envy would just show up, watch Ed (somewhat creepily) and after some time, leave again. It was a nice little status quo, and not one he was tempted to break.

Until, of course, the one day when Envy showed up with a lollipop.

It wasn't one of the small, round ones the size of a dime – no, Envy had managed to procure a lolly roughly the size of his head, patterned with a swirl of bright rainbow colours. Already his small tongue was licking at one side, both hands wrapped around the white stick. It looked absolutely delicious.

And Ed _wanted _it.

"Oy."

Envy looked up, keeping his tongue on the lollipop. "Yeth?"

"Got another one of those?"

Envy shook his head. "Getcher own." He continued his happy slurping, not realizing the jealousy he was inducing in the teenager across the room – or maybe he was, and didn't care.

"I can't. I'm not allowed to leave until I'm done my paperwork."

Envy shrugged. "Not my problem."

"How is it not? You're here all the time!"

He shrugged again. "Whatever."

Ed sighed and lowered his head, trying to get some work done.

Except that bloody _slurping _wouldn't _stop. _And every now and again Envy would make a little happy sound which reminded Ed of every cute kid he'd ever known.

"You know," he said conversationally, "that's a really big lollipop."

"Mhm! I like things big."

_I…didn't hear that. _"Surely you don't need all of it. You'll get a sugar rush."

Envy rolled his eyes and gave Ed a rather vicious glare. "I'm not _three, _Fullmetal. I can handle a sugar rush. Besides," he kicked his feet with a grin, "why would you even _get _candy if you didn't want a sugar rush?"

Ed scowled. "Aw come on. Just lemme have a bit."

"No! It's mine! I paid for it!"

"Like hell you did."

"You're right. Well…I stole it fair and square!"

With a groan, Ed got up from the desk. "You're toting that around in front of me and making noises like a kitten at the milk, and you're talking about _fair?_"

"Fine, fine." Envy let out an exaggerated sigh. "I'll let you have some of my delicious, wonderful, amazing lollipop – IF!"

"If?" Ed raised an eyebrow.

"If…" Envy grinned wickedly. "You gimme a kiss."

"WHAAAT?"

"C'moon, pipsqueak! Equivalent exchange! Something sweet for something sweet!" He leered, baring all of his sharp teeth. "Besides, nobody will know."

"That's – not – you – but – YOU'RE CRAZY!"

Envy's leer dropped into a pout, complete with quivering bottom lip. "You mean you don't want to kiss me?"

"I – I – I don't wanna kiss anybody!"

"Pff. It's not a big _deal._"

"YEAH IT IS!"

Envy rolled his eyes, and then went back to licking his lollipop – glancing discreetly over the top of it.

Ed refused to look directly at him. "_Fine."_

"Sorry, what was that, pipsqueak?"

"I said fine! But only if you stop calling me a piece of lint!"

Envy chuckled. "Okay, fair deal. C'mere, you."

Ed did so. Very, _very _slowly.

"Chin up."

Ed did so – and pecked Envy very, very lightly on the lips. "There. Now do I get some?"

"That wasn't a kiss!"

Ed crossed his arms. "Our lips touched. And that was already weird enough, now –" The rest of his sentence was lost as Envy grabbed the back of his neck and crashed their lips together.

His first thought was that Envy's lips tasted like candy. His second thought was that he really shouldn't be enjoying this so much.

After a few moments, Envy pulled away. "There. Now _that's _a kiss, Fullmetal."

"Aren't we…" Ed tried to catch his breath. "Aren't we s'posed to hate each other or something?"

Envy thought for a moment. "Hm. Yeah. That poses a problem." He held up the lollipop. "But lollipops solve everything. Now shut up and eat your candy."


	50. Look At Me

**I'd like to thank everybody for the reception this story's been getting. I started this less than two months ago, and I have 50 reviews, incredible pageviews, a recommendation on TV Tropes and, best of all (in my opinion) someone else giving my themes a try! (Eliza Loves Yaoi's Alchemy and Absolution : EdEnvy 100 Themes, go read them!)**

**what-is-the-color-of-love: Darling, Envy's always amazing. And trust me, I know boredom ==; Thanks for reviewing!**

**DemonLordOfTheSurface: Yes, because Envy is the most loved being in the FMA universe. /sarcasm It's true though, lollipops are the answer to everything. Try it and see! Thanks for reviewing~**

**Ashling Ivy: *evil grin* Excellent~ my plan is working! Thanks for reviewing ^w^**

**Eliza Loves Yaoi: Bahaha. And…OH COME ON. ARE YOU SERIOUS? I've written THREE silly stories out of FIFTY chapters and you're complaining because of the four you have up, they're all angst _ Perspective, darling. It makes the world round. Good motto though. (And good memories!) Thanks for reviewing as always ^^**

**Rockmari: D'aww. They can't be the best, surely o_O *blushy-face* Thanks for stopping by, hope to see your reviews on later chapters ^^**

**xxakikoakanexx: I aim to please! Glad you liked it – and my daily record is pretty awesome so far~ Thanks for reviewing! ALSO YOU ARE THE FIFTIETH REVIEWER *confetti***

**AAAAAAAAAAAND back to the angst. First-anime-verse.**

**50. Look At Me**

He tells everybody he's forgotten it.

But he hasn't. He can't. You don't _forget _your own skin. It just becomes…unfamiliar. So unfamiliar after decades on decades on centuries that when you see it in a mirror, you think it's somebody else.

But it's not. It's him. He's just shifted back out of habit, because bad habits are the hardest to break. And he stares into his own eyes, tired and anguished, and despite himself, despite the pain, he smiles. _I missed you, _his reflection says.

"Stop it," he murmurs. "I don't want to fucking look like that _bastard!_"

He doesn't. But he does want to look like himself every now and again – it's a wish he denies, but denial doesn't make anything go away.

There's footsteps at the entryway and Will – Envy! – tries to shift back. He can't quite make himself do it, because in the end he is _vain, _horrifically so, and he knows his chosen form, compared to this, compared to William, is ugly. Bizarre. Freakish.

"Who are you?"

He's not even wearing a military uniform. He's caught. Except nobody but him has seen his form in four hundred years.

"Nobody," he answers, but it's the wrong answer – and in the wrong voice.

"Envy?"

He looks up despite himself, and then looks away again, because it's the pipsqueak. It's Edward Elric.

It's his brother.

"The hell -? Whose form is _that?_" Ed marches towards him, and he starts to step back. The windows are high enough and small enough that they'll be difficult to escape from. And Ed is blocking the doorway.

"Mine," he hisses in return. _Turn back, you fool, change back. The longer he looks, the shorter your lifespan. Change back._

But he can't bring himself to.

"Look at me, Envy."

He does.

Ed inhales sharply. He comes closer to Envy, Envy tries to back away but finds a wall behind him.

"So this is your true form?" Ed's voice is soft. Envy's never heard him soft before.

"The fuck does it matter to you, pipsqueak?"

"It matters when you look like me." Ed's eyes harden slightly. "Explain. Now."

So Envy does, plastering his psycho-smile on and seeing if Ed will squirm when he explains _who _he is and _what _he is.

And he does. He backs away, then sits down hard on the bathroom floor.

"What's the matter, pipsqueak? Gonna scream?"

"I might."

Envy won't admit it, but that kind of hurt.

"I always figured…" Ed covers his face with a hand. "I always figured the bastard had another family somewhere or other, but I just…I guess I didn't really _expect _it, you know?"

"Why aren't you attacking me?" asks Envy hollowly. "You should be getting pissed off and cursing and waving your blade around like the overcompensating shrimp you are."

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING A MINOR LEVEL CRUSTACEAN?"

Envy sinks to the floor, and he and Ed stare at each other for a moment. The rant doesn't count as anger. None of this is anger – it's just plain, destructive curiosity.

"You're my…brother…" says Ed slowly. A stunned smile creeps across his face. "I have another brother."

"_Half-_brother, pint-size," corrects Envy. He's being acknowledged. He's being _acknowledged._

Why is this happening? This wasn't supposed to happen. This wasn't supposed to be how it happened.

"Your hair's the same colour as mine," says Ed, then pulls a face. "Same as _his, _I suppose. Jackass."

"A jackass with pretty hair," adds Envy, and Ed laughs. Envy laughs along with him.

"Man, Al's gonna be so pissed off. His hair – in his actual body, I mean – it's just brown."

"Some people have all the luck," comments Envy drily.

Ed grins. "You have the eyes, too."

"The bastard's Xerxian."

Ed's eyes widen. "Are you _serious?_ We're _Xerxian? _That is so fucking badass!"

"You better believe it, shorty."

"You and Al have the same face, though." Surprised, Envy reaches up and traces his jawline. He's always had a prominent chin and not a lot of baby-fat.

"Really?"

"Yeah. You'd be surprised. You'll see, once he gets his body back."

Envy snorts. "Still harping on that chord, Fullmetal?"

"Always."

Envy falls silent. He stares at the tiles. He'll run away any moment now. But this is a new feeling, a strange feeling, except it's not. It's familiar. He used to be happy, back when he was alive.

"I'm not human. I'm _not _your brother," he spits. "The same way Sloth wasn't your mother."

Ed's face falls.

"I've tried to kill you countless times. I'm a heartless son-of-a-bitch who isn't even human so _why, for the love of god,_" he almost yells, "are you talking like I'm your brother?"

He gets up, coils up in preparation to make his escape, but Ed is somehow faster. Ed wraps his arm around him, squeezes tight and Envy realizes he's not used to holding flesh-and-blood.

"If I didn't believe in second chances," murmurs Ed through the blond hair falling over Envy's – Will's – ear, "I would have died a long time ago."

Will doesn't hug him back. He doesn't walk away. He doesn't say anything. He just stands there, paralyzed.


	51. Battle!

**Eliza Loves Yaoi: Done and done And thank you! Writing in present tense is really fun for stuff like this, and I felt too much background would just get in the way. I'm glad you liked it – thanks for reviewing as always ^^**

**DemonLordOfTheSurface: Well, gorram. I guess it kind of is. I like writing Ed as a sweetie, because that's a side of his character that's really not seen enough. And Envy will come around eventually, he's just not used to hugs, haha. Thanks for reviewing!**

**Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan: I LOVE writing lines like that. I feel all shivery when I write them. And nobody's angry 100% of the time – I wanted to play with that. I'm glad you noticed :D Identity's a huge thing for me, which is one of the reasons I love Envy, so it's brill that you noticed the names thing :D As for Lollipop…that one seems to have a lot of people laughing in inopportune places. Mwahaha XD Thanks for reviewing!**

**This one should be fun for anyone who knows the movie, and educational for anybody who doesn't. My first true AU of the collection (an accomplishment considering my love of them) and a crossover with Repo! The Genetic Opera. I have plans for a longer version, but those are on hold until I finish either SNEA or Hero.**

**I name-dropped as many songs as I could, just because XD And I had some fun with Envy and slang. If you want to visualize his voice, mix his Brotherhood voice with Jayne from Firefly. And hopefully your brain won't explode.**

51. Battle!

His name wasn't Envy, and Greed wasn't _his _name either, but it was as close as it got these days.

"Get the hell off my turf, asshole." The other graverobber had made the first move. _Big _mistake.

Envy crossed his arms, glad for the slight breeze that made his brown longcoat billow out behind him. It was suitably intimidating, and displayed his entire (admittedly small) frame in its _wonderful _outfit.

He sometimes wondered if he and Amber Sweet had been switched at birth.

"I ain't goin' nowhere. Got here first, didn't I?" Envy grinned, showing off his filed teeth. Each of them ended in a wicked point that shone dully in the pale moonlight.

Greed took a step closer. "Yeah, well, this is _mine._"

Envy rolled his eyes, not budging. "If you had your way – _Greed_ – every graveyard in the whole damned city'ud be yours, eh? So shove off and let me make a living." He smiled, perhaps a little too widely, at that last bit.

Greed reached up and tugged down his blood-red sunglasses, giving the smaller man a harsh look. His other hand crept warningly towards his hip. "I don't –" He cut himself off, looking above Envy's head (not that it was hard). "Actually," he amended, "you're right. I'll let you have this one. Tonight."

He turned and walked away.

Envy turned around.

"SHIT!"

The graveyard they'd been squabbling over was now illuminated with blue light, and from his vantage point on top of the mortuary, he could see figures combing through the rows. One turned his head – revealing a gas mask's soulless eyes.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me…" Of all nights, _all _nights, they were having a raid tonight.

He couldn't spend another night without some Zydrate in his pocket. He was _broke, _skint-broke, and he'd already gone three days without food.

_I could jump down there, break one of their necks and get one of their outfits. Blend in. Then…then what? Raids take hours. And I need to get some of the blue before dawn._

"Lost?" came a voice from behind him. He froze, then slowly, agonizingly, turned around.

And behind him on the mortuary roof, there he was. The nightmare of every man, woman and child in America. Legal Assassins, Mad Doctors, Night Surgeons – they had a thousand names, but their real name was the most frightening.

Repo Men.

Envy's hand automatically crept up his chest to clutch at the scarred area where his heart beat fast and strong. "I ain't afraid of you," he said, wincing at the quaver in his voice.

"Okay," replied the Repo Man.

Envy's eyes widened. "Did ya –"

The Repo Man laughed, although the sound was muffled by his mask. "You're not afraid, you're just protecting one of your organs the only way you know how and you're too shocked to make a move."

"Bastard," he hissed.

"Like I haven't heard that before." He cocked his head. "Now, I'm not here for you, _specifically. _So can you save me the trouble, and tell me how behind you are and on what?"

"Go'der hell!"

The Repo Man's shoulders slumped. "Why does no one make it easy for me? It really is a thankless job."

"Ya _tear people's organs out!_"

"Well, yeah." The Repo Man shrugged, and with a flick of his wrist, suddenly he was holding a scalpel. He twirled it nonchalantly in his hand. "Although to be honest it's less of a tear and more of a cut. Now can you do everybody a favour and hold still? It makes an awful mess when you squirm."

Envy merely braced himself, watching the Repo Man carefully. "Yer short, eh? Aren't yeh supposed to be six-foot-six?"

"Don't call me a miniscule undergrown dwarf, you necrophiliac freakazoid!"

He gnawed on the inside of his cheek. There was something very surreal about this entire situation. In fact…He narrowed his eyes. If he was wrong…Well, if he was wrong, he was dead, so it didn't really matter anyway.

He bent his knees, all too aware of the drop behind him. Then, he sprang towards the Repo Man, reaching out his arm and grabbing – not for the scalpel, which curved up towards him – but for the mask that concealed the assassin's face.

Grabbing a handful of shiny plastic, Envy tumbled to the ground, getting a faceful of tin roof for his trouble. "Uck," he muttered, then turned his head. The mask was firmly in his hand, which meant –

He flipped onto his back and jumped to his feet with a grin. "Haha! Son'va bitch, show me ya fuckin' face!"

Slowly, the assassin turned around.

Envy had expected some pimply kid playing a joke on him. The Repo Man didn't hold conversations with his _victims, _ferchrissakes. He came like a breath in the night. You didn't have time to scream. You didn't have time for _banter. _So after the initial fear, he'd expected a prank.

Well, he was a kid, alright. He was younger than Envy was, probably about nineteen or so. But he was no street brat. His hair was a rich golden colour, clean and bright and tied back in a short braid, and his skin was just as sterile, slightly tanned with a red, raw tinge to it. His eyes, however, told the truth of the matter – those eyes had seen blood, and lots of it. They were gold like his hair, but harder than the soft metal could ever be.

"Satisfied?" asked the Repo Man coldly, walking towards Envy with the scalpel gripped in his hand. The playfulness was gone. "Let me guess. You're obviously a graverobber, and the graverobbers are all from the lower classes. The lower classes smoke and drink to excess. You haven't fought back as much as you could have. So you don't want to overexert yourself." He pressed the blade of the scalpel lightly to Envy's heart. "And that's what you were protecting earlier. You're a heart transplant, aren't you?"

"F-fuck you," whispered Envy.

He smiled grimly. "You're the first of my patients to see my face in a long time. Would you like to know my name?"

"Hell na."

"Please. Let me tell you." The voice, though still edged with steel, had a pleading tone to it.

"Fine."

"Edward." The eyes softened slightly, looking up into Envy's purple ones. For a moment, Envy could see how the boy _should _have been.

This boy should not have been a murderer.

The scalpel pressed lightly against his chest, and Envy squeezed his eyes shut with a little gasp as it pierced skin. Then –

"LET GO OF ME! I'm not – I'm not –"

At the heels of the anguished cries from the graveyard below, a tinny voice came from Edward's wrist. "_Medicine required. Medicine required."_

Envy opened his eyes just in time to see the anguished look on Edward's face before he pulled away, letting Envy fall onto the ground, clutching his chest where a few drops of blood were welling up. "I'll get you later, Graverobber." Then he jumped from the roof.

Envy crawled to the edge of the roof, panic making his legs shaky. He saw Edward cross the graveyard at a run – then remembered something.

"OYA!" He didn't stop. "EDWARD!"

Ed slowed, turned around. Envy chucked the mask at him, and with a surprised glance, he put it back on. Ed was gone – the Repo Man was back.

Envy traced his progress across the graveyard, and watched as he picked up a prone figure. It was a boy, a teenager with the same golden hair, but on him it was cropped short. He was thin – even from where he was, Envy could see the bones in his wrist where they poked out from his shirt.

A mook in a gasmask held up his hands in a gesture of surrender, but he collapsed to the ground a moment later when the Repo Man kicked him in the head.

Then Envy put the pieces together. They'd gassed the kid. The kid who looked just like Edward.

_It's a thankless job._

"Fuckin' hell, pipsqueak. Just when I think I've figgered out this gorram city."


	52. War

**Straykit: Mhm! I was playing with a couple different configurations but I like this one the best And I do want to do a longer version, but like I said I need to finish what I've started first XD Glad you liked it ^^ Thanks for reviewing!**

**The Blood Red Moon: Oh good, I haven't lost you XD Thanks for sticking with me, I don't plan to stop any time soon!**

**Fairyboydammit: I'm glad you like it ^^ Thanks for reviewing!**

**Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan: You should see it, it's a horror rock opera starring Alexa Vega, Anthony Stewart Head, Paris Hilton (in her one decent role) and Sarah Brightman :D Good thing you understood what was going on anyway, though. AUs are some of my favourites ^^ Thanks for reviewing as always~**

**I've always wanted to do this kind of fic – it's been done quite a few times, but I thought adding Envy to the mix would change things up a bit.**

**Brotherhood-verse.**

52. War

The days follow a sort of routine, out here on the empty Cretan frontier. Ed can't quite call it structure, because that implies sanity – sense – order. But there's no denying that there's a kind of schedule.

He wakes up at six, alone. He wanders over to his commanding officer's tent and wakes him up, unless he's already awake, or didn't sleep. The second is far more likely, because Roy Mustang promised that this would never happen again.

In Roy Mustang's tent, he brews the two of them some terrible coffee, and more often than not, persuades Mustang – just one more day, and then you can run off and do whatever. Just this one last day. For me. Please.

Mustang will try to get him to stay, try to convince him to sleep with him, and Ed will refuse as he always does. Mustang doesn't need something else on his guilty conscience, and despite feeling a hundred years old, he's not even seventeen yet.

By six thirty, breakfast is served. Something meagre and dry – cereal sometimes, or eggs, or tasteless protein bars. By six forty five they're gathering in their platoons, ready to march out against the Cretans.

Mustang tried to exempt Ed. _He's too young. He's too inexperienced. He can't even fire a gun._

He had been denied. _He's plenty old enough. And he has his alchemy._

So Ed claps his hands and impales ten soldiers at a time on spikes of stone, or flattens them into indistinguishable smears of blood with land that comes up to crush them, or simply tears them apart with Scar's deconstruction. He creates cannons for the artillery-men to fire, and walls for them to hide behind.

Mustang tells him it's not as dry out here as it was in Ishbal. It rains sometimes, but nothing more than a light drizzle that turns the sand beneath their feet solid and damp.

Ed kills perhaps three hundred men a day.

The night falls. Hostilities cease. The soldiers gather their dead, the snipers switch their shifts, and Ed eats a handful of jerky, forcing it down his dry throat and into his empty stomach.

Al is at home, in Rizenbul, safe with Winry and Pinako. Thank God for small mercies. It's not like there's anything else to thank Him for.

Mustang intercepts him one more time, asking if he's really comfortable having a tent to himself. Ed says yes, obviously. He wonders if Mustang is a closet pervert or just desperate for somebody to break his loneliness, his depressive streak.

And besides, he's _not _alone in his tent.

Envy sits crosslegged on his bedroll, purple eyes mocking and hateful. "So how many people did you kill today, Fullmetal? A hundred? Two hundred? It's amazing what alchemy can do in a situation like this."

Ed sits down across from him, picks up a book, flicks through it without really looking at the words.

"I wonder how many of those soldiers had brothers, Fullmetal? Or how about mothers?" Envy cocks his head. "Maybe some of them were fathers. Maybe there's another little girl who's gonna wondering why they're burying Daddy and it's gonna be your fault."

Ed's hands start to shake. The book falls from his hands.

"So much for the _Hero of the People,_" spits Envy. "You'll do anything to restore your brother to his body but you won't do a thing for those soldiers."

Finally, from between Ed's lips, no matter how tightly he presses them together, comes a strangled sob. He covers his mouth, and then his face. Another sob comes, then he is crying.

Envy, his first role fulfilled, takes Ed's hands and pulls them away. He lowers Ed's head onto his shoulder. He lets the boy cry. He doesn't cry, but he's beginning to understand the human need for release – to be pushed past the brink instead of lingering at the edge between breakdown and sanity.

You can only crawl back over the edge once you've crossed it.

Once Ed's sobs have quieted down into sniffs – an hour or more into the night – Envy pushes him down onto the bedroll. He kisses him roughly (gentleness is not what a soldier needs) and slides his hands up his shirt.

"Quiet now, Ed," he murmurs, using the boy's name in a rare moment. He never did before this. "Quiet now."

Ed's tears remain, streaked across his face, but his cries give way to moans of guilty pleasure muffled by Envy's pale hand across his mouth. He can probably still be heard, but Edward isn't the only one to take comfort in the arms of another man during wartime. It's a common phenomenon, although there's nothing common about the Fullmetal Alchemist.

Finally, Envy has tired him out enough that he can sleep. He does, and Envy lies next to him for a while, wondering how his duty – protect the sacrifice – became so interesting.

Was the Ishbal conflict like this? The one he started, the one he revelled in?

Envy has to believe that it wasn't. Otherwise he might begin to feel guilty, and Father wouldn't stand for it.

Although, he has to remember – force himself to remember – no, forget, it is easier, don't torture yourself, don't make it harder –

this war was begun by Pride. A simple faked kidnapping. That's all it took.

Envy lays a kiss on Ed's cheek, ignoring the part at him screaming that he shouldn't be enjoying his duty of keeping the sacrifice sane so much. "I'm sorry," he whispers, before he slides off into the night.

Ed wakes up at six, alone. (And it all begins again.)


	53. Flickering

**Past EdxWin, Brotherhood/manga with a tiny divergence. Also, AlxMei.**

**I'M SO SORRY I MISSED AN UPDATE D: Sadly, daily updates are going to become a thing of a past soon – I'm going on vacation somewhere with no internet access. However, I'll be writing lots, so don't worry about that part of it ^^ That, and my muse is starting to struggle with the 'oneshot every day' thing. I had an idea for this one, then I scrapped it and started again, and then I had to squeeze it out a word at a time, and then it took like two days to write and bahhh.**

**I know I should really be putting this on the story the poll actually *relates* to, but I forgot, so whatever. There's a poll on my profile about Seven Names of Envy Angevin, so if you're a reader/follower of that story, you should go vote! (And if you already have, go check – I change it quite frequently :P)**

**What-is-the-color-of-love: Yes…sweet…that's the word…XD Thanks anyway, haha, I'm glad you liked it.**

**Fairyboydammit: :D Yay! I hoped this was a good one, I thought at least the premise had a bit more originality ^^ Thanks for reading and reviewing as always, you're always so kind 3**

**Rockmari: Bah, who needs sleep :P And it's alright, you don't need to review every chapter! Unless…you know…you really, really want to…XD Thanks for the comment! See you next chapter~**

53. Flickering

At first, Ed thought he was dreaming when the light came flickering through the sky, beckoning him home. The windows of the Rockbell home had been dark for a long, long time – and it had ceased to be the Rockbell home long before that.

But nobody else flashed the lantern like that to beckon him home.

He broke into a run, boots smacking the dusty ground as he charged up the hill and right up to the house. For a moment, he considered knocking, and then shook his head with a little laugh.

"Nobody lives here now."

He pushed experimentally at the door. It opened easily, and the scent of something freshly-baked drifted through the crack instead of the stale smell of a closed house.

Somebody was whistling – an old tune, something from 1912 or 1913. Ed vaguely recalled the title… 'When You Were Sweet Sixteen'.

He opened the door the rest of the way and stepped inside. The kitchen light was on. He walked towards it and stopped abruptly as he felt the heat rolling off the stove – it was on.

"Jesus."

Ed grabbed a tea towel and opened the door of the oven, peeking inside. "Apple pie?" he asked incredulously, slamming it shut peevishly.

"Made it fresh," came a light voice.

He turned around to face the girl on the stairs. She was wearing a pink dress with slightly puffed sleeves, a stark white apron tied around her waist and a beaming smile on her face. Her blonde hair fell loose around her shoulders, and in one hand she held a lantern.

Ed chuckled. "Pretty good."

Winry frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, if I was Al or Mei, I might have believed it." He crossed his arms across his broad chest. "First off, you're _way _too clean. No grease, no mess from making the apple pie, nothing. Squeaky clean."

Winry sighed, abandoning her dainty posture to place her hand on her hip in an indignant pose. "What_ever. _That can't be all that tipped you off."

"Well, you've got it now, but you were being too nice. No wrenches meeting heads, no 'Where have you been, you stupid boy?'"

Winry snorted. "Weird-ass marriage."

Ed's chuckle dropped into a hard look. "Of course, the big give-away might have been the fact that my wife has been dead for ten years."

'Winry' chuckled darkly. "Yeah, I heard. Died pushing out the third kid, right?"

"Change out of that shape…Envy."

Winry shrugged, grinning and baring sharp teeth that didn't belong in her mouth. "I don't feel like it. Besides, I made pie, don't you wanna try some?"

Ed crossed his arms. "How'd you even know I was going to be here?"

She – he – shrugged. "Asked around. Heard you came around here every now and again to go visit your two ladies." He blew a raspberry. "Didn't expect you to take so _long _though."

"You aren't known for your incredible planning skills."

"Shut up, Fullmetal," snapped the homunculus, the harsh look frighteningly out of place on Winry's soft face. She was still young in this shape, in contrast to the grizzled lines of the man across from her who was rapidly approaching middle age.

"I haven't worn that name in years. Where'd you disappear to anyway? Mei swore up and down she killed you before coming back to Central."

Envy scowled. "Hardly. She buried me in the sand, said she'd 'come back for me later'. Almost twenty years in a goddamn glass jar, pipsqueak." His lip lifted in a sneer as his eyes flashed. "I want revenge."

"On me?"

"On _her! _I'd rather she killed me!" The handle of the lantern shattered in Envy's grip, and he brought his fist forward as it fell down the stairs to land at Ed's feet. "I'm going to find that damn bean-girl and see how she likes it! Or maybe I'll just kill her quickly, I'm kind of lacking on patience!"

As he spoke, Ed bent down on one knee and righted the lantern, sweeping the broken glass inside of it.

"…and she…she…" Envy narrowed his eyes. "Hold on. Why didn't you just…you know…" He made a clapping gesture. "Alchemize it?"

"I can't."

"Why the hell not?"

Ed smiled wryly. "Well, now I know you're telling the truth about being in a jar. I lost my alchemy."

Envy blinked. "That's _possible?_" he asked, sounding achingly like Winry for a moment.

"Yes. Now, back on topic. What do you want from me – and why," he asked, trying not to sound too pained, "are you wearing my dead wife's shape to do it?"

"Pff. It's simple. I'm looking for the bean girl. I assume you know where she is."

"Wouldn't tell you if I did."

"Shut up and let me finish, beansprout!" snapped Envy, walking towards Ed and poking him violently in the chest. "Let me know where the bean girl is so I can get my vengeance and you get your wife back for a bit."

"Wh…_What?_"

"You heard me." Envy flicked Ed's chin. "I can take her shape, you can get some more time with your precious Winry. Isn't that what you want?"

"HELL NO!" Ed pushed him away roughly. "I don't – what is wrong with you?" he asked, calm façade finally snapping. "She _died, _you sick son of a bitch, the last thing I need is a bastard like you pushing it in my face every day! And to sell Mei out for that –"

"Daddy!"

Ed's eyes snapped to the top of the stairwell. A little girl in a pair of flannel pants and a gray t-shirt was standing there with a huge grin on her face and a teddy in her arms. She was small, with light brown hair that curled into a bird's nest around her face and golden eyes that matched her father's.

"Oh, Daddy, you're here!" She leapt down the stairs two at a time, jumping into Ed's arms and nearly knocking him over.

"Nina," he gasped, nearly choking on the name. "What are…how…" He glared up at Envy.

"She's a precocious little thing," replied Envy, voice returning to a light and lilting tone.

"You – you son of a –" He was shaking now – because Envy didn't just want his sister-in-law, he was after his _children, _he –

"Can I go see Mummy and Grandmummy now, Daddy?" asked Nina unexpectedly.

Envy smiled wryly at Ed's confused expression. "I wasn't _expecting _her. She just showed up about an hour before you did. Somehow got the idea that she was going to come with you."

"Nina – you –" He picked her up in his arms. "Do you have any idea," he said in a relieved tone, "how much _trouble you're in?_"

She grinned toothily. "A little bit. Maes n' Sarah were busy though."

"Busy? What with?"

"Well," she cradled her face in one hand, "Maes is always spendin' time with stupid old Mustang, and Sarah kept going to restaurants and stuff with Alastair."

"Well, I bet 'stupid old Mustang' is worried _senseless. _Come on, we'd better call him and let him know you're with me." Ed poked her teddy bear. "Where'd you get this guy?"

Nina pointed at Envy. "The nice lady gave her to me!" She hugged the teddy. "I'm callin' him Arnold."

"The, uh, the nice lady, huh?" Ed glanced warily up at Envy, whose face was unreadable. "What's her name?"

Nina shrugged. "Dunno. She says to call her Mummy, but that can't be right. I don't have a mummy. Not anymore."

Ed was silent for a moment. "Nina, can you give the nice lady and I a moment."

"Okay!" chirped the ten-year-old, skipping off into the next room.

"What the hell is your game, Envy?" hissed the older man. Envy looked away petulantly.

"Whaddaya mean, what's my game? Kid shows up, I'm nice to her."

"You're not nice to _anybody._"

"Says who?"

"Says your mind-bogglingly high kill count."

Envy huffed. "Oh sure, hold that against me."

"What am I supposed to think when you're buying my _daughter _a _teddy bear?_"

He shrugged. "I didn't buy it, ya know."

"Okay, stole. Whatever." Ed grabbed Envy's neck and slammed him against the wall, bringing their faces close. "This isn't about Mei, is it?" he growled. "This is about messing with _me, _me and my family."

"Somebody's self-centered." Ed's grip tightened warningly, and Envy rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine. No. I don't actually give a shit about the bean-girl. I didn't get _killed, _that's a bonus in my eyes."

"Now you're sounding more like yourself. _Stay the hell away from my children._"

"Why?" asked Envy baldly. Ed froze.

"Why?" he echoed. "_Why? _I'm asking the centuries-old psychopath to stay away from my ten-year-old child and you're asking me _why?_ Okay, I'll ask you the same question. Why are you so damn interested in her?"

Envy's eyes flashed, momentarily turning their usual purple before fading back to Winry's blue. It ached to stare into those eyes – familiar and strange all at the same time.

"You really want to know the answer to that?"

"Yeah, I do. Would I have asked if I didn't?" Still, Ed began to dread what his answer was going to be.

The blue eyes softened, and a hint of a smile played around her – his – lips. "Because she's nice."

Ed's arm dropped. "What?"

Envy ignored him, pushing past. "Nina, love, it's okay now."

"Alright! Come on, Arnold, let's go talk to the nice lady and Daddy."

"Wait!" said Ed suddenly, and Winry – _Envy, _dammit – turned back to him. "Please. Just…not like that. Not…Not that shape." His voice filled with pain. "It's not fair. To any of us."

Envy blinked, and then shrugged. "Whatever you say, pipsqueak." Right in front of Nina's eyes, he shifted, changing from blonde to green, voluptuous to sinewy, pink to black, blue to purple. Nina didn't bat an eye.

Envy picked up the phone – why it still worked, Ed didn't know – and began to dial a number. "Hey, yo. I'm calling about Nina…Yeah, she's fine. Decided to follow her dad out to Rizenbul." He ruffled her hair as he said this.

Ed sat down on the lowest stair and cradled his head in his hands. Somehow he didn't know whether he was a hostage or not.

"Alright. Yeah, we'll be back by tomorrow evening." Ed looked up at the 'click' to see Envy hoisting a sleepy Nina up onto his back. "Well, we'd better get going. There's probably one train left going back to Central."

"Wait – you're not – you're not coming with us!"

Envy sighed. "Course I am."

"Hell no."

"Idiot. Where else am I gonna go?"

When Ed couldn't find an answer, he satisfied himself with marching sullenly out of the door. Envy followed him, smirking slightly.

He'd come around – eventually.


	54. Ink

**I was kind of super stuck for this one so it's really silly.**

**Rockmari: Mhm! Not that he's eager to admit it ==; Thanks for reading :3**

**Ashling Ivy: Heehee. Glad you like it ^^ If peeps really like that one I think I will do a longer version…Thanks for reading my stuffs as always~ (and go to bed, gawd)**

**What-is-the-color-of-love: I guess it is a bit. To run it down: Ed was in Rizenbul to visit Trisha and Winry (their graves) and saw the lamp flashing to call him home like both Trisha and Winry used to do. Envy is in Winry's shape and is trying to get revenge on Mei. Nina (Ed's daughter) shows up because she followed Ed from Central. Ed realizes that Envy doesn't actually care about Mei, and figures out that Envy's just interested in his daughter (in the parental way). That's the basics ^^**

54. Ink

Envy was getting really, _really _bored of fighting the shrimp. He wasn't allowed to kill him. Okay, he could live with that.

But did the idiot have to pick a fight with him _every _time?

With a groan, he ducked yet another swing. He really, really hated fighting. It was just a good thing he was so _good _at it.

"Seriously, do you have to make such a spectacle of your…self…" He trailed off as he noticed something. Something oddly out of place, yet somehow suiting. Something – dare he say it – extremely _adorable._

Ed had clearly either fallen asleep while writing or something of the sort, because there was a conspicuous blob of ink smeared on the side of his nose.

Envy bit his lip trying not to smile, and as a result nearly got slashed by Ed's blade. Ducking under it, he popped up right next to the blond's face.

"Hey shrimpy, you've got a little something right…here…" He leant in with a grin.

Ed stared at him with a dumbfounded look. "Wuh?"

"You've got ink on your nose."

Much to Envy's eternal amusement, Ed's hand – flesh, luckily – flew up to his nose. "I do not!"

Envy reached forward and rubbed at the stain, and then held up his fingers, showing off the smear of blue. "Yeah. You do." A second later, he hooked his foot behind the teen's ankles and tripped him, sending him crashing to the floor. "Also, you're an idiot."

He stepped over the groaning alchemist and sat on the windowsill. "One. Stop picking fights with me. Two. Stop trying to stop Father's plans, you're making a nuisance of yourself. And three…stop falling asleep while you're writing. It makes you look like a bigger nerd than you _already _are."

Ed's only response was to blow a raspberry.


	55. First Fruits of the Season

**I love present tense. It's so pretty. This is probably Brotherhood.**

**Trying to keep with daily updates while I can, but don't depend on it :P My vaca starts August 4th, so I'll try to update til then.**

**DemonLordoftheSurface: Well, Envy's hardly mature for his age either XD Hence why I love writing them. They're such brats. And you know which face he does, too! You know EXACTLY which one! With the antenna and the perfectly round face and the cartoonyness and the…yeah. XD Thanks for reviewing and hopefully understanding my temporary insanity. (There goes my rep as the mature sensible Edvy writer ==;)**

**rockmari: I didn't really see any way to make it longer, glad you liked it though ^^ Every now and again I want to do something silly/cute. **

**Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan: Hehe. I enjoy writing Ed as a brat. He and Envy are like an old married couple.**

** Chapter 53: (the fact that I am writing that is mindboggling) This one ended up kind of disjointed and weird, sorry. I'm probably going to go back and rewrite it one day. The teddy bear XD Although, imagine if you were in Ed's position. Jeezus.**

**Ashling Ivy: This would TOTALLY happen. At least in part. You know it. ^w^**

**what-is-the-color-of-love: Envy's condescension is cute as a button, but Ed's rudeness is even better, haha. Danke liebe to you too ^^**

**Thanks all for reading and reviewing! ^^ (And yes. I'm being lazy. I felt like I was getting redundant, so sue me! XD)**

55. First Fruits of the Season

White. Nothing but the cold and the white and a leering face. It's all I can see, all I can feel.

_Let me go_, I demand, and it shakes his head. It – the Truth. The being I thought I'd finally rid myself of forever.

_I can't, _it replies blandly.

_Why not?_

_ I just can't._

I roll my eyes and glare at it. _What the hell is it with you and your cryptic answers? I satisfied your equivalent exchange, I got nothing to take back from you, so why the hell am I back at the Gate?_

_ You're not._

I pause at that. _Well, what the hell do you call this place then? _I can _see _the damn Gate, standing monolithic behind him but stubbornly closed.

The white, featureless figure shrugs. _I don't know. _And suddenly I realize that he _is _telling the truth, that he _isn't _Truth, because Truth knows everything.

_Al needs me, _I say.

_Really._

I'm silent for a moment, and then, _I need him._

_Ugh, this old song-and-dance again? I'm so tired of hearing this same old nut._

_ Oh yeah? I thought you weren't Truth!_

_ I'm **not.**_

__Suddenly, there's something pressing against my lips. I don't see or taste anything, it's just there.

_What's that? _I ask Not-Truth.

_It's a strawberry._

_ A strawberry?_

It nods, but I'm still confused. There's whispers, but I don't understand them. If I'm not at the Gate, they're not the Children, so…

"Can you hear me?" It's so quiet I can barely catch it, but it's Al's voice and my heart jumps at how _real _it sounds. There's no echo to it. "Brother, please…wake up…"

Wake up?

I'm…dreaming?

I try to dredge up my last memory. I dragged Al back from the Gate – the _actual _Gate. I took him to the hospital. I think I collapsed there. Have I not woken up since then.

"Ed, you idiot."

It's not Al's voice. It's a voice with an gravelly edge to it.

_Envy? _You've got to be kidding me. Envy, of all people?

At the same time, it gives me comfort that even he is waiting for me. I'm not sure why. Still, there's no way out.

A scent comes to me – the scent of strawberries, and raspberries, and other fresh fruit. It's subtle, lingering.

"Edward!"

And suddenly – with a thunder-crash and a lightning-strike, and static crawling up and down my skin – suddenly, there's hands gripping my arms and nails digging into my skin, and there's lips over mine and a tongue in my mouth curled around mine, and there's a taste that's everything the Gate is not – it's cardamom and cinnamon and a little bit of iron, it's the taste of _Envy, _and curled around it all is the taste of the first fruits of the season.

I'm not just awake.

I'm _alive._


	56. Fire

**Uh. I apologize for this. It was kind of painful to write ;_; I watched the scene over and over again to make sure I got it right! Owwww my feels TwT**

**Also, literal interpretation of theme. Bah. I have too many themes that cover the same concept (fire, heat, burning, warmth) but I guess it's about nuance. /bullshitting**

**Rockmari: Sadly cute is the best kind Thank you very much, I will!**

**Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan: AGH I should have done that instead. But I'm glad you liked it anyway. I've been pretty badly blocked for the last few, hopefully this one's a bit better. **

**What-is-the-color-of-love: I suppose it is a bit. Does your mum ship Edvy too? Haha. **

**As always, thanks to everybody for reading and reviewing Also, exciting news! We've got TWO new theme collections – one is still having some technical difficulties, but the other is Darkness and Daylight: 100 Theme of Ed and Envy by Rowana Renee. The first theme is EXCELLENT. This collection is non-yaoi, but still awesome. So go read it! If you're interested in doing a 100 Themes or taking part in the discussion about the various theme collections, we have a thread on the Fully Combustive Material for the Fanfic Author! forum (handily linked to in my profile) which also contains all 100 of the themes.**

56. Fire

He was so, _so _small, wriggling under Mustang's boot like a worm. So fragile.

"Envy, your name means 'jealous', right? That makes sense."

"No…" The tiny, almost inaudible squeal, paired with how Mustang's hand made a claw, almost made Ed feel bad for the homunculus.

_Almost._

_ "Don't!_" squealed Envy again.

"And jealousy," continued Mustang, his eyes gleaming with a dark light, "is an ugly thing."

Ed could attest to that. He was jealous of Mustang this very moment – for getting to be the one to hold Envy completely in his power, to be the one to exact his revenge for the death of Maes Hughes.

"No, I don't want to die!"

_Too bad, _hissed Ed's inner voice, and he hushed it with a guilty sense of shock. He shouldn't be enjoying this quite so much.

But…Hughes had been the closest thing he'd _ever _had to a father. He'd met Hohenheim, his real dad, for the first time since he was three and wished he was more like Hughes.

Envy deserved everything he got.

Mustang – Roy – raised his hand, ready to deliver Envy into the hands of fate…and Hawkeye got to her feet and pointed her gun at his head.

"What do you think you're doing, Lieutenant?"

"That's enough, Colonel. I will deal with him from here."

_No! _screeched Ed's inner voice. _No, let him burn! Let him fucking burn! _He turned his head away, trying to suppress it. He was _better _than this (no he wasn't).

"One more blast will finish him. Put down your gun." Roy's voice was surprisingly calm. He screamed with the shadows in his eyes and the electricity crackling in his fingers, waiting to be released as flame.

"I cannot obey that order, sir."

_Why the hell not? Wasn't Maes your friend too? _Ed swallowed. He hadn't cried when he found out about Hughes. He hadn't mourned at all. Hadn't had time. He didn't do things like that. But now he wished he did, because maybe it wouldn't be fogging his judgment at times like this –

-and if he, someone who, when you got to the heart of the matter, had barely known the man, felt like this, then Mustang…

He couldn't bring himself to feel any sympathy for Envy. Not now.

"Please put your hand down."

"Stop screwing around! I said put it down!" The tenseness in Mustang's face was starting to crack, lines deepening and making him look ten years older. He didn't look…_right._

But he hadn't been right since Hughes had died. And this was the only way he was going to get better.

Right?

With a start, Ed realized Mustang was a second away from accidentally setting Hawkeye alight. Without hesitation, he clapped his hands together and pressed them to the floor, sending a directed ripple through the earth and sending Hawkeye to the ground.

Before she could get to her feet, Ed had grabbed her arm, pulling her away.

"No! Let me go – Edward, let go of me!"

He didn't, looking over his shoulder grimly as Mustang moved his boot slightly. Envy scrabbled even more helplessly at the floor, turning his huge eyes up at Ed.

"Fullmetal! Don't let him – I don't wanna _die!_" For a moment, he sounded like a lost child. "I'll do anything – I'll help you – just, just _stop it stop it stop it!_"

In a momentof horror, Ed's dark desire for revenge vanished as the bottom of his stomach dropped. _Envy was crying. _Those were tears – real tears – welling up in his grotesquely large eyes and rolling down the misshapen, vaguely insectoid face. That was _real _fear in his voice.

Ed looked up, past Mustang to where the Ishbalan man was still standing. The one who had been consumed by revenge. He had said nothing. He had done nothing. The look on his face said everything.

"Wait, Colonel -!"

_Snap._

Ed clapped his hands to his ears in an attempt to block out Envy's screams, but they lingered on long after the homunculus himself had turned to dust.

_He was helpless._

A few moments later, the Colonel passed by him. The lines in his face hadn't smoothed. He looked no more at peace than before. He looked worse. "Pull yourself together, Fullmetal."

Ed didn't respond at first, but after Mustang had taken a few steps down the hall, he turned on his heel. "Is that the face you plan to wear when you're the nation's top man?" he yelled, his composure cracking.

Mustang turned slightly back to him, eyes blacker than black. "Is that the face you plan to wear to bring your brother back?"

Ed had no answer. Instead, he rubbed feverishly at his eyes.

They were burning in his sockets.


	57. Ice

**Yes, this is the same plot as 'Drowning'. Shaddup. It's more depressing.**

**Brotherhood.**

**Straykit: Heehee. Sorry for the angsting. It's what I'm best at X) Happy you liked it, even in the sad-and-angry way.**

**Guest (what-is-the-colour-of-love): Now, be nice. Just because EdWin isn't as awesome as some people think it is doesn't mean there's no man for Winry. I really can't see her with a woman, honestly :P Paninya, absolutely – Riza, depending on the woman – Izumi, in her younger days, hell yes – Olivier, ARE YOU KIDDING ME ABSOFREAKINGLUTELY – but not Winry. And the question was actually the first part that came into my head when I had this idea, so I'm glad you liked it :D**

**Rowana Renee: have to admit, I have no idea what Mellon Nin means, but I'm glad you like the first two themes 3 I'll be honest, I was just word-vomiting with the first one so I'm surprised it turned out so well, happy the second made you laugh though ^^ (And you totes won't even get this until you get to this chapter…LOL)**

**Thanks to everybody for reading and reviewing, and for making this story so popular~ (Well. Ish.) I'll try to get at least one more up before my vacation, but no promises!**

**57. Ice**

"You're going to die here."

Ed glanced up, wincing as the pellets of snow whipped at his face. "Shu…shut up," he growled. Somehow his lips were still moving, but they were sore and stiff, just like the rest of him. He couldn't move his automail arm at all. Chances were the flesh it connected to was completely dead. "I'm…not s'posed-ter…die yet."

Envy grinned, every tooth visible and shining just as pearly white as the bleak landscape he perched on. He didn't seem to feel the cold at all. "Well too bad for you, pipsqueak. We found some new sacrifices. Some blind guy and a small-town hoke. And _you_ know too much."

Ed tried to push at the ground, to haul himself out of the crust of ice, but his arm just collapsed into the snow. He was so cold.

"Bastard…"

Envy patted Ed on the head. "That's how to do it. Struggle more, it'll get your body heat." He shrugged. "Or you'll die faster. I dunno."

Another desperate attempt. His legs were completely immobile, buried in the snow.

Envy frowned. "Why are you still fighting? You know it's already hopeless."

"Because…" Ed's voice was descending further and further into barely-intelligible mumbling. "Fuck it, not lettin' you win…" He murmured something else, but his lips were turning blue.

Envy leant over, careful to keep his balance on the rock that still poked out of the snow. "What's that you're saying, pipsqueak?"

"I said…" Taking a deep breath, Ed pulled his flesh arm out of the snow enough to strike the homunculus in the stomach. It wasn't much, hardly enough to even count as a punch, especially by his usual standards, but especially in the winds of the dying blizzard, Envy's balance was disrupted. After flailing his arms helplessly for a moment, Envy landed in the snowbank on Ed's other side. Some of the snow was dislodged, covering even more of his small frame.

"Don't…under'stimate me, bastard."

Envy pulled his face out of the snow with a gasp. "That was not _fair!_"

"Neither was…luring me out here…"

Envy scowled and got to his feet – only to scream as the crust underneath him gave way, plunging him deep into the snow. Even more of the bank gave way, cascading down onto Edward.

Ed sighed. He'd stopped trembling. He was just about dead, then. He cast another look over at where Envy had been. The homunculus was heavy – too heavy for the snow to support him for long. He'd probably crawl out after a while, but not after learning a lesson.

Maybe.

Ed didn't know.

He closed his eyes. _Sorry, Al. Did my best. Wasn't good enough._

_ Cold._

_ So cold._

They never found his body.


	58. Prayer

**(I was going to update this at the same time as Seven Names, like three-four days ago, and then I forgot! I'm so sorry! I'm going to put up like three today to make up for my week-long absence, and because I have three to put up. Ha.)**

**I used Christianity because Hiromu Arakawa said somewhere that it was prominent in Amestris until the onset of alchemy. That, and it's what I'm the most familiar with aside from Wicca. If you're uncomfortable with religion or you think you might be offended, I'd give this one a miss :P**

**Rockmari: Mwahaha. The tears, they are my lifeblood XD I'm glad you liked it~ (And trust me, you wouldn't be saying that if I'd left some of my old fics up -_-)**

**Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan: Teehee. Good to see that pair had the desired effect :D (And I remember now! Been too long since I watched the movies OR read the books _ This is why I post review replies publicly, thank you ^^) **

**Rowana Renee: Eyes: Pride!Ed is a character from the fanmade video game Bluebird's Illusion. I've never played it – few people have, because it's really rare – but it's quite renowned for its artwork and for turning Ed into a homunculus at the end. Most people use Pride when they turn Ed into a homunculus now because of this game – look up the character design, it's pretty incredible. Scream:**** Bahaha. Fangirl. You should try drawing it~**

**What-is-the-colour-of-love: *blink blink blink* you alright? XD Man, I can only imagine how you must have reacted to episode 50 of the 2003 anime XD **

58. Prayer

"I find it strange that a creature like you should find comfort in fables."

Envy opened one eye to glare peevishly up at the intruder. Ed had mumbled his statement quietly in an attempt at reverence, but the words ruined any goodwill the low voice had bought him. "And I find it strange that you're in here in the first place. Piss off."

Ed, however, didn't leave as Envy had so politely requested. Instead, he looked around the interior of the church. "I didn't know this was even here."

"The locals probably kept it a secret so you wouldn't barge in here and demand that it be shut down for offending your scientific sensibilities."

"I wouldn't do that!" He actually looked indignant, noted Envy wryly.

"Didn't you already? In Lior?"

Ed snorted. "That was _different._"

"Of course."

"He was trying to turn them into an army!"

"And you obviously knew that right away." Envy sighed. "Now get lost."

Instead, Ed slid into the pew next to the homunculus, looking up at the domed ceiling. "So what is it?"

Envy tried to ignore him, but apparently he'd also been given the sin of curiosity. "What?"

"That brings you here. I mean, you don't seem like the type."

"What, a "creature like me"?" Envy made air-quotes with his fingers, sneering rather unpleasantly. Ed winced.

"Well…I mean…an artificial human. You're nothing _but _science. You're made through alchemy." Ed blinked owlishly, and then shrugged. "Just seems weird to me to be in a place that's all about worshipping what can't be proved."

"Think again, pipsqueak." Envy leant back. This place calmed him, and besides, he had enough respect not to punch the idiot in the face in a church. Barely enough, but it was there. "You called it 'fables', right?"

"Yeah."

"First time you saw us, you said we were nothing but myths." His mouth curved up in a smirk. "If homunculi can be real, half-complete transmutations of the dead, what's so far-fetched about a God?"

Ed opened his mouth to respond, but Envy continued. "Hell, look at this Messiah guy. He came back from the dead. Maybe he was a homunculus. Wouldn't that be a kicker?"

He glanced at Ed. He seemed well and truly speechless now. However, a moment later, the blonde smirked. "Well, well. You're capable of intelligent thought after all. I never knew."

"You're a brat."

"And you're an asshole. So we're even."

"And you, pipsqueak? I thought you were the most loudmouthed atheist ever to walk the surface of the earth."

Ed snorted. "What, I'm not allowed to walk into a church if I feel like it?"

"No," he responded bluntly.

"Well, _fine, _I'll _leave _then, if it _offends _you so much," he snapped, jumping to his feet and making as if to leave. Envy rolled his eyes. Fullmetal was such a _child._

However, Ed stopped, paused and glanced down at the ground before looking back at him. There was a new light in his eyes, something Envy hadn't ever seen directed at him. It was strange what a different location did to interactions, especially one like this. "I was…I was praying," he mumbled, flushing embarrassedly. "Or I was going to."

"Praying? What's the good of that if you don't believe?"

"I don't believe, I hope." Ed shook his head awkwardly, trying to stop blushing. "You're not gonna use this against me, right?"

"I wouldn't bet on it. I'm not exactly a good Christian." There was a beat of silence. "Listen. This thing you and your brother are trying to do is really, really fucking stupid."

"Swearing in a church?"

"Shut up. You're gonna get yourself killed, or at least fucked up even worse than before. But I guess it's what ya got."

Ed cocked an eyebrow. "So what are you saying?"

"What I'm saying is good luck – as long as it doesn't interfere with _our _plans."

The blond grinned. "We'll see about that."

He left, and Envy leant back, looking up at the crucifix on the wall. It was strange, seeing the church so empty. In the early days of his life and unlife, Christianity had been the expected norm – but he supposed things changed after four hundred-odd years.

Suddenly, he grinned.

Two brothers talking of goodwill and peace in a place of the Lord?

It even _sounded_ like a Bible story.


	59. Quiet

**Shade40: Ooh, hello! Don't worry, I get the 'I-don't-ship-Edvy-but-I'm-reading-this-anyway' a surprising amount. And thank you very much I'm definitely pushing myself with these themes, and part of that is trying to get away from the heavy romance. It's good to see that that's working at least in part.**

**I've never understood how some people will insist on one series to the exclusion of the other. We're lucky enough to have more than one 'truth', and that gives us writers a lot more room to play As far as canon goes, I mostly end up with a scene or idea and play with events until it makes sense. 'Flickering' is a good example of that.**

**Thank you so much for reviewing! I'm so happy to hear that people are enjoying even some of these stories – and trust me, I know they're not all good. I've got a couple earmarked to rewrite once I'm done all hundred themes. I hope there's more for you to enjoy as I keep writing. *scribble scribble scribble***

**Clearly, this is an AU of sorts. Just wanted to make that obvious. **

**59. Quiet**

Everything was quiet at the end of the world.

The cars were silent, stopped dead with nobody left to drive them. There were no crowds to murmur and shout. There were no shots sounding at the firing range, and no children screaming and laughing at the playgrounds or schools.

Envy stood atop Central Headquarters, trying to imagine an eternity in an abandoned city. It was peaceful, yes, but it was _wrong._

"Envy." The voice struck through the silence like a bullet, a steel scream piercing into his brain. He turned. Lust stood there, arms crossed over her chest.

"Yeah?" His voice, in contrast, was hardly louder than a whisper.

"Father wants us. It's time for us to receive our share of the souls." She licked her lips.

More souls, more lives, more years in the quiet. "What about the sacrifices?" he asked, and her eyes widened in surprise.

"Why, he's eaten them already. Didn't you know?"

Suddenly he felt sick. The quiet was wrong enough, but now there wasn't any blond terror alive to shatter it. He'd known the sacrifices were only to be kept alive long enough to serve their purpose, but he'd gotten used to Edward. He was the Wind of the circle – sometimes here, sometimes there, quick on his feet, sometimes a breeze and sometimes a gale.

Envy sighed. "And he didn't save any of them for me? Greedy of him, don't you think?"

She laughed at that. "It only makes sense. He'll probably make a new Greed soon. Imagine, having to reabsorb him _twice!"_

Envy shrugged, and got to his feet. It was so damn quiet. It was just them now, the sins and the father.

Just them.


	60. Noise

**I dunno why but I love writing anything with Envy and Ed's kids. Envy and Maes in The Passing of Time were fun and awesome, and Envy and Nina in Flickering, and Envy and Nina again here. Clearly, a different Nina, because this one's the first-born child, but that's just because I play fast and loose with Ed and Win's kids. :P**

**The lullaby Ed sings is 'Trisha's Lullaby' from the Brotherhood soundtrack by the way Just because. And he's singing it in Latin because he's dorky like that.**

**60. Noise**

That wretched baby was cryingagain.

Intellectually, Envy knew he should be hiding anywhere but the Elrics' basement, and that he could go just about anywhere else. But he happened to like their basement, and it happened to be mostly quiet, until their stupid daughter started wailing.

"What the hell does she even want?" So far she'd started crying because she was hungry, because she needed a diaper change, and because she was gassy. What could possibly be left?

With a muted growl, Envy got to his feet and crept up the stairs to the ground floor, through the kitchen and up the second flight, following the sound of wailing. Somehow Ed and Winry were _sleeping _through this, although from the _other _sounds he'd heard, they'd tired each other out pretty thoroughly.

Still completely soundlessly, he slunk into the room where the baby slept, poking his head over the top of the crib and gripping the edge with his long, slender fingers. "Hey," he whispered in his harsh voice. "You."

The baby was still screaming, eyes squeezed shut and face the red of an overripe cherry.

"_Shut up._"

She didn't obey. Envy picked up a pillow which had gotten thrown over the side of the crib at some point and held it over her head, debating the merits of shutting the girl up for good.

Suddenly, he heard voices, almost blocked out by the baby's wailing. "Oh no, Nina's awake again."

"Don't bother me, it's your turn."

"My turn? Need I remind you who carried that baby-shaped terror for nine months – and the size of what I had to squeeze her out of?"

"No, no you don't. Go back to sleep, Win."

Envy jolted in action at the sound of mismatched footsteps, shifting as quickly as he could into the shape of a mouse and darting into the half-open closet.

No sooner had he done so than Ed appeared at the doorway, grumbling and rubbing sleep from his eyes. However, he looked down into the crib and his grumpiness faded, replaced with a tired smile. "C'mere, you." Leaning down, he picked up Nina from the crib and held her in his arms. "What's got you all antsy?"

She opened her eyes and looked up at him with blubbery blue eyes. "WAHHHHH~"

Ed sighed, and then began to softly rock her. "It's alright, Nina. It's okay. Daddy's here." He touched her nose gently, and a look of wonder crossed his features, as if he still couldn't believe that he'd helped create this being.

Envy admired his patience. He'd probably have dropped the brat out of the window by now.

Then, Ed began to sing, soft and low. The words weren't in English, as far as Envy could tell, but the tune was gentle, to the point where he found himself nodding off. Soon enough, Nina had stopped crying and was sleeping.

"There we go," whispered Ed. He kissed her forehead, and then laid her back down in the crib. "Love you." Quieting his footsteps as much as he could, he crept back to bed.

Envy shifted back to his normal form inside the closet and crawled out, staring at Nina in wonder through the bars of the cot. She was actually asleep. Holy crap. Envy felt his grudging appreciation of the ex-Fullmetal Alchemist go up a couple of notches. Defeat a centuries-old evil homunculus alchemist? Yeah, whatever. Quiet a crying baby without using violence? Now _that _was real skill.

"Hold on to that one," muttered Envy to the sleeping baby. "You're a lucky girl."


	61. Distractions

**I'm back from vacation! Yay! I'll try for daily updates again but no promises.**

**So this is kind of mostly EnvyxGreed but there's a good dollop of Edvy as well (Oops. Bad me.) I should do a collection for them after this, there really isn't enough for that couple despite how awesome they are. But this short is more of a character study of Envy than anything, since I love love LOVE his character so much. And besides, I've done enough EdWin ones, Envy gets somebody on the side as well :P**

**I couldn't remember the exact ages of the homunculi so I went for Pride, Gluttony, Greed, Envy and then the rest. I know Envy's much, much younger in Brotherhood than in the first series, and that Pride's the oldest, but I can't recall how everyone else's ages map out to that.**

**rockmari: It's a very Envy thing to do XD Ahh, our psychopathic homunculus child, how we love thee despite all common sense. I was trying to make up for my two weeks of no updating – good thing I timed it well ^^**

**Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan: Oh, okay, I couldn't remember where I'd heard that and I never actually finished the 2003 anime. And that's exactly what I was going for – Envy's not about to start whacking Ed about the head in a house of the Lord if he's the religious sort. Quiet: I actually didn't think about that until after I'd finished the oneshot, but then it's like 'ohey, this is pretty ironic' XD. Noise: Hehe. It amuses me too, I may use the idea again in a later 'shot. I'm glad you liked these, they're some of my favourites so far :D**

**Ashling Ivy: Don't get used to it, I had them written and just didn't have any internet XD I'm glad you liked them – and yes! You should work on yours! :D**

**61. Distractions**

It was the rule of being a homunculus, the rule of following Father to the end (the rule Greed had broken, had disobeyed, run away to escape). No distractions. Nothing to steal your attention away from the great plan, the scheme, the machinations of the one you kowtowed to.

(No distractions.)

Envy barely knew the world above the world below. He'd been born in a time of turmoil, of filthy streets and sickness and murder. Some humans rode through the streets in carriages, noses raised and eyes closed, while others bathed in the muck, plucking what they needed from the pockets of whoever was close by. The year had been 1693 and Envy had only seen the outside world for a moment before he was pulled down into the darkness.

(No distractions. That was the rule.)

He didn't care anyway. It was a world full of petty sin, of envy and greed and pride and he had all of that _anyway, _in his little world. He'd go out on missions and manipulate the sheep into doing this and that, positively shocked that none of them could see through his paltry disguises, and then he'd go back down. It never occurred to him to look around – after all, what could he possibly learn?

(No distractions.)

But there's only so much you can ignore. Only so many times you can see a mother shield her child or two lovers say goodbye before their inevitable deaths or a group of friends share a smoke even after a terrible fight that should have divided them forever – Envy began to wonder, began to be intrigued. There was something he didn't understand, something he hadn't seen, something he was _missing._

For the first time, he wondered, the still-young homunculus, he wondered _why _he was called Envy. Pride was a proud and arrogant being; Gluttony ate everything in his path, Greed wanted everything he could have (as he reminded everybody on a regular basis) and Father was their father. Names had meaning. What, then, was the meaning of his?

(No distractions. It's nothing but a name.)

He watched the humans ever more closely, lingering longer and longer on his missions, observing the closeness and the connection that seemed to be ingrained into their biological makeup. More and more he realized just how much it drove them, how much it defined them – and more and more he realized how much it was _lacking _between him and his three brothers. More and more, he realized how much he wanted it.

(No distractions, don't let this distract you)

Finally, he found out why he was called Envy. He was doomed to want this, just like Greed was doomed to desire everything. But unlike his grasping older brother, he was doomed to never have it.

So he just took it from everybody else. He severed the connection where he could find it.

_If I can't be happy neither can they_

(No distractions)

_and if they're dead they can't distract me_

(No distractions. That was the rule. However he chose to interpret it was up to him.)

They made a seal of blood, him and Greed. It wasn't the first they'd made, but it was the biggest so far, and in the war they'd started and the fire they'd stoked, no one noticed a slight teen in tight black clothes killing people from both sides.

And then it was silent – all silent, and Envy took a deep breath. The anger was subsiding now (oh how it rushed up whenever he saw those damn _humans_ and how they cared for each other) and he felt much better. All their humanity and empathy and love couldn't save them from bleeding out in the end, could it?

Greed slid to the ground next to him, a streak of someone else's blood on his cheekbone and more of it covering his hands and arms up to his elbows.

"How are you?" he asked, and Envy started, a strange shiver going down his spine –

(No distractions no distractions)

at the words.

"Whaddaya mean, how am I? I'm great!" Envy cackled, folding his hands behind his head and falling to the ground. "What, aren't you?"

Greed was silent.

Envy propped himself up on his elbows. "Aren't you?" he asked again, changing the inflection, the tone – everything – to let Greed know (oh, any way he could) not to let himself get _distracted –_

"These…humans…" Greed opened and closed his blood-stained hand, a few drops falling heavily from it. "There's something about them."

"No, don't –" Envy swallowed. "Don't say it."

Greed looked at him, purple eyes sparking with a fierce lightning. It scared him – no it didn't, he wasn't afraid of anything – but this wasn't what he wanted. "So you've seen it too, Envy?"

"No I haven't! I dunno what you're talking 'bout so shuddup. Bastard."

"They _feel. _Not just for themselves. For each other." Greed grinned suddenly, baring his sharp teeth in a hungry smile. "I want that."

"No, you don't!" Envy leapt to his feet, gripped by a sudden desire to run.

"Why not? They support each other, they care about each other, they protect each other…" He shrugged. "Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me."

"We're _homunculi. _We're better that that. We don't need to act like those shitty little ants."

Greed's face fell, but his grin returned a moment later, even wider than before. "Why, Envy," he said in almost a purr, "sounding a bit _envious _there, aren't you?"

Envy froze. He glared down at Greed, his smirk, his glasses. He felt his face begin to twist, and the anger rush out from wherever it hid. With a shriek, he struck out, feeling the glasses break under his fist, the smirk disappear, Greed go tumbling across the ground.

"FINE then! Go live with your precious little SHEEP! See if I care!" he screamed, hearing the petulance in his own voice and hating it.

Greed got to his feet in a sizzle of red sparks, picking up his twisted and shattered sunglasses and sliding them into his pocket. "Son of a bitch, you _hit _me…" Envy's words processed, and he looked into the distance with interest. "Huh. I might just."

The bottom dropped out of his stomach. _What had he done?_

Greed didn't leave right away. Instead, they headed back to Central, Greed chattering on about meaningless things while Envy agonized. At one point, Envy felt the older homunculus's hand on his bare thigh, callused thumb stroking in a circular motion. He ignored it as best as he could, and it disappeared a few moments later. The reflection in the train window seemed disappointed.

(Just a distraction. Everything about Greed was a distraction, so really, it would be better when)

The days passed like a dream. Envy held his breath. There seemed to be no change, none at all – Father seemed not to _know _the blasphemous thoughts that Greed had uttered out on the plain, and that in itself was eye-opening because he was supposed to know all – and everybody went about their usual routines and machinations, completely unaware of the static charge building.

And then one day, between heartbeat and heartbeat, Greed was gone.

(it would be better with him gone)

Envy found it so much easier to concentrate now. Even if he did his missions alone now, he did them faster, and he did them without glancing at his companion constantly or having to listen to Greed's rants about women or gold or whatever else he'd decided to possess.

Everything was so much easier. And if sometimes when he was riding an empty train or walking under a midnight sky, he turned to speak and there was no one there, well, that didn't matter. If sometimes he wondered if he should have gone with him, that didn't matter. He _couldn't _have (even if the hand on his thigh had been an invitation; even if they'd always done everything together) because it was Greed's job to have; his was only to want.

And so life passed, without distractions.

Until the year 1914. Things were starting to come together. The great machine was starting to click into place; the plan to unfold; the circle to come to completion. He had new siblings now, in addition to Pride and Gluttony – a sister with ivory skin called Lust, a brutish worker called Sloth, and a wretched hybrid brat in the shape of a man called Wrath. (They didn't get along. For some reason Father didn't understand why.)

The sacrifices were getting restless; antsy. For some reason they _insisted _on investigating. Envy didn't know much about these two – the Eric brothers or something. But they were getting into _their _lab and he and Lust had to do something about it.

At first he was no better than any other human – reckless, stupid, impulsive. Envy taunted him, teased him, discovered his button (height? Of all the things to be sensitive about! Envy _chose _to be the height he was and he wasn't much taller than the so-called 'shrimp') and eventually laughed gleefully when he broke his automail. Unfortunately, since the alchemist was a sacrifice, Envy wasn't actually allowed to kill him, so he drew the unfortunate lot of carrying the knocked-out shorty out of the building.

And that was (should have been) that. But there was just something.

(No distractions.)

He asked Lust about the deal with the automail and empty armour (just like their guards. Funny that!) and snarled at the answer. Same fucking thing he'd always seen. That goddamn connection.

(No distractions.)

but this was so much stronger

(no)

and so much deeper

(distractions)

and because of it, or despite of it, or _something, _Edward Elric went out of his way for _everyone. _He'd seen it with the Slicer Brothers (so idiotically heroic, trying to save murderers!) and then came Scar, and then – oh god then

(no no no)

_Greed._

And Greed was melted down and Envy laughed and turned his head right at the end so he wouldn't cry, and he watched as Edward and his brother mourned the chimeras. Chimeras. Talk about abominations. Fuck.

He killed a man who knew too much and Edward mourned him, and for the first time, he felt guilty, and he wondered what on earth had happened. He was getting distracted, and he needed to stop, because they were so damn _close._

Lust was killed. Destroyed, and reduced to a pile of ugly ashes. Envy screamed, and watched tears well up in Gluttony's piggish eyes, and curled his lip because they _weren't _human. No way. This was just – frustration. And the way Gluttony cried out for Lust at night when there was no one to stroke his head anymore, Envy _hadn't_ heard that a thousand times before from lost children. No.

And again he watched Edward, followed him, wondered how this happened – and then they were trapped together in the hell that was Gluttony's stomach, and there was nothing _but _distraction. Things came spilling out. Parts of the plan (the precious plan) and the story of Ishbal, accompanied with his laughter, and he cursed the precious blond boy for driving him to revealing it.

Greed came back with no memories, and Envy kept away. It was so tempting, every time he heard that voice, those words, to tell him that he'd been right. But it was a _different _Greed, and he was a blasted hybrid now, and Envy wanted nothing to do with him now. (If he kept saying it maybe it would be true.)

And over and over, driven to distraction by Edward and Greed and the things that kept going wrong, and the thoughts that kept invading, and the plain and simple fact that every time he turned his head the humans were bonding and connecting and loving, and sometimes hating each other and working together _anyway, _and Edward was leading them, and they – were – going – to – win.

Just before he left them again, after he'd assaulted Wrath, Greed came to him wearing his new body. "Hey, _bakemono,"_ he said in that old, familiar voice.

Envy didn't jump, or run. "You got your memories back." He'd known (feared) it was a possibility.

"I'm going again."

"I figured that would happen if you did." He kept his voice controlled, he didn't look at him (this way he could pretend it was still the old Greed) and he didn't betray a single hint of emotion. (He thought.)

"You coming?"

He looked up, and Greed (the new Greed) was right there, so close he could almost (don't think it) and he really didn't look all _that _different. It was the same grin, and the same eyes, and his hair was still dark and his face was only a little differently shaped.

"Are you kidding? And live with _humans?_"

"I'm part human now, ya know. I could get offended."

"Then get offended." Envy sat down and crossed his arms and legs. It was petulant, it was silly, and above all it was ridiculous, and he hated being ridiculous. But Greed didn't laugh. _Smart man._

Instead, he began to walk away, and Envy rose again, almost calling out to him. "What – what should I do?" he asked, voice quavering with uncertainty.

Greed turned back. "You don't know?" he asked in turn, sounding honestly curious and surprised.

Envy scowled by way of answer, and Greed chuckled a little bit. It wasn't at him, he knew, just the situation.

"You haven't seen it," he said finally. "Don't even start about our missions. Those don't count. You never really looked. There's forests where the trees are miles high, soaring up so far you can't see the tops. There's places where men wear women's clothes and dance and sing so well that it's almost impossible to tell. There's places where water falls and crashes on the rocks, and it roars as loud as a lion. There's places where the rocks get so hot you could cook an egg on them, and the snakes come out in droves to warm their blood."

Envy was so captivated, he didn't notice Greed getting closer – or perhaps he did and just didn't want to move away. Suddenly his older brother's mouth was next to his ear and his hands on his arms. His breath was hot, and Envy's spine tingled. "Don't you want to see it? Feel the sun, without Father telling us what to do? Don't you want to do what you want?" At that, Greed nipped at Envy's lobe – and in a moment of panic immediately following the rush of feeling, Envy tore himself away.

"You're lucky I don't kill you myself, deserter. We've already lost Lust."

"And what do you think is going to happen?" Greed looked hurt, but Envy didn't let it affect him. "Father's _losing, _brother dear. And you are all going to die."

He left, and Envy sat down, unable to stop shuddering and shaking at the memory of Greed's teeth on his ear.

(No distractions.)

And god help him, Greed's prediction came true. Even after saving his own skin once (deceiving the idiotic princess had been embarrassingly easy) he was back in his pathetic, weak form, cringing under the boot of a puny human he'd pushed too far.

"I don't want to die!" he heard himself cry out. _Greed! Greed, help me, please –_ but Greed couldn't hear him, or maybe he could and just didn't care anymore.

Someone else saved him instead – and looking up, he found himself in the hands of Edward Elric. His distraction. His _human _distraction. The pitiful, puny human who was defeating Father and still saving everybody he could.

Edward had stood up for chimeras, bodiless souls, murderers, soldiers – everyone imaginable.

And now Edward Elric was standing up for him. He was saving him. _He. _Was saving. _Him._

_ Oh, Greed, why do you have to be right all the time?_

His beautiful distraction, so fucking flawlessly heroic, so perfectly human and inhumanly perfect, and now he had the nerve to save him too.

Envy hissed out his hatred – tried to incite violence where his powers couldn't, tried to start a war from an automail hand.

And instead, Edward looked into his eyes and spoke out loud his secret. His horrible, awful secret, which only Greed had known and never, never dared to speak out loud.

(No distractions)

But _this_ had been the distraction all along. The plan, the machine, the circle, the neverending need to stay on task and he'd never seen, never imagined.

Greed. Him and Greed.

Gluttony's childlike tears.

_Greed._

The hand on his thigh. "You coming?"

Lust, playing with his hair when she got bored and cracking jokes about his fashion sense –

_Greed._

"You're envious of humans," said Edward Elric. And Envy broke, because that wasn't just it, that wasn't _just _it, but he'd been too distracted to see that he'd had what he'd wanted all along.


	62. Green With Envy

**WARNING FOR ROYED. Apparently that's a thing I should put on anything in an EdxEnvy collection that has the dreaded RoyEd in it. I actually like the pairing so whatever.**

**I have rewritten this one so many times. You don't even wanna KNOW how many times I've rewritten it. There's a reason I'm late in getting it up, and it's shitty anyway TwT My days of reliability are over, I'm afraid, although I am trying my best, I swear! **

**Guest: (Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan is my guess, but I may be wrong) I got a huge kick out of writing it, so I'm glad you like it! I love the homunculi for exactly that reason – they're evil because they believe that they must be, kind of. They believe that they are non-human, and everyone else does because otherwise, why would they be fighting? I never do enough with Greed either, so the friendship was fun. There's no way they could hate each other that much without some friendship to start with.**

**rockmari: Heehee. Speechlessness is a good response. (As long as you let me know you're speechless, haha.)**

**Fairyboydammit: It's okay, I've been out of town anyway ^^ And it's awesome to get a nice big clump of reviews!**

** Distractions: Omg yay :D It was one that thrilled me to write so to have it be a favourite of yours makes me squee. That's EXACTLY why I like writing Envy, despite him being a total arse all the time. And if you like GreedxEnvy, my next themes project is probably gonna be around them, so keep your eyes open once this is done **

** Prayer: I wanted to make this one a lot longer, but I didn't want it to meander too much. I'd love to make a sequel, and if there's a theme that fits, I just might. **

** Ice: This is one where I knew what I'd write for it from the very beginning. I'm glad you like how I write tragedy, I agree that not enough people try to write it – which is a shame, because at its core it's actually far easier than comedy. Although what you said is also true. Some of the stories I've read *shakes head* NAAARM.**

** Fire: Your favourite? :D *sniff sniff* That's so sweet ^^ I like giving Ed dark moments because he's a really dark protagonist – a lot of people sugarcoat that or turn it into typical 'emo teen' stuff.**

** First fruits of the season: Haha, yeah, the plotline is actually stolen from a oneshot I tried to write years ago as a present for someone. I never finished it (and I think they ended up changing their username) but I liked the idea. I had fun with the dream/hallucination as well, and the Gate is perfect for contrasting with something as rich and flavourful as fruit.**

**64. Green with envy**

It was wrong. It was horribly, horribly _wrong._

The colonel – that goddamn ponyboy colonel with his Xingese eyes and his jet-black hair – shouldn't be the one oh-so-subtly nudging Edward's shoulder.

He shouldn't be the one trading meaningful glances with the pipsqueak as he sat down. Weren't they supposed to be yelling? Weren't they supposed to hate each other?

_Hate. Come on, dammit, hate each other._ That was how it was supposed to be.

Envy quickly glanced back down at his food. He was wearing an unassuming form – one he usually used around headquarters. They wouldn't recognize him.

"See anything moving in there, Fullmetal?" said the Colonel, looking pointedly at the lump of mashed potatoes balancing precariously on Edward's fork. The diminutive alchemist was currently losing a staring match with the so-called food.

"Not yet," murmured the blond, "but once I do, the fucker is mine."

"I _could_ just toast him, you know."

"When hell freezes over, bastard," retorted Edward, not looking away from the hovering fork. "I let you do that and next thing I know I have to run my head under the tap to put out the flames. And my hair dries frizzy."

Envy stared resolutely at the tray he'd filled in an attempt to fit in at the mess hall. He wasn't really sure why he was here, but now he was, all he wanted was to leave.

Roy smirked. "Oh _really?_ I'd love to see it."

Ed paused, and looked acidly at Roy, although he couldn't stop the hint of a smile from tugging at the corners of his lips. "Pervert."

"Don't be vain."

"_Vain? _Look who's talking."

Envy wondered how it wasn't obvious to everyone around him – the easy companionship, the teasing, the comfort levels that no superior officer and subordinate should have with each other. It was clear as goddamn mud that they were sleeping together, and it made him want to tear something apart.

It was…it was _disgusting, _he finally decided, because Mustang was more than ten years older than the pipsqueak. After all, how old was the kid now? Sixteen? Maybe less than that? He didn't really keep track. _Too _young was the point, too young for some middle-aged playboy to be screwing.

Although, if Mustang was a middle-aged playboy, what did that make him?

Envy shook his head distractedly, hissing, "Stop it!" under his breath.

"You alright?" He looked up. Both Mustang and Ed were looking at him – as well as the men surrounding him.

"Uh…yeah. Just a…headache."

He got up and left, leaving the tray behind, but their conversation followed him. He could hear Ed snicker slightly and say, "Hey, maybe he has a crush on you!"

"Don't be crude, Fullmetal."

God, he wanted to kill him. The problem was, he wasn't quite sure who he meant.


	63. Circles

**OHMYGOD IT'S OFFICIAL I'M A DUMBASS XD I was freaking out so much about finishing Green With Envy that I forgot that I had two unpublished ones right before it. Hence it being numbered '64'. So. Yeah. Sorry about that. I'm not gonna bother fixing the order, just be aware that that's why XD**

**This is kind of a poem but not…I'm not sure. Hopefully the format doesn't completely screw up. It should be okay, though, there's nothing in the way of weird spacing. **

**Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan: Exactly what I was going for – you'd be surprised how hard that actually is to get across without whacking readers over the head with it _ And I can see him being the 'if I can't have you NOBODY CAN' psycho type, hence the last line Glad you liked it despite the shitty. And it's alright, I always know it's you XD Hooray for writing styles!**

**colouroflove: I love how you describe these things as 'cute' and it's like… 'okay not what I was going for but SURE!' haha. Imagine him trying to explain himself to Lust or someone :P But I'm glad you liked it **

**62. Circles**

We're going around in circles –

This will never end –

But it's a dizzy addiction

So let's go round again.

It starts with a clash of blades or maybe a blunt

strike from above that sends one of

us onto the ground then it's just

a matter of time until one of

us draws blood and that's

the catalyst then it

changes and

we're

both

on the ground

pretending to hate

and fight and argue but

before it's even over we've

stopped pretending and it's back

to

enemies.

We're going around in circles –

Lover, foe and friend

But it's a ride of our lives

So let's go round again.

It'll end the day that someone

points out how foolish

and self-centred we

are (which is

only fair

we're

teenagers in

mind) but once

the charade's up, the

game's up and somebody

will

have

to

die.

We're going around in circles –

Right until the end

The truth it won't be spoken

Lover, foe and friend.


	64. Tattoos

**This is the third in the series of Eyes/Numb (6 and 27).**

**Fairyboydammit: That would be super awesome if you did XD If you ever do, you have to let me know I'm glad you like them, poetry has always been what I'm best at. Always great to hear from you ^^**

**FullMetalMiniSkirt: Yes, actually! I have little blurbs written out for ideas for every theme, and have since about number 45. The sequel to Secrets/Loyalties is coming soon, don't worry – and it's great to see that you want to know what happens next :D**

**Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan: WOO! Hundredth reviewer! *gives cookie* and you get a special giftfic oneshot too ^^ (not that I've finished any of the others…but whatever) I know it's a weird one, but I felt like doing something peculiar. And now I want to go listen to that song. DAMN YOU! XD (I'll PM you about the oneshot once I get some more chapters finished ^^)**

**coloroflove: I figured it was you XD I'm glad you liked this one. I should get better with the chapters soon, I'm just falling a bit behind on all my other works in progress, and I just restarted my punk-fantasy novel _ Not to mention a job and school starting soon…I'm streeessed :P**

**63. Tattoos**

"Envy, master?"

He looked up from tracing the tattoos, trying to remember if Edward had had anything like them. "What do you want?" he asked harshly.

Pride cocked his head. "My tattoos. What are they?"

Envy traced them again, pulling his long, cold, white finger along the jagged red line. "Scars." It wasn't exactly true, but it was the closest he had gotten to an explanation – for himself as much as for the blond doll in front of him.

"No, they're not," countered Pride, and Envy scowled, ready to take out his frustrations on the young homunculus under the guise of a punishment for going against his word.

But what he said next stilled his hand.

Pride pointed to his right shoulder. "I don't have any tattoos here. And I don't have any here." He pointed to his left leg, and then to a dozen other places before placing his finger on his chest.

Ed's scars.

Pride had just indicated each of Ed's scars, including the one Envy had put there himself.

Hope swelled in his chest, before he crushed it mercilessly. _Fool. Sentimental, idiotic fool._

Getting to his feet, he backhanded Pride across the face, sending him to the floor before striding away.

Pride was nothing but a disappointment. Nothing more.


	65. Killer

**Augh, I had a great idea for this one and I only wrote down 'ep 50 AU/thoughts' to remind myself of it – so, predictably, I forgot just about all of it. Hopefully this will do. **

**I tend to operate on the assumption that everybody's either already seen the last episodes of both series or know what happens. However, I've realized how dangerous an assumption that is, so - - -**

**SPOILER WARNING. (Seriously, this was like, 2006 or something. YOU'RE SIX YEARS BEHIND GAIZ) It's slightly AU as in I play with what actually happens, as in I didn't actually rewatch the episode :P**

**Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan: I was trying for subtlety, glad it worked And thank you! You've actually just given me an idea for something I haven't tried yet…thanks XD**

**Guest: Lol, you were expecting happy? You must be new. Jk, you're awesome for reviewing – I'm just not usually one for writing happy things. And I never said it was the last one **

**Coloroflove: Glad you liked it I really like the idea of Pride, I've played with the character a few time in a few different ways. And that's not predictability, that's your entered name being almost the same as your username. Any reason why you aren't logged in? Just didn't feel like it?**

**65. Killer**

It was supposed to be simple. Punch the git until he won, or something gave in. He may have been a homunculus, but he was still made with the shape of a human – he couldn't do his fancy flips and crazy moves forever. And Wrath intervening hadn't hurt.

It was supposed to be simple. Envy had a true face under all of the disguises – he'd heard him admit it, that his usual form wasn't his _real _one.

It was supposed to be simple.

He wasn't supposed to be looking down into what felt almost like a mirror, except the person below him was at least two, three years older, and he had slightly different features.

Dimly, he heard Dante explaining. They were _Dante's _features Envy wore blended with his father's, instead of Trisha's. But in all else…they were the same.

He wasn't supposed to be unable to attack _him_, of all the people he could be compassionate towards – Hughes's murderer, a deceiver, a liar. He'd been able to kill the creature with his mother's shape. His own _mother._ He wasn't supposed to be hesitating, trembling. He wasn't supposed to be listening to this bastard's words – he _hated _him, god he hated him so much for everything he'd done to him, to Al –

It wasn't supposed to be so easy to think of Envy as his brother –

- but he wasn't supposed to be bleeding, either, and his vision wasn't supposed to be fading. He wasn't supposed to be feeling numb from his fingers to his toes, and hearing Rose's desperate cries like they were from far away, and hearing Al whimper his name in a voice that was too young, too young to be seeing this…

…he wasn't supposed to be dying with Al still trapped in a prison he didn't deserve.

The light in his eyes faded.

* * *

Envy gazed down at his fallen foe and felt only scorn. Imagine, being affected so badly by a familiar face! It was pitiful, really – and now he was dead.

He could hear Al crying out like a lost child. Rose's screams had woken her baby, too, and his squeals added yet another layer to the cacophony.

"SHUT UP!" he screamed, and they fell silent. Dante, the only one who had remained silent, smiled enigmatically. He imagined she was proud.

"I _killed _him. Get over it." He twisted his mouth into a smile. "You think it wouldn't have happened eventually?"

"But…you…" Envy rolled his eyes at Al's stammering. "He –you're our _brother!"_

"Yeah? What's your point?" He turned to look at the body once again. It was strange how different he looked now he'd breathed his last breath. He'd _done _it.

He'd done it.

So why didn't he feel better about it?


	66. Laughter

**Auuugh the fluff/sap XD I'm trying to write some that are a bit less horribly depressing.**

**Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan: Thanks ^^ I struggled with where to cut it off, honestly, and I was tempted to do more, but I thought that that would diverge from the theme too much.**

**coloroflove: Killing Ed is too much fun, why would I stop?**

**66. Laughter**

When Envy heard the children laughing and playing in the fields, it made him see red and want to break something. He usually did, often a nearby tree or whatever else was handy.

Laughter. It was such an innocent thing. That was probably why humans were so creeped out when he laughed at them - at their pathetic struggles, crawling in the dirt like worms.

Laughter. Humans did it so much, they even had words for different types. (What a waste of time.) They never just _laughed, _they giggled or chortled or guffawed or a million other words which meant basically the same thing. And sometimes they laughed until they cried, which was a complete contradiction of terms.

But suddenly - suddenly he didn't care how silly it was. He was laughing with him, instead of at him, and giggling and chortling and guffawing until the tears came pouring from their eyes and they'd completely forgotten what was so funny in the first place.

It was completely ridiculous, all of it. But Envy didn't mind so much.


	67. Redemption

**THIS TOOK WAY TOO LOOOONG. But here it is - the third in the series of Secrets/Loyalties. I strongly suggest rereading those before reading this, because I kind of got carried away. Hehe. I'm tempted to repost the three as a separate story as well, so that people who don't want to read *all hundred themes* can read this little arc.**

**I enjoy writing Roy far too much, and I do it far too little. Apologies for the hints of RoyxEd, though, it just kinda worked in the context. It's nothing major.**

**I'm proud of myself, I title-dropped all three themes from the series XD**

**Quick reminder: this is divergent from Lab 5, so Hughes isn't dead :) And it's series one canon.**

**Fairyboydammit: Chapter 64: What about other takes disappoints you? I really haven't read enough about Pride to know. I'm glad you like it though – the idea of Ed as a homunculus has always appealed to me. **

** Chapter 65: Why thank you! I loved this scene (especially the fight choreography) and the entire half-brother thing was amazing, but the anime storyline doesn't appeal to me at all.**

** Chapter 66: Yay for warm fuzzies ^^ Even I get tired of depressing shit sometimes. (Not often though.)**

**Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan: I hope odd is good :P I was going for a snapshot feel instead of a coherent 'story', mostly because I didn't want to think about what they'd laugh and bond over. Too much thinking. You're exactly right about the reasoning though **

**Thank you everybody for reviewing, you're all awesome and stuffs. Oh, and FullMetalMiniSkirt, this is for you **

67. Redemption

Edward Elric had been missing for six months and seven days. His disappearance had been sudden and unexpected to most; an unexplainable tragedy, but in the end, simply that.

To two gentlemen in particular, however, it had been the finale to his slow and terrifying descent into what could only be called madness - a feverish madness that in turn, had gripped the more fragile of the two.

It wasn't too irredeemably cruel, then, to dismiss Alphonse Elric's latest information as more false hope.

"I'm telling you, it was him!" Al's two metal gauntlets crashed down onto Roy's desk, scattering the few papers remaining. Inwardly impressed that he'd managed not to flinch, the Colonel collected the papers into a pile and tidied them as much as he could - any excuse not to look at Al. It was amazing how guilty an expressionless suit of armour could feel.

"It's unlikely. He's either dead _or _-" he emphasized at Al's body language, "-he's left the city, if not the country. I don't see Full - er, your brother being stupid enough to stay here. Besides, we would have found him by now."

"Why won't you believe me?"

"Because you've been seeing your brother everywhere. If it wasn't for your unique problems, I'd have you sent to a psychotherapist."

"I-I'm not _crazy!_"

"I didn't say you were. Just stressed and missing your brother." Roy made the mistake of looking up, and then sighed. "Fine. Tell it to me again."

"I was walking down the street down in Lowertown last night, and it was raining really badly. There was a kitten under the tree, so I went to help him - then I looked up, and he was sitting in the tree."

"_In _the tree? In the middle of a rainstorm?"

Al nodded.

"Did he say anything?"

"No, but it was him, I know it!"

"Could it have been Envy?" Even as he said it, he half-regretted it - he could see the crushing disappointment in Al's eyes, lantern-lit and white as they were.

"I...I don't _think _so..." Suddenly Al gasped, straightening immediately and staring past his shoulder. Roy swiveled around in his chair just in time to see Ed's face framed in the window, gold eyes wide and blond hair disheveled around a dirty face. A few seconds later, he disappeared.

"BROTHER!" Roy threw an arm out to stop Al before he could throw himself out of the window.

"Don't," he murmured. "I'll go."

"But -"

"If it's a trap, Edward will never forgive me for letting you walk into it. Now _stay - here._"

"But-!"

"And that's an order. I don't care if you're not a soldier." With that, Roy opened the window, wincing as the cold wind whipped at his face. He slung one leg over the edge and looked down into the darkness, searching the parade grounds for movement - and there he was, running into the distance.

"I'm getting too old for this," he muttered, before jumping out of the building.

* * *

Envy didn't even afford Ed a glance as he came running into the warehouse. "Oh, there you are, pet. He coming?"

Ed nodded, breathing hard.

"Good, I'm bored already." He looked over Ed's shoulder. "Hold on, you got the wrong one."

Ed turned, and hissed furiously when he saw Roy in hot pursuit. "But -" He sighed. "Get out of sight."

"Don't tell me what to do, _pet._"

"_Please,"_ added Ed in the most conciliatory tone he could muster. It didn't seem to satisfy Envy, but with a huff, he slid deeper into the warehouse.

"Edward?" Roy's voice rang out from the darkness, and Ed winced. "Is that you?"

"Go away." His voice was hoarse and he knew it. "It's not supposed to be you."

"Oh?" It was too dark to see him, but the sound of footsteps told Ed that the Colonel was coming closer. "You wanted it to be Al who came, right?"

"I told you to go away."

"Not on your life, Fullmetal."

"Don't call me that." Ed was all too aware of Envy's presence. "I resigned, remember?"

"Of course. I have a suggestion, Edward." The Colonel's voice was as calm as ever. Only Edward's years of dealing with him revealed the tenseness beneath it, drawn tight as a steel wire. "Start walking forward."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

_It can't do any harm. Al's not here. _Slowly, he began to walk forward, fingers itching with the charged energy in the room. The circle was beneath their feet, but it wouldn't activate without Al's iron armour inside. One of the many new things he'd learned to do.

He could just barely make out Roy's silhouette, and his heart skipped a beat. They were less then a metre apart. It had been so long since he'd been this close to anybody else. He'd never found the Colonel attractive before, but after six months at Envy's tender mercies, he was nothing more than a slave to what he'd previously held prisoner.

"There we go," murmured Roy, just loud enough for him to hear. "Now..._duck."_

"What?"

"I said, DUCK!" he growled, pulling his hand out of his pocket and snapping just as Ed fell to a crouch. Both men shielded their eyes as fire lit up the previously pitch-black surroundings, and a second later, the air was filled with shrieking.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" screamed Envy, and in the light of the quickly-fading flames, Ed could see Roy smirk.

"I figured you were in here somewhere...Envy." Roy snapped again, a thin thread of fire dancing up towards the dusty lamp and igniting it. "Now, let's shed a little light on the situation, shall we?"

The darkness fled to the corners of the warehouse, revealing the tableau - Envy, hunched over and still flickering with red lightning; Edward, dropped to one knee and covered in half-healed bruises and scars visible even in the meager light; and Roy, standing tall with one hand in his pocket and the other still outstretched.

"So finally I get to lay eyes on your mysterious informant," he said, almost conversationally. "I have to say, I'm impressed. Not many creatures can withstand that kind of blast - and trust me, I was aiming to kill." His voice turned cold on the last few words.

Edward couldn't help a short, tense laugh. "Still bored, Envy?" he asked flippantly. The bastard's attitude was contagious.

"Shut up!" screeched Envy. "Remember who you belong to, _pet!_" There was none of the usual playfulness to the threat, just pure fury.

"Pet?" echoed Roy, looking down at Ed. "I see. Have you traded in one chain for another, then, Edward?"

"You shut your mouth, bastard," he hissed. "You don't understand."

"Oh, don't I? He offered you some tidbit of information to help Al and you went raring off on your own without any sort of consideration of anybody else's feelings, including _his._ Sounds about right."

Envy laughed, standing up straight with a 'crack' as he finished regenerating. "Oh, the pretty little Colonel's got it all figured out, don't he?"

Ed looked away. He didn't want to see Mustang's face when he heard the things he had done. And that was the only reason he saw the glint of metal at the doorway.

Suddenly, every muscle tensed up. "Envy -"

Envy ignored him. "Your pretty little _pipsqueak _loves being on his knees, did you know that? Of course not - if you did, you'd be using that office for more than just lecturing him. Who'd have thunk, though? Strong, wonderful, heroic, Edward Elric loves getting fucked like a _girl. _How's it feel knowing the closest thing you'll ever have to a son is a flaming faggot?"

Ed's eyes met Al's, and he couldn't look away.

The anger in Roy's voice was palpable. "And what does that make you?"

Envy chuckled darkly. "An opportunist. That's all. How _could _I pass up the opportunity to make him beg in the dirt?"

Ed's face was wet. He realized with a jolt that he was crying.

_And Al was watching._

"And, of course, it's 'all for Al'. Ha! The things you humans will come up with. Your precious little loyalties. Your precious little _lies._"

Al took a step forwards, and the blackness that had been swelling and growing inside of Ed for six months and seven days suddenly metamorphosed into something white-hot. The circle crackled underneath him, feeling its ingredient close by and reaching, reaching out, beckoning it in -

"Mustang, get out."

"I'm not leaving you with this psychopath, Edward -"

Not wasting any more time with pleasantries, Ed slammed his entire weight into Mustang, shoving him into the wall of the warehouse and just outside the perimeter of the circle.

Al took one more step, too focused on his brother to look down. Ed clapped his hands and slammed them down onto the circle - and the feeble light of the lamp was swallowed up in the blue, red and purple aurora of the transmutation.

"BROTHER!" The scream made Ed shiver, thrown back momentarily to a night four years previously - until another scream brought him barrelling back to the present.

Envy writhed on the ground, clawing right through the concrete and into the earth below and dragging himself closer to Ed. "You...get...me...out..._aggggggh!" _His back bent almost in half as he convulsed in what looked to be unbelievable agony.

Ed said nothing, and Envy's purple eyes widened in realization, just before he retched up a mouthful of red stones shining dully in the alchemic show of lights. "You - _bastard -_ you set -" Another mouthful came pouring out, sticky with saliva. "YOU SET ME UP!" He screamed again, reaching out towards Ed.

Ed smiled grimly, the tears still flowing down his face. "Have to say, you've got a healthy dose of pride along with your envy there. You handed me ancient alchemy texts and told me to have a good time. You thought I wouldn't turn against you eventually? I found _everything _I needed." Even the graveyard had been a stone's throw from Envy's favourite haunt. It was almost too good to be true.

"I -" He vomited again. "I gave you - what you - you wanted - AAAAAH!"

Ed felt his lip lift in a snarl and pressed down harder on the circle, even though he knew it would make no difference.

Envy brought up another handful of red stones, clattering on the floor, and his form shifted and changed, his powers finally giving out and restoring him to his true shape. He looked up at Ed with new eyes, just as gold as his. "You would kill your own brother?" he asked in an imploring voice, although drawn from the pain. It was the last secret that he had revealed, the one that had finally convinced Ed to turn on him.

"Brothers don't do what you did to me."

Envy smiled crookedly for a second before his face collapsed in agony again. "You - ahhhgh! - you loved...every moment. Don't lie, p-pet..."

Ed closed his eyes as Envy let out one last scream. He could feel his own energy fading - and then, just as he felt his consciousness start to slip away, a shoulder nudged his, making him open his eyes. The transmutation suddenly spiked.

"You're almost there," murmured a familiar sly voice, for once encouraging and honest with no hint of mockery. "The Red Stones should be enough fuel, and you can ignore equivalency. Just _push._"

Of course, he remembered. Roy had used a Red Stone before.

He pushed.

And there, just in the corner of his eye, where the world of the Gate and the real world crossed and collided, he could see Al - the way he was supposed to be.

For a moment, he quailed. He almost backed away in terror. He was filthy - he couldn't stand touching Al, letting his corruption taint his brother. He was _dirt -_

- but he pushed harder anyway.

This was his redemption. This was his second chance. And as he drew on the potential locked inside the Stones that were all that was left of the homunculus, he wondered if it wasn't Envy's redemption too.

Finally, the barrier collapsed. The light faded. And there, in the middle of the circle and breathing evenly in the gentle grasp of sleep, was a ten-year-old boy.

Ed crawled into the circle and collapsed next to him, murmuring only a few words before falling into blissful unconsciousness.

"Welcome home, Al."

To him, at least, it had all been worth it in the end.


	68. Listening

**I really can't do dailies anymore, I had work last night and just collapsed. I'll probably do about three-four a week, which is still pretty dang good.**

**Fairyboydammit: Thank you :) I don't often write Envy as the complete monster type, but it's fun to do every now and again. And I did toy with the idea of having 'Secrets' lead into something happier but it seemed too cliche to me. Envy finding out Ed's secret and using it against him is just so...well, Envy. As for Pride!Ed, that's good to hear - I don't have much in the way of actual solid ideas, but I do want it to go somewhere other than just 'oh he has no memory'. And I definitely don't want to disappoint you.**

**Shade40: :D I think I'm going to take those three oneshots and rewrite them a bit to post them as a story. You're right about the EdxEnvy - I had a bunch of subtext I just didn't have room for that will probably make it into the story, but it really turned out more RoyEd. I'll probably post it under RoyEd when I do post it. And thanks for reminding me of that - I thought he had to be killed, but I couldn't remember and I couldn't figure out how to blend that in.**

**xxakikoakanexx: Yay! Thank you :) I really liked the idea for this one but I AGONIZED over how to write it.**

** Chapter 47: :D :D :D Reread value is awesome 3 I get carried away with description sometimes but luckily that's a story where I'm allowed to. (I think. I hope. Maybe.)**

**Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan: Woo! Yay! I hate mopey Ed so I'm super happy I managed to get his personality right ^^ I'm like 'okay he'll be depressed...but what does Ed do when he gets depressed...he breaks things...' I still think it's missing something but when I rewrite the series as a short story hopefully I'll have room for what I couldn't get in there (and to fix the canon mistakes like Shade40 mentioned.)**

**Thank you all for reviewing ^.6 (monocle face!) You're all epic and I love you. 3**

**Oh, and keep your eyes peeled for 'Want', a giftfic for xxakikoakanexx for being the fiftieth reviewer. It's not quite done, but I'll be done within the next few days and it's based on the song by the same name by Disturbed.**

**68. Listening**

He was a homunculus, and _he _was human.

Black and white.

You couldn't get any simpler than that.

* * *

"Stupid pipsqueak. Always thinking about your brother first."

* * *

He was a homunculus, and _he _was a human.

Envy didn't hesitate to remind him of that constantly. The gap was _staggering. _They were meant to be enemies. They were practically _designed _to be enemies.

Even the physical similarities - homunculi were built just like superhumans - those couldn't fool him.

* * *

"It's _hopeless. _There's no way out. Why the hell don't you give up already?"

* * *

He wasn't human, therefore he was the enemy.

He wasn't human.

He was _in_human.

(Then what about Den, Alexander, Black Hayate? Were they enemies?)

* * *

"Hurry the hell up! You goddamn humans are so _slow _about everything."

* * *

Humans bled -

(Al didn't bleed.)

Humans cried -

(but he could count the number of times he'd seen his comrades cry on one hand)

Humans died.

(except Hohenheim...)

* * *

The more Ed listened to Envy, the more he could feel his stark definitions begin to blur.

* * *

And, listening to Envy spit out indignant attempts at riling them up even in his tiny shape, the truth finally stared him in the face.

"You're envious of humans."

All it took was listening.


	69. Dragon

Moar poetry, just because. Also, I did this on an iPad, so if the formatting is shit, I'm super sorry.

I've posted an Edvy oneshot, separate from this series, as a giftfic for xxakikoakanexx for being the fiftieth reviewer. It's called 'Want', and if you like oneshots where the homunculi have Ed prisoner for whatever reason, you should check it out. It's dark, it's depressing, it's sexy...look, I'm working on a happy fluffy(ish) giftfic, I do write cheerful stuff sometimes! I swear!

69. Dragon

it was the perfect form

for this new world.

the perfect shape, lithe with grace

the perfect lines with glints and gleams

and sharp and lethal pointed teeth.

the perfect shape, with wings for flight

to swoop down through the night

and terrify the ants below

with his devil's-blood eyes.

the perfect form to hunt down the one he loathed

the one without shield or power or sword

the perfect form to kill his own St. George

it was the perfect shape

the dragon

the same that adorned his skin

in carmine and sanguine tint.

the perfect shape

to hide

the angry and lonely child within.


	70. Grotesque

**Whoo, this one became very different from what I was expecting. But I really wanted to play with the self-definitions of both 'grotesque' and 'freak'.**

**No names, but it should be fairly obvious even if you had no other hints (like the collection, or the classification) who they are.**

**Oh, and I'll say right now: I have no problem with BDSM or sadomasochism or any of that. What's depicted here is a very extreme, very unsafe version. But as long as there's consent between two adults, it's fine**

**Lyrics in order: Ugly by the Exies, Monster by Lady Gaga, Closer by Nine Inch Nails, S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W/ by My Chemical Romance, Stillborn by Black Label Society, Stranger in a Strange Land by 30 Seconds to Mars and Bleed It Out by Linkin Park. All of which are very Edvy songs, the second last probably the most.**

**Fairyboydammit:...are you comparing my story to awesome sex? :D (And I shouldn't be making those jokes on a T-rated story. Whatever.) And thank you, that's actually what I thought of first then kind of worked backwards. Thanks for reviewing as always!**

**Guest: Thank you! I really take time with my first and last lines, trying to make them memorable. Thanks for reviewing **

**70. Grotesque**

Welcome to the Cirque de Freak. Don't worry, we're all wrong here. Not 'oh no I'm too short' or 'my parents don't love me' - no, we're called freaks because that's what we _are. _We're monsters, some of us walking around in human skin, some of us not even bothering.

And we could be _anyone._

_-we are dirt we are alone you know we're far from sober-_

Like...the boy sitting across the restaurant from you, chewing away at a sandwich. He looks normal enough. He's wearing a lot of clothes for such a hot day, but you've gotten used to that in the time you've known him. And you think you know him well.

For example, you know two of his limbs are made of steel. You know how he lost them. You know that the man in the armour sitting across from him is really his little brother, and that the suit of armour is empty.

But what you don't know is where he goes when it all gets too much, when he remembers that he's a cripple and his brother's a ghost and they're both murderers and sinners. He comes _here._

And he lets the monster out.

_-he's a wolf in disguise, but I can't stop staring in those evil eyes-_

I'm the only one of my kind who goes there, oddly enough. We're all grotesque in our own way, but the idea of mingling with humans who consider themselves monsters...well, it doesn't appeal to most of them. It doesn't appeal to me either. But...well, it's fun, believe it or not. Idiotic as that is.

They love to be clawed apart, these human-monsters. They revel in pain - it's such a strange concept. And I get to be the one to give it to them.

It's grotesque.

_-you let me violate you you let me desecrate you-_

I don't bother taking on another shape at the Cirque de Freak. I fit in perfectly in my usual form - everybody's a little odd there. There's a girl with blue hair and metal studs in two rows down her throat. She hides them with a scarf or high necks during the day, but when she's here, I can drag my tongue or my nails across them and watch how she shivers and flinches.

I don't bother shifting or changing. After all, I wasn't expecting him to show up at first, and it's not like he'll tell anybody.

In return for that, I give him what he wants - bloody stripes down his back, bites and jagged teethmarks up and down his arm and leg, decorating every part of him that's covered during the day. It's stunning, almost sickening how he loves it, how he needs it.

It's grotesque, how he squirms.

_-he burns my skin never mind about the shape I'm in-_

He's a challenge, the way nobody else in the Cirque is. I mean, how do you find new ways to hurt somebody who's been through what he has, and still not leave any lasting damage? You're allowed to _scar _people, obviously, and his scars are already numerous enough, but nothing too conspicuous.

But I'm two hundred years old. I'm resourceful. And he loves and hates me for it. By the end of our...sessions, let's call them, he's a trembling mess running with blood (superficial but copious) and breathing hard.

And every single time, he leaves right afterwards.

Except this time.

_-blind me erase what was stillborn I have become -_

He's still trembling, still quivering with a wry, hesitant smile on his face as he sits up, but he's looking at me. I look away and pull out a cigarette. One of those damn _human _vices I enjoy so much.

"So why are you here?"

I pointedly ignore him, flicking on the lighter and holding it to the end of the cigarette. I'm keenly aware of his eyes on me, however, and I decide to be thankful, at least, that he's not using this neutral territory to try get information about Father's plan from me.

"Why are you asking?" I still don't look at him.

"Just...heh...curious." He's still out of breath, his voice shaky. I'm surprised he can even sit up after the kind of punishment I've just put him through - but I guess when somebody seeks pain the way he does, it's easier to recover.

"I'm a sadist. Thought you'd have figured that out by now." I take a puff on the cigarette, and then blow out the smoke in a thin wisp that billows out into a cloud.

"Yeah, well..." To my amazement, he's struggling to his feet, leaning heavily against the wall and rotating his automail shoulder to test for damage. "Everybody's here for a reason."

"I like to fuck people up. That's a reason."

"You know why I'm here." His face doesn't darken - he's just being open and honest. This is what the pain does for him. "I can't deal with all the crap without it." He cocks his head. "What I can't figure out is what your deal is."

"There _is _no deal," I argue, but he's not really listening. He staggers forward, limping slightly (I enjoy seeing that probably more than I should) and presses his hand - his flesh hand - to my bare chest, just above where my heart would be if I was human. If I was like him.

_-enemy of mine I'll fuck you like the devil violent inside beautiful and evil-_

I grab his hand and pull it away, squeezing until I feel his fingers start to give way. I can see the colour start to rise in his cheeks at that, but I stop just before they break. "I don't fucking care why you're here. But I'm here because I want to be. That's it. So stop asking so many fucking questions. _Got it?_"

He doesn't look satisfied, but he nods slowly. I get up and walk away, feeling his amused gaze on my back. He's always so goddamn easy to get along with after these sessions. I almost wish I felt that good afterwards.

Almost unconsciously, my hand snakes up to cover the place he touched. I wonder if he felt something shift in response beneath - a tiny, soft-skinned being made of little more than flesh and blood vessels and large, doleful eyes. It's grotesque, and it's who I am, really.

I snarl, and I'm tempted to turn around and take it all out on him again.

_-bleed it out digging deeper just to throw it away-_

But that wouldn't solve anything. This is just a little bit of release, just a little bit to take the pressure off.

Because one day it won't be enough.


	71. Blood

**Okay, this is very, very incesty. I mean, all first-anime EdxEnvy is, but this hints at Elricest as well. If you don't like that, I suggest skipping this one :P Or at least don't say I didn't warn you.**

**Also, it got really, really geeky. Sorry. XD If you don't get the hydrogen thing, look it up.**

**TheAUWalker: Glad to hear it! I really enjoyed writing it, so it's awesome that somebody has it as a favourite. Thanks for reviewing :) (Also, I'll assume by your username that you like AUs - I've got a community dedicated to 'em. The AU Club - you should go take a look.)**

**what-is-the-color-of-love: Glad you liked the chap :) And they're all good songs, you should look them up - especially if you're a fan of Linkin Park. Thanks for reviewing :)**

**Fairyboydammit: Ed as a masochist is part of my headcanon :3 And thanks, it's good that I can write the power exchange well since that's the whole reason I love Edvy. Taking control from the bottom is the best, I almost always write Ed like that. What a lot of fanfiction writers misinterpret about BDSM is that it's all about sexual gratification, while the control parts of it especially are more about the emotional release that goes with it. It's possible to have a BDSM scenario without any 'typical' sex, for example. The sexual charge itself comes from the innate trust that comes from putting your well-being - in some cases your life - into somebody else's hands. Stripping away all the usual pretenses. I'm glad I was able to write a convincing scenario, I've seen some pretty bad ones on here. Thank you for reviewing as always! (And do I need to up the rating? 'Secrets' was pushing it already for a T rating.)**

**71. Blood**

If I had lived a human life, Edward might have been my great-grandchild instead of my brother. Actually, he would have been something like my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandchild. Thirteen generations.

I told him that, and I couldn't help but feel proud that I'd worked it out all on my own. He laughed. He thought it was cute. But he quickly changed the subject, because he didn't like remembering who I was.

I'm Envy to him. Instead of William Elric...and I should be okay with that. I'm _Envy. _William is nothing but a long-forgotten memory, resuscitated in a second-rate fashion in me.

But I can't help but wonder.

_Blood calls to blood._

I know why he fears admitting it. That I am, in the end, part of his family. The family that has until now been just him and his brother - a tiny, spinning hydrogen atom, one electron and one proton, spinning wildly in the winds of fate. Add me in - the neutron, the outsider - and suddenly it becomes too heavy and the center cannot hold.

(It's funny, the things I remember being taught. Four hundred years can't erase the bastard's words as he told me these things.)

_Blood calls to blood._

And he doesn't want me in his circle. He doesn't want my love (if I had any to spare), or my protection (if I was offering it), or to give any of his in return. All he wants is my skin, my fingers, my lips and all the parts of this body that was crafted to fit this mind that doesn't belong.

He has nothing to spare, after all, when it comes to emotions. Everything comes to Alphonse, and even if I sometimes want to cry out, "But I'm your brother too!" I don't.

Because I'm not.

This blood that flows in me still sparks with the transmutation that birthed me.

It isn't the same blood that flows in his veins, after all.

So he and Al will keep on spinning, keep on holding, and I'll be the shadow they cast upon the ground. He will hold me and pretend that I'm Al in flesh and blood - and sometimes I'll even play along with the charade.

But still, I wonder.

Blood calls to blood.


	72. Unexpected

**Haha. This idea came rather unexpectedly, if you'll pardon the pun, but I like it. Also I like writing Roy. A lot. (It's a pity I suck so much at RoyEd.)**

**Sorry for the delay - between work and school, I suddenly have a lot less time to write. I'm not giving up on anything, but I am struggling with trying to actually get this written ;_;**

**Fairyboydammit: Yay! I actually looked it up to make sure I was remembering the hydrogen/deuterium thing correctly (if you happened to miss the stealth pun with 'heavy') so I'm happy it worked. And I'm one of those weird people with no limits - pair somebody with their centuries-older half-brother? Sure! Torture, kill, rape, mindfuck characters? I'm happy to XD I think people avoid incest implications with Edvy because there's none of that 'love deeper than anyone can understand' stuff like with Elricest. The implications aren't already there - it's hard to write deliberate incest when they aren't already in love in some way. As for Envy's shapeshifting being used Replacement Goldfish style, I've seen a few RoyxEnvy/RoyxEds that used that concept, but nothing where it was Ed doing it. Moral upstanding citizen and all that. /sarcasm And I think I'm going to up the rating for the next sex-centered theme I do, whenever that is. Thanks for the advice - the rating system's a bit murky :P Thanks for reviewing, your comments are always a pleasure to read :D**

**xxakikoakanexx: Bahaha. Of course it is. I'm thinking of writing a longer story based on the same idea, if that makes you happy :) Thanks for reviewing!**

**Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan: Ooh, thank you :) I like that particular paragraph too, I went back after I finished the story to rewrite it a bit. Thanks for commenting, and I promise promise PROMISE I'm gonna get back on track with updating...uh...everything :P**

**Teeshdapeech: D'aww, thank you Edvy is my favourite pairing too (obvs). I seem to be getting lots of love for that chapter, which is awesome. Thanks for reviewing!**

**72. Unexpected**

If you were to ask Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist, Hero of the People and youngest State Alchemist in history, what he hated, the list would be shockingly long and descriptive. Of course, most of it was said with his tongue firmly planted in his cheek, and about half of it required explanation. (The only explanation most people ever got, sadly, was 'you had to be there'.)

If you were to ask Edward Elric _who _he hated, the list would drop to a short but brutal five. "The hobo, the bastard, the other bastard, the fucker who looks like the bastard and the fucker who doesn't." Once again, the list required explanation, or rather translation by the second of the brothers - "Scar, Dad, the Colonel, Father and...well, Envy."

At which point Al would turn to Ed and ask quizzically, "How come you hate Envy so much and not the rest of the homunculi?"

Which Ed would always respond to with a simple, "Because he's a fucker. Now leave me alone, I'm trying to sleep."

* * *

"Oh, Fullmetal! Sorry, I didn't see you there over my paperwork."

"I've been here for _five fucking minutes,"_ Ed gritted, grinding his teeth together until he thought he could feel them eroding.

Mustang shrugged, and then leant forward with a sly smirk. "So how badly did you screw up your mission?" At Ed's shocked expression, he laughed. "Don't look so surprised, you're terrible at hiding your feelings. How much is this going to cost?"

"Nothing!" Ed jabbed a gloved finger into the Colonel's face. "Because I _didn't screw up. _So shut your bastard mouth."

"I want the full report, Fullmetal..." At Ed's sigh, sympathy won out. "...later. Just tell me what went wrong."

"Envy went wrong."

"Envy?" Mustang's eyebrows shot up past his hairline.

"Envy," echoed the blond wearily.

"Envy showed up on your mission."

"Are you going senile already? I thought that's what I said."

"Actually, what you said was -"

"Whatever!" hissed Ed, plopping down on the couch and crossing his arms indignantly. "Point is, he showed up, started pissing me off, lost my temper, nearly blew my cover."

Roy blinked, not taking his eyes off of Ed, who was steadfastly staring at the wall in an attempt to keep a blush from suffusing his face. "Congratulations, Fullmetal."

"Hanh?"

"You admitted to losing your temper. That's progress."

Ed looked askance at the Colonel. "Okay, I can't tell if you're being snarky or not. That's not good."

"I mean it in both good faith and good humour."

"Oh, fuck you."

"As much as I appreciate the offer, I hardly think it's appropriate."

The embarrassed blush that Ed had been struggling with earlier suddenly returned in full force for a completely different reason. "WHAT? I - you - hanh - what?" After almost a full minute of choking, he glared acidly at the Colonel. "HOW DO YOU DO THAT?"

"Do what?"

"You know! Stay so fucking _composed _all the time!"

Mustang laughed again. "Why wouldn't I? I let you talk long enough and you end up digging your own grave."

"Bastard."

"Your greatest weapon against someone is their own words. You're dismissed - be back here in two hours to give me a full report...and to explain exactly how you managed to destroy only the _lower_ half of a farmhouse."

* * *

It was a scant three days after his conversation with Mustang (actually more subdued that normal) when Envy showed up in Central again, on the eve of his and Al's departure for the _next _mission.

Such was his luck.

"Pst! Pipsqueak!"

Ed spun around on his heel, dropping his bag of books (he needed reading material for the train, after all) and bringing up his fists - to find nothing there except the stone statues that lined the library steps.

There was one more than usual.

One of the gargoyles split into a toothy grin. "I think you shrunk while I were gone."

"Piss off! And I'm the same goddamn height as before, bastard!"

"Haha." The gargoyle started to dance with red lightning, slowly transforming into Envy's more familiar shape. "Really, then?" Envy patted Ed on the head, his smile cruel and mocking to match his tone. "Ne, denial ain't just a river in Egypt."

"SHUT UP!"

Envy sat back, raising one hand and unfolding one white finger after another. One...Two...Three...

With a swiftness that belied his lazy pose, he lay back in open air, fingers gripping the side of the stairs and keeping him seated. He grinned as the automail blade came within a whisper of his face.

"Missed me... Jeez, you humans are so _predictable._" He sat back up, kicking Ed fiercely in the stomach. "Freaking scum of the earth, I tell you."

Ed glanced up at him, teeth clenched...and then suddenly, he remembered what Mustang had said.

_ "Your greatest weapon against someone...is their own words."_

"Oh yeah? Doesn't explain why you look at me like that, then." He plastered on a cocksure grin, although it was more of a grimace. It was a pathetic first attempt at wordplay, mostly stolen from Mustang to begin with, but it was a start.

What he didn't expect was for a faint blush to start spreading across Envy's white cheeks, darkening with every second until with a frustrated growl, the homunculus drove his fist into the alchemist's face.

"Shut _up!_" hissed Envy, obviously rattled, before running off.

* * *

"... and then he just took off! Jeez, if I'd known he was that sensitive..." Ed kept rambling, trying to avoid actually admitting that Mustang had been right.

The Colonel had lost his eyebrows somewhere in outer space at this point. "And...that's everything? That's exactly all he did?"

"Whaddaya mean, _all he did?"_ Ed pointed to the bruise on his jaw. "I'm surprised he didn't break my jaw."

Mustang began to chuckle.

"Stop it," complained Ed. "The hell are you laughing at? I don't see what's so funny about the fucker following me around everywhere. He's like a goddamn _stalker, _and -"

Mustang's chuckles turned into full-blown laughter, although he covered his mouth in an attempt to stifle it when he saw Ed's face. He took a deep breath. "Fullmetal, I believe Miss Rockbell might have some...competition."

"The hell does that mean?"

Mustang blinked, and then shrugged. "You'll figure it out. Now, your next mission is -"

"But-"

"-in the South, and -"

"-I don't -"

"Are you listening or not?"

* * *

Ed couldn't get the strange encounter with Envy out of his head, even an hour into the train ride. Al had tried talking to him a few times, only to receive one-word answers grunted distractedly.

What on _earth _had the bastard Colonel meant, Winry had competition? For _what? _Automail? That couldn't be it.

Suddenly, Ed remembered what everybody teased him about when it came to Winry. The entire squad seemed convinced that Winry was...his...girlfriend...

...which meant...

"Oh _no. No. _That's not true. Not true. Can't be. No way, no way, _no goddamn way._"

"What's the matter, Brother?"

Ed took a deep breath. "If someone...seems to, er, seems to like _spending time_ with you a lot...like, they'll go out of their way to see you...and you make a joke about them staring at you and they blush...what does that mean?"

Al stared at him for a moment. "They have a crush on you, Brother." There was a teasing note in his voice, and he poked Ed gently in the side. "Who is it?"

Ed covered his eyes with one hand. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Well.

That was unexpected.


	73. Silence

**Yay, this is actually out in reasonable-ish time! Finishing the Seven Names chapter helped a ton _ **

**Moar fluff, just because. Could be either verse, but Brotherhood seems more likely.**

**Fairyboydammit: Yaay! I've been working on my humour so that's good to hear ^^ And Roy is so, so, _so _fun to write. I barely ever write Al because, like you said, he's too passive - but Roy is Roy 3 Glad you liked it, thanks for commenting :D**

** Chapter 7: o/o yaaay :D I loved writing that one, so you have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that it has reread value.**

**Ashling Ivy: Yeah, I think I've been making him too smart XD And sounds like a good plan. Thanks for reviewing!**

**Teeshdapeech: My parental!Roy is usually pretty subtle, but I'm happy you picked up on that ^^ And the situation just made me chuckle when I thought of it, so I'm glad others find it funny too. It's just so...ED. Thanks for reviewing :D**

**RockMari: Good, good, my plan is working! Thanks for reading and reviewing so consistently!**

**73. Silence**

The storm had settled more than an hour ago, and now there was only an uneasy silence as the grey sky remembered the thunder. The darkness, no longer broken by quick, arrhythmic flashes of lightning, eased its way into every corner, slipping and sliding like black velvet even around the steadfastly glowing lanterns.

A door opened, the creak of its hinges loud and out of place. Voices drifted out, muted and lilting. A second later, a young man left the building, closing the door behind him. His brother needn't be so worried about him. He could take care of himself.

He burrowed his white-gloved hands into his pockets, shoulders hunching automatically as he shivered. He hated this time of year, but still he walked slowly down the road, drops of rain falling off of the rooftops and around him.

"Bloody weather," he muttered in irritation, before sitting down next to one of the lampposts, boots firmly planted on the road but his hands braced against the curb in an attempt to stop their incessant shaking.

He hated waiting.

However, despite his nerves, he couldn't stop his eyes from trying to close. It had been a long day, and every part of his body felt like an overplayed string. After struggling for a few minutes, his amber eyes finally slid shut, and his head slumped against the cast-iron of the lamppost with an audible 'thunk'.

It couldn't have been more than ten minutes later when another figure came down the empty street. He kept to the shadows, glancing around nervously through eyes that weren't his own - and then he found what he'd been looking for.

He closed his eyes and willed himself to change, and then opened them again, breathing out as he settled back into the body he preferred over all others. Dropping into a crouch in the circle of light, he grinned, baring all of his sharp teeth.

"Pipsqueak," he called out quietly, but the boy didn't stir. With a wry chuckle, Envy sat down next to him, before pressing their sides close. "Wake up, silly."

Ed stirred slightly, but most likely as a reaction to having somebody close - and, in a moment that the homunculus was never going to let him live down, he flopped over and slid his head into Envy's lap with a contented purr as he promptly went back to sleep.

Envy blinked, suppressing his first instinct to shove Ed away. After a heartbeat, he allowed himself to smile, tangling his long fingers in the blond's unkempt ponytail. Silence reigned again.

He didn't mind.


	74. Shiver

**Okay, enough fluff. XD Also, this is a perfect example of how I will go to any lengths to be creative with a theme :P (Also FF is being a butt. If format goes to shit I apologize.)**

**Fairyboydammit: Sometimes I just don't feel like putting so much thought into plot, and I just want to make something pretty. And that's when fluff happens. Thank you for the review :) This is def. one of the ones I want to make into fanart, but I don't have the skill *sadface***

**Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan: Naw, I don't think it makes me better, it's just a different style. I like to keep things subtle, but not everyone likes reading or writing that kind of thing. I can't wait to read your second oneshot :D and thanks for reviewing! (And I wanna write your giftfic alreadyyyy)**

** Chapter 72: The first section was incredibly fun to write. I'm tempted to transpose it into HotP because it's the kind of thing that would suit Will and Alex so well, although Alex would be snarkier. And Roy...Roy is just an awesome character. It makes me want to write RoyEd, except my RoyEd would be...weird.**

74. Shiver

It was kind of funny. Envy had never thought he'd had much of a world, but when it came crashing down around him, it suddenly seemed invaluable, priceless beyond words.

"You're..._what?" _he asked weakly, not trusting his senses.

"I'm dying," repeated Ed again, staring at his hands - both flesh, both warm, both real, but at what cost?

Envy shook his head slowly. "I - I don't - how? _Why?"_

"It's the same thing Mom had, I know that much. I figure it's some sort of degeneration, but probably internal."

"You - you _figure? _Have you _seen _a doctor?"

When Ed shook his head, Envy was tempted to hit him. "You should be happy," said the blond in a quiet voice. "I'm your jailer. If I die, you're free - Al can't bear to keep anyone locked up -"

"How can you _say _that?" the homunculus interrupted, surprised at the emotion in his voice. Apparently Ed was too, at how he started back slightly. He leapt to his feet. "I'm not fucking _happy _that you're d-_dying!"_

Ed laughed, but it was hollow. "You wouldn't have minded so much a year ago."

"That was a year ago," mumbled Envy. They were silent for a moment before he spoke again. "Have you told Al yet?"

He shook his head. "Not going to."

"What? Why? He's your brother, he -"

"-will do everything in his power to fix it, even if it kills him," Ed finished, looking up at Envy with bright eyes. "I got to see him healthy and happy - I got to see him the way he's supposed to be. I'll be fine."

Envy couldn't think of anything more he could say. He'd spent a year under house-arrest in Rizenbul with the boys who'd defeated his family, destroyed all of them except for him and Pride, and he still didn't understand them. He still didn't understand their love for each other.

All he understood was that Ed was dying, and he couldn't stop it. He could stop a bullet, he could stop a knife, hell, he even knew how to stop poison, but he couldn't stop this.

Even if, for the first time in his life, he wanted to.

"You're shivering," he said finally, and it wasn't a lie. Ed was shaking slightly in the crisp autumn air - was it the cold, or the sickness already starting to take hold? Leaning in, he wrapped his arms tentatively around him, and felt him stiffen, and then relax. Envy rarely touched any of the members of the household on his own, but now he was burying his face into Ed's shoulders, trying to puzzle out how words could strike him to the heart.

Ed pressed his face against the top of Envy's head, arm rising to wrap around the slim boy's shoulders. Envy could feel him smile, and he realized that Ed was trying to comfort _him._

It was so backwards.

Something slid down his cheek, and it wasn't until it fell past both of their bodies and shattered on the wooden floorboards did Envy realize what it was.

He was crying.

Somewhere along the way, Ed had become Envy's world.


	75. Betrayal

Fairyboydammit: Yay, thank you! That's my idea for Envy's motivation in any post-Brotherhood drabbles. I'm glad you liked this - it's one of the ones I would love to continue. And I would love, love, LOVE to see some Silence fanart from you! I'm all excited now! Thanks for reviewing 3

**Okay, I was kinda stuck for ideas on this one, so I did a 100-word drabble :D Also, officially three-quarters of the way through! WOO!**

**75. Betrayal**

"I'm not a good person," he whispered afterwards, as they lay wrapped around each other in a tangle of hot, exhausted limbs. "I'm going to betray you, and I'm going to hurt you."

"I know that," murmured his lover, smiling sadly as he traced the homunculus's thin cheek with a steel hand. "S'worth it anyway."

Envy looked up, his purple eyes meeting Ed's gold ones and betraying his surprise. Then, he chuckled softly, nuzzling his face into the crook of the teen's shoulder and neck.

"Huh, well...maybe I'll go and surprise you then. You know I hate being predictable."


	76. Voices

**Sorry for the wait! This one took me ages, for no real reason. I love writing any incarnation of Nina, even though this one has different parents.**

**Also, is anybody interested in betaing Hero of the People? My old beta had some issues with her computer and doesn't have time anymore :( (And I'm working on Chapter 9, I swear.)**

**Fairyboydammit: It is a trademark, but I can't buck the trend with EVERY oneshot, ya know...XD And I do drabbles mostly when I'm feeling bad for not updating or it's a really simple idea I want to communicate. Uncertainty...that kind of defines EdxEnvy, doesn't it? Anyway, thanks for reviewing!**

**Call Me Tom: About time, you silly goose. I was wondering where you'd toddled off to. I'm glad I did Ed well, I feel like sometimes I make him too perceptive when he's...really..._not. _Feels are good :D That's one of the ones I'd really like to do a continuation of...although it all comes down to the poll I'll put up when I've finished all 100 of these :3**

** Chapter 75: I love your description of drabbles...even if it makes me a drug dealer, haha. I'm glad this one got you fired up, the last legit drabble I did for this collection was 'eh'. And trust me. You will have PLENTY to read when this is done XD Just because I've done all 100 themes doesn't mean I'm done with the ideas. Anyhoodles thanks for reviewing ^^**

**Violetlight: Chapter 19: Wow, thank you! This is one I've gotten a lot of praise for, especially from non-Edvy shippers. So it's super awesome you like it - and you're right, I should make a non-fanfiction version...**

** Chapter 30: YOU WOULD WRITE THE BEST LUSTxENVY. Do eeeet. And I hope interesting's good, I've never written the pairing before this.**

** Chapter 52: I haven't actually seen the movie, I just knew Creta was one of the less-stable countries surrounding Amestris. (Are ANY of them stable?) And I think it's more the reverse - I like to think that if Kimblee was used as a sacrifice, he'd end up taking in a bunch of Father's power instead. In insanity lies power, but in sanity lies restraint. **

** Chapter 61: Damn, I knew I should have looked it up. I just kind of went with my gut :P And I debated having them do that, but it didn't feel right as far as Envy went. I dunno. It was more fun having them dance around each other. I'm glad you like this one, though, specially since you're a EnGreed person yourself XD**

** Chapter 69: Yeah, the other poems are kinda sappy, I'll admit it. I'm glad you liked this one, though, I wanted to explore the 'dragon' concept a bit more since almost everything concentrates on Envy's usual form. And reptiles are just plain awesome :B**

** Chapter 72: Heehee. Love writing Roy. I'm glad it made you laugh, I like writing funny ones but I'm always worried that no one else will get the joke. Thank you so much for all your reviews! (And I'm totes gonna play with Envy's gender some more. JUST FOR YOU 3) **

**76. Voices**

Nina opened her eyes to the sound of raised voices. She hadn't been asleep - unlike her younger sister, she liked lying awake and savouring the darkness - but she'd been halfway there.

But these were voices she didn't know. She recognized Mama's voice, and Papa's, but there were others mingled in as well. (She'd always been good at recognizing voices; at picking them out from the jumble.)

She closed her eyes again, trying to hear the words - and then suddenly they jumped out at her with alarming precision.

"I don't want him - her - it - whatever, hanging around my children!"

"Winry, he's reformed, he's fine, he's -"

"Win, try to be fair, please -"

"_He killed Hughes!"_

That made Nina's eyes snap open again. She'd heard of Maes Hughes before - how could she not? All the big people thought she wasn't listening when they talked about how much like him little Maes was becoming. Uncle Roy thought she was too young to see how sad he got when Maes started snapping pictures or gushing over how cute Sarah was.

She sighed. She hated being treated like she didn't understand - she was almost _six, _that was old enough!

_Well, _she decided with a huff of finality, _they're not keeping this from me._

Easing herself out of bed, she crept over to the door, hopping over the floorboard that always creaked. Sarah was still asleep - thank goodness - but she was still careful opening the door, letting only a little light flood through before darting outside and closing it behind her.

Slowly, she walked over to the banister along the second floor, staring down as she closed her hands around the bars. Papa and Mama were arguing with someone she'd only ever seen in pictures.

Nina knew his name, though. Uncle Ed.

She swallowed. She'd never seen her uncle before, only heard stories about him growing up with Papa and Mama. He looked...well, different than she'd expected. He looked like Papa - he had the same colour hair and eyes - but it was long like a girl's, tied back into a high ponytail that got messier and messier as he buried his hands in his hair in frustration.

"Winry, please...I... look, they're my nieces, they're the closest thing to kids I'm ever gonna _have -"_

"And why's that my problem? I am perfectly fine with you coming to visit, but _not him. _I've wanted you to be part of their lives, but only you!"

They were too busy fighting to notice her - or, she realized, the person sitting about halfway up the steps, watching them with a wistful expression.

She dropped to her hands and knees, crawling to the top of the stairs, and then walking carefully down, hoping that the three adults wouldn't notice her.

"Hi," she whispered, and the person swivelled around in surprise. She held out her hand. Just because everybody else seemed to be forgetting their manners didn't mean _she _would - Granny 'Zumi had been very particular about that. "I'm Nina. What'th yourth?" She winced at hearing her lisp.

The person raised an eyebrow, but didn't take her hand. Nina wasn't sure if they were a girl or a boy, but they had long hair like Uncle Ed, the same colour as the leaves on the trees outside. They were wearing girl clothes too, a skirt and a weird shirt, but they didn't _look _like a girl...It was confusing. So she stopped thinking about it.

"You're the tin can's brat, aren't you?" they murmured, smiling slightly.

Nina blinked. "Who'th the tin can?"

"Alphonse."

"Oh! Yeah, that'th my papa."

After a moment, the green-haired newcomer took her tiny hand, almost completely enveloping it in their own. "I'm Envy."

"Envy? That'th a cool name. Papa and Mama have boring names."

Envy chuckled slightly. "First time I've heard that one. Shouldn't you be asleep?"

Nina nodded towards the arguing adults. "They woke me up." She cocked her head. "How old are you? You don't look very old."

They snorted. "Can't believe you _asked _me that. You're what, three?"

"I'm thix! Uh, almotht."

"Yeah, well, I'm two hundred and eighty."

"Really?" She sat down next to him (which is what she'd settled on), not noticing how he stiffened. "Wow, you're even older than Papa."

"Yeah..." But Envy was watching the three adults again.

Nina watched them for a while, and then said quietly. "It'th not very nice when people talk about you like you're not here, ith it?"

He glanced back at her, eyebrow quirked, and then he exhaled. He didn't respond. He didn't need to. Instead, Envy looked back over at - Nina realized, following his odd, dark eyes - Uncle Ed.

"Uncle Ed ith really pretty," she murmured, and couldn't stifle a giggle when Envy nodded distractedly.

"Hey - no - wait - you _brat!" _He raised his hand, and then thought better of it, poking her fiercely in the side. Still, she couldn't stop giggling.

Finally, she looked up, to see Papa, Mama and Uncle Ed staring at her and Envy with strange, almost horrified expressions. Finally, Mama jerked her arm towards the door.

"_Out," _she said, in a low, angry voice.

"But I - she just came down, okay? I didn't do anything -" Envy tried to argue.

"I said _out!"_

Nina glanced between them, and then let out a whimper as Envy got to his feet. "Fine, yeah, whatever. Don't wanna be around a bitch like you anyway -"

"No!" she said finally, but nobody paid any attention. She leapt towards Envy and wrapped her hands around his middle - or as close to it as she could reach. "Mama, thtop being mean!"

Mama blinked, her blue eyes showing her shock more than anything could.

"Thtop being mean," Nina said again. "I don' want Envy to leave, he'th awesome nice and he has a cool name and he thinkth Uncle Ed is pretty and I don't want him to _go!"_

"Nina," she said warningly, "this isn't about you -"

"Winry." Mama turned to look at Papa. "How about we give him a chance?"

"Al, I can't believe you're -"

Papa shrugged. "Nina doesn't want him to go - and I want my brother back."

Mama looked back at them, distrust and love warring in her eyes. Finally, she pointed a finger at Envy's face. "One incident. _One. _And I'll kick the both of you out."

"A-hem." Uncle Ed cleared his throat. "I think we're all missing what's really important. What was that about me being pretty?"


	77. Library

EDIT: Okay, redone, because my idea kind of got lost and I could have done better and so I'm breaking one of my own rules and actually going back and trying to do better. This is 2003 anime canon.

**Years and years ago, I started writing a story in which Envy goes to the library and makes friends with a librarian, and then starts learning about everything he can. It was actually pretty cool, and it made sense even though it was first-anime canon, since language would have changed quite a bit since the 1500s. I still have the notebook with the story in it, and the concept here is similar, if not quite the same.**

**Teeshdapeech: If you like AUs, you'll like the next one. And I don't know why but I've been in a reeeeally fluffy mood lately. Thanks for commenting!**

**TheAUWalker: Heehee. I actually kept writing for like a page after that, and then went "Wait...no..." and cut it off right there. And thank you for the compliment ^^ I've found an editor, but thanks for the offer :D Thanks for reviewing (and you will like the next chapter!)**

**Fairyboydammit: I don't know why I'm writing so many cute ones ._. I'm ruining my rep! XD But I always imagine Envy as being surprisingly _good _with kids - when he isn't killing them - because kids hate pretense, and powers aside Envy's a shitty actor. He can't lie to save his life (No, I didn't kill Hughes, I dunno what you're talkin' about) and he doesn't try to be all cutey and stuff. Honestly, kids appreciate that. Thanks for the offer, by the way, but I've found meself an editor :) And also thanks for reviewing :D**

**Violetlight: Yeah, I should have used different names, but it didn't actually occur to me until later that it would be a good idea xD Besides, Al loved Nina too ;_; I shipped Al/Win for a long time before I saw Brotherhood and was introduced to the awesomeness that is BeanGirl. I'll probably get around to Milos at some point, it does look pretty cool. And I can't promise anything, I'm deciding what I'm going to continue based on a poll at the end of all 100 themes. That's definitely one of the poll options though XD Thanks for reviewing, I'm glad you liked it!**

**Shade40: Yeah, Nina's a common name for Elric kids, although in this case she's Al's child instead of Ed's. I've seen this situation often enough, sadly, that it just seemed perfectly natural. I was originally going to have them be lovers and that was just another reason Winry didn't want them around, but it ended up not working that way. (The original draft made it clear that Ed was kidding around about the 'pretty' comment.) The reason why Nina's even there is to show that it doesn't even occur to her that it's weird for Envy to find Ed pretty. Ahh, innocent kids. How cute and awesome you are. Anyway thanks for reviewing, and I'm glad you liked it :)**

**what-is-the-colour-of-love: Let alone why ENVY was saying it XD Thanks for stopping by, haven't heard from you in a while :)**

**GBlackwell: Oh god, I laughed so hard at your review I think I broke a rib. I didn't even bother with subtext, I just wanted to pile confusion and awkwardness on Ed - and I'm really, really happy you found it funny. "A hero being stalked by a four-hundred-year-old genderless abomination that has developed a crush on him" oh my ribs. XD Thanks for reviewing! (I missed you and your walls of text.)**

**Call Me Tom: YES DW I'm a big fan - especially of that episode. I've actually got two oneshots up for it, one of them for that episode XD And Envy is just awesome with kids because he doesn't even bother pretending. Winry...Winry is loud, opinionated and doesn't let anyone bully her into anything. Sadly in situations such as this, especially when her kids are involved, that means she's a bit of a bitch. And I knowwwww it's making ME angst! (But hey, SNEA and HotP.) Thanks for reviewing, lubberly.**

**77. Library**

Ed knew the homunculi were - individual sins aside - capricious, spiteful creatures. He'd figured out that much.

So when he saw a familiar head of green hair at the other end of the Second Branch Military Library, he assumed the worst.

Envy's first hint, however, was a pair of white-gloved hands slamming into the table in front of him with their usual asymmetrical sound. "Can't I have _one _place without you bastards invading?" he hissed.

Envy glanced up into Ed's eyes, broiling and sparking with anger, and then back down at the book, turning a page idly. "Not everything's about you, pipsqueak."

"I'M MORE THAN A SPECK IN YOUR EYE, FREAK!"

Envy ignored him, even though it was tempting just to reach up and rip out an eyeball. Honestly. The idiot alchemist needed to remember that Envy could _do _that. Only Dante's orders prevented him.

"And why else would you be here, except to torture me? It's not like your kind are _bursting _with intellectual fervour."

"My, my, big words, shorty. They're bigger than you are." _I'm probably better read than you, jackass, _hissed the less-composed part of him.

"SHUT UP, ASSHOLE!" Ed screamed, only to be shushed by a librarian. "Come on. What do you want from me _now?"_

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"I'm reading."

Ed snorted. "The book's upside-down, jerk."

Envy glanced down, unable to keep a flush from tainting his pale cheeks. It was one of those stupid human impulses that was part of his chosen shape. "Is...is it?" He tried to be nonchalant, turning it the right way around. He thought. He missed scrolls.

Ed glanced down, and snorted again. "And besides, am I supposed to believe that you're reading about tax law?"

"Tax law?"

"See? I knew you weren't really reading!" Ed smirked, and Envy held back his impulse to punch him in the face. It wasn't worth the trouble it would make. "If you're going to spy on me, why don't you at least take on another form?"

"Because I wasn't spying! I didn't even know you were here, now leave me alone." Envy scowled, lifting the book in front of his face and focusing intently on one group of squiggles that looked meaningful. This was what happened when you assumed everybody spoke the same language. Or at least wrote in the same _direction._

It was a surprisingly long time afterwards - at least a few minutes - when an automail hand appeared on top of the book, pushing it down and forcing him to look across the table where Ed had seated himself.

"What?" spat Envy, trying to pull the book back up.

"Envy, can you even _read?"_

Again with the goddamn human impulses. Envy felt his entire face go red. "_Yes," _he growled.

"You can't, can you?"

"Piss off. I can."

Ed was struggling not to smirk. "You're, what, how many years old and you can't _read?"_

"I can _totally _read. Shut up. And for your information - _midget - _tax law is absolutely _fascinating." _He pulled up the book, hiding his oh-too-expressive face. Goddamn humans.

"How the hell can you not read?"

"I don't know, how the hell have you not grown? I can read, asshole, now leave me alone."

"To keep spying on me."

Envy groaned. "I'm not _spying! _If I was spying, don't you think I'd be a bit more subtle about it? Jeez. Can't even go out in my own clothes without getting suspected..."

Ed snorted. "Because you're always up to something."

"Well," he sneered back, "right now I'm figuring out what the _hell _there is in common between Xi and this letter...whatever it is."

The alchemist leant over, and said offhandedly, "Oh, there's no connection. That's e, which is closer to Epsilon. Xi is the same as K - hold on, wait, what?"

"Uh." Envy looked up at the alchemist. "You know Xerxian?"

"Only the alphabet. The hell are you doing trying to translate a tax law book into Xerxian?"

Envy slammed the book shut with a glare. "I'm not."

"Then why?" Ed smiled disarmingly. "You might as well tell me. What am I gonna do about it anyway?"

Of course, the homunculus laughed at that. "How about I just kill you?"

"Nah, you won't do that."

"Why?"

"Cause we're in a library."

Envy could only stare at him with disbelief before hiding behind the book again. "I can speak Amestrian but I can't read or write it. But don't even think of trying to get anything past us that way, my brothers and sisters can read it fine."

"Oh. Okay."

"Now will you leave me alone?"

"Fine."

Ed didn't leave the library for another half-hour, though, and just before he did, he slid a book in front of the still-reading Envy.

"For the record, this didn't happen," he muttered in an embarrassed tone. Envy merely snorted in return - before looking at the book.

_The Xerxian Alphabet _by _Van Hohenheim._

Envy growled, tempted to chuck the book at the alchemist's retreating back - and then stopped.

He could figure out the Amestrian alphabet first. _Then _he'd incinerate both the book and the stupid brat alchemist, preferably in the hottest of flames.

And they said he couldn't prioritize.


	78. Conflict

**A little AU that's a blend between Labyrinth and Rumpelstiltzskin. I've been looking forwards to this one for AGES.**

**Also, from now on I'm going to use the review-reply feature, because the replies are clogging things up too much. Sorry to anybody who likes reading them (aka nobody) but it's just easier that way. ^^**

**Finally, Library has been rewritten, so click the back button and take a looksies! I don't often redo oneshots, but I just felt like I could have communicated my idea a lot better (Thank you to Shade40, Violetlight and GBlackwell for pointing out the weirdness.)**

78. Conflict

It had been a petty little argument, really. At the time, it had seemed so important, but now Ed could barely remember what it had been about.

Because Al was gone, disappeared into thin air, and standing on the windowsill with an unearthly glow was the man who had taken him.

"Give me back my brother," he managed to spit out.

"Why?" asked the creature. "What's said is said."

"Goddammit, I didn't actually _mean _it! I don't even -" His words turned to ashes in his dry mouth. "I don't even _believe _in things like you."

"Things? Well, that's nice."

"I want my brother back!"

The creature, regal and snakelike, lounged against the side of the bay window, an amused expression flicking over his face. "Go back to your room, Edward. You're free now to do _whatever you want."_

"Only thing I want is Al!"

The creature sighed. "I brought you a present..." he said idly, and a crystal ball appeared in his hand. He twisted it around his arm, defying every law of physics as he did, and then flicked it in the air, catching it again in his other hand. "Want it?"

Ed blinked, trying to decide whether it was safer to keep his gaze focused on the intruder's face (in his eyes) or on the crystal (into a place unknown and far away and he could feel it slipping -)

-so he wrested his head towards the ground, staring at his feet in a rare gesture of submission. "You're...the Goblin King, aren't you?"

"Very good, Edward," came the mocking voice, tantalizingly androgynous. "Now, about your gift."

"What is it?" Ed found himself asking. There was a magnetic force pulling his head upwards, but he fought to keep his gaze on the floor, where his bare feet kneaded the oyster-grey carpet.

"It's a crystal, nothing more. But..." Finally, Ed looked up, and let out a small, surprised gasp when he realized that the Goblin King was only a few inches away from him. _He hadn't even heard him move._

A strand of emerald-green hair tickled the teen's cheek as the creature lifted the crystal between them. "If you turn it this way and look into it...it will show you your dreams."

"Mom..." came the involuntary whisper, and then Ed bit his lip in consternation as the creature smiled.

"But this isn't a present for somebody too busy taking care of their little _brother _to use it. If you want it, then let him go."

"Never," spat Ed, willing his feet to move. His skin was both crawling and sparking at being so close to something so..._other. _"I promised I'd keep him safe, I promised! You can't - Give him _back!"_

The smile dropped off of the Goblin King's face, replaced by a rather ugly sneer. "Don't -" he grabbed Ed's arm, "-defy - me."

"I'll do what I like, bastard. Now give me back my _brother!"_

"As you wish."

Suddenly they were...elsewhere. One moment they had been standing in Alphonse's bedroom, and now there was a warm wind blowing through Ed's hair and against his bare arms.

He turned to where the Goblin King lounged against a tree, skin-tight black outfit clinging to every muscle. "Where are we?"

The King pointed into the distance. "There's my palace. Around it is a labyrinth. You've got 13 hours, Edward, and if you're not at the palace by that time..." He shrugged, grinning and baring every sharp tooth. "Then your _brother _will become one of _us."_

Ed scowled at the thought, and then looked back at the Labyrinth. "It's not that far -"

"One last thing."

"What now?"

"Once you reach the palace, you must tell me my name."

He snorted. "What, did you forget it?"

The King didn't laugh. "If you don't, then not only do I get to keep your brother..." He reached out, touching one long finger to Ed's chest. "I get to keep _you."_

He faded away with a Cheshire grin that lingered in Ed's mind for a long time.

"Well," he finally said with a cheerfulness he didn't feel, "come on, feet..."

* * *

So Edward Elric made his way through the labyrinth, and spoke to Hoggle the fairy-catcher, and the worm in the wall, and solved the puzzle of the Knights and Knaves. He found his way out of the Oubliette and ran from the Cleaners, and deciphered the clues of the Wiseman and his Hat. He saved Ludo Bigfoot and encountered the two knockers. He danced with the Fire Dancers, and throughout it all, he took every hint he could and racked his brains to figure out the Goblin King's name.

* * *

"You made it," said the King drily, draped over his throne and twirling three crystal balls in his hand. "Funny, I thought taking three hours off would screw you for sure."

Ed stuck his hands in his pocket, casting a cocky grin up at the faerie. The Unseelie wasn't trying _nearly _as hard to impress him now.

Good.

"I'm here at the palace, Goblin King. Now give me my brother." His voice echoed off the domed roof and around the palace. _Brother...brother...brother..._ In his peripheral vision he could see the goblins climb out of the wings in droves and groups, watching him keenly.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" The King got to his feet, still twirling the crystals and glittering with the dark sparkles that festooned the entire world Ed had found himself in. He walked down the steps, inky cape billowing and shifting behind him like a veil. "You have to tell me my name."

Ed bit the inside of his mouth. "Your name. You want me to guess your name."

He chuckled. "Exactly. Betcha can't do it." He walked halfway around Ed, leaning down slightly to whisper, "You're wrong, by the way."

Ed didn't smile, flinching slightly as the Unseelie grasped the back of his neck. "I know what they call you. They call you Envy the Jealous."

He could almost feel the King's smirk. "That's what they _call _me. But that's not what I asked for, Edward. I asked for my name -"

"And I have it."

The King walked around Ed again, a frown etching itself onto his pale, thin face. "No, you don't."

Ed closed his eyes. He could see the old photographs now, the albums faded with time, the things he hadn't been supposed to find.

"Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered..."

Envy the Jealous barked a laugh. "What kind of poppycock is that you've learned? Stop trying to buy time. Admit you don't know."

"...I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the goblin city..." Ed took a deep breath, and then jerked his head upwards, staring into Envy's purple eyes, transfixing the Goblin with his golden gaze. "For my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom as great -"

"Don't you want to stay here? Be one of _us?" _Envy's voice had taken on a pleading tone. "Why would you want to stay human? A pathetic, mewling, _mortal _creature?"

Ed raised his hand to the Goblin King's cheek, feeling how cold the skin was under his palm and watching how the Unseelie flinched away. He lowered his voice to a husky whisper. "You have no power over me...William."

The Goblin King fell away. In his place, shaking with wide, golden eyes just the same as Edward's own was the little boy who'd been stolen away so long ago, beyond the reach of Edward's memory – but not his father's photographs. "Not fair," he murmured bitterly, before he too disappeared.

The Labyrinth smeared away, dissolving into a mess of colour - and suddenly Al was cradled in Ed's arms, grey eyes blinking slowly open.

They were home.


	79. Barriers

**Half poem, half story. Also weird as hell. Sorry. It makes more sense (kind of?) if you read it out loud.**

79. Barriers

They are not honest people.

Envy knows this, Edward knows this.

They're liars, deceivers, disbelievers and tainted dreamers.

They are not honest people (he says again). They talk, yes, but only of things that don't matter.

Ed says he'll find a way, Envy says he'll leave someday. (Lies.)

(All lies.)

But even in the tangled web that's their affair, there are things, places, areas marked 'Do Not Cross'. Otherwise all they've gained is lost.

(But rules are meant to broken barriers are meant to be crossed and)

Ed opens his mouth and asks who he was.

"Who?"

"The one before me."

"There was no one before you -"

"It was one of the others, wasn't it?"

The truth is laid bare for all to see.

Envy tears himself from his arms and stands by the window, ready to leap away and pretend the line has not been stepped over.

Ed sits up, silent and waiting.

Envy wonders why he hasn't just lashed out, crashed out, smashed this boy to pieces -

(Because he's blown the dust off the trapdoor, found the broken heart beneath it.)

"He left me -" he whispers, voice an eddy in the wind, a victim of chance. "He left me -"

"I won't," comes a promise, and it's a drop of truth in their dizzying dance. "Not if I can help it."

And two arms (silver and flesh) wrap around him so he won't forget.

And those aren't tears. He doesn't cry.

(And in the end, he never does say goodbye.)


	80. Empty

**Haha. Betcha thought this would be super emo. Brotherhood, in some weird future where Envy switched sides or was given a second chance or something. And Ed and Winry didn't get married :P**

**I actually wrote this one a while ago, so it's a bit odd. Mostly I wanted to have fun with Envy being weird in first person.**

**Pretty fluffy, although it doesn't start that way.**

**80. Empty**

The floor was covered in empty bottles and boxes of all kinds. It was disgusting. I always knew humans were slobs – I mean, it's not like I was a clean freak, but at least I tried to clean up after myself. Well, that's what Gluttony was for. Had been for. Bah.

"Helloooo?" I called into the apartment. Mostly for appearances – I mean, I could _see _him. But I was trying to live as a human now (boooring) so I had to be all polite and shit. No more awesome window entrances.

He didn't move from the couch. It was definitely him – nobody else was enough of a dumbass to wear that _stupid _red coat, not even his brother. And he was definitely out cold.

Well, with that amount of bottles scattered around, I could always say I'd been worried for his safety. Which was _kind _of true. It was a better defense than 'I was curious, Your Honour'. And hey, he'd left the door open. Well, unlocked. Well, easily unlocked. If you were a shapeshifter.

Humans and their _rules._

I picked my way through the minefield of bottles, boxes and cans, giving some of them a poke with my toe. Whiskey, beer, vodka – I'd never taken the pipsqueak for a drinker, and I figured at least one of these would have knocked him down within a minute, considering his size. Then again, apparently he'd been AWOL for about two weeks or so.

"Ew," I muttered. Alcohol tasted _bad, _and getting drunk wasn't worth the fifty or so drinks it took. Being heavy had its downsides.

Now to wake him up. He was face down on the couch, snoozing softly, but I had the feeling it would take a fair bit to wake him up. That, and I was pissed off that I wasn't allowed to kill anyone anymore, and I had to take the second-best option – irritating _him._

A few moments later, I dumped a bucket of cold water on his head and was rewarded with the wonderful sight of the pipsqueak spluttering and snorting before fixing his eyes on me.

"ENVY! The hell are you doing in my apartment oww my head…" He sank back down onto the couch, clutching his head and making a really annoying whimpering sound. I rolled my eyes. He could take a beating from a homunculus, go through automail surgery, be used as a sacrifice, get stabbed through the stomach with a steel girder and a thousand other punishments, but he couldn't handle a _hangover?_

"Poor wee Edo had too much to drink?"

"I'm not fuckin' short anymore, so shut your dumb face and get out of my apartment."

I rolled my eyes. "You're gonna give yourself liver damage."

"So? What do you care?" he muttered.

"If you die, who am I gonna pick on?"

"Not gonna die."

I groaned again, and poked him sharply in the side. "Sit up and let me sit down or I'll sit on you."

"Go ahead."

"Need I remind you –"

"RIGHT YES I FORGOT," he interrupted in an alarmed voice, hurriedly sitting up before I could make good on my threat. I looked skinny, but he knew what I really looked like – and _weighed._ (Grr.)

I seated myself primly next to him. "There we go. That's how to treat a guest."

"Fatass."

I smacked him. "Why are you drinking yourself to death anyway?"

"None of your beeswax."

I smacked him again. "Immortal, awesome homunculus versus hungover alchemist who can't alchemize. Who wins?"

"Shut up."

"I'm surprised your brother hasn't dragged you out of this shithole –" I stopped at the look on his face, and then grinned. _Bingo. Got my answer. _"Oh, so it's your brother that's got you miserable? C'mon, tell me. I'm bored and I wanna know."

Ed clasped his hands together, twiddling his thumbs. He looked pensive, and I crossed my fingers discreetly, hoping that this wouldn't turn into some Freudian buddy-spilling thing. The last thing I wanted was some hungover teen crying all over me, or to be dealing with his problems.

"He's got a girlfriend, and I never see him anymore."

And suddenly things had crossed into 'squick' territory. "You're _jealous?_"

"Kinda, yeah."

"You wanna screw your _brother_?"

_That _got him moving. He got to his feet, features a mask of total and absolute horror. "ARE YOU SERIOUS? No! No nonono! Never never never! Never ever ever in this lifetime or the next or the last or after that or the previous –"

"Okay, point gotten. Sit the fuck down."

"We just used to do _everything _together and suddenly he's spending all his time with her! It's like…" Ed gesticulated uselessly. I wondered if he was still a bit drunk. "I dunno. I did _everything _for him, right? Practically raised him."

I leant back on the sofa. "So what you're saying is," I delivered in a deadpan voice, "you're pissed because your brother is more grown-up than you?"

"That's not what I'm saying at all!"

"That's _exactly _what you're saying. Jesus, you humans are so idiotic. Oh, I'm gonna risk my life and everything there is to get your body back, now stay _exactly the same!_"

Ed was glaring at me, looking just about ready to kill something. (Probably me. Wouldn't be the first time.) "That's – that's not why."

"Yeah. Yeah it is. So, my solution –" despite my assertion that I didn't want to deal with his problems, "-is to either get you a girlfriend, or at least get you a quick fuck." I stroked my chin. "Although looking like you do right now you'd be lucky to get a waitress to take your order."

Ed continued to glare at me. Obviously he didn't think much of my 'sex solves everything' theory. Funny, most humans seemed to love it.

"Luckily you have a shapeshifter on your side."

Oh, it was _fun _watching him freak out. I pinned him to the sofa before he could flee, straddling his hips and holding both his wrists with one hand – keeping my weight on my knees and off of him, of course – I didn't find Ed Pancake particularly attractive.

"So, what do you feel for? I can do just anything you like. Your pretty mechanic? The sharpshooting Lieutenant – well, I guess she's a Captain now – the beautiful Maria Ross?"

Ed squeezed his eyes shut as I cycled through each of the forms, each of them as nude and buxom as the next. "N-none of them!"

"Oh? Who, then? I can probably fix up something custom –"

"_No girls!_" he squeaked, and I stopped, lifting an eyebrow as I processed exactly what that meant –

Oh.

_Ohhh. _Well, that explained a _hell _of a _hell _of a lot.

"Huh. Okay." Pause. "I take it you _haven't _told your brother."

He shook his head, cheeks red. "Haven't figured how yet."

"Alright. Huh." Pause again. "_Huh._" A final beat – then back down to business. I shifted back to my normal form instinctively. "So what kinda men do you like?"

"I – I –"

"I mean, I can kind of see the Colonel's appeal, but that Second Lieutenant has his own charm – and I suppose if it's _really _your thing I could do Armstrong, or if you feel like sexy hobo Ishvalan –"

"_Envy!_" I stopped, looking down at Ed. He'd opened his eyes, and was looking up at me, cheeks just as red as before.

"What?"

"You're…" He took a deep breath. "You're great just the way you are."

Now it was _my _turn to blush. To be honest, I didn't hear that a whole lot. 'Palm tree freak' was a common one, up to 'murderous psychopath' from those who knew who I was. It'd been a year since the Promised Day and I hadn't found my place yet.

Maybe I'd been looking too hard.

"Uh. I. Thank you." Was I _stammering? _Homunculi didn't _stammer, _they didn't _blush, _they didn't freak out and get all happy when they got _complimented, _they didn't do any of that –

-but I guess humans did.

Good enough for me.

I leant back, chuckling slightly at the disappointed look on his face, then grabbed his collar and pulled him on top of me.

"A-are you sure you're alright with this?" the idiot began to say. "I mean, I don't want this to just be because –"

"Ed. Shut up and kiss me."

So he did.


	81. Birthday

**Exactly 800 words! So, 8 drabbles. I didn't want to do the typical fluffy kind of thing for this prompt, so then I had this idea. I've been wanting to do more with Dante for a while, and I realized just how many 'birthdays' Envy would have...2003 canon, doy.**

**More angst/dark. Because it's fun :3 Also, look up the symptoms for mercury poisoning.**

**81. Birthday**

He was so small, but his teeth were sharp and it hurt when he clasped upon her swollen breast. For a moment, Dante began to panic - she'd been told the instincts of motherhood would rush upon her, but there was nothing. She ached from the birth, and the midwife's voice was grating and unpleasant. But then Hohenheim bent over both of them, touched William's nose with his finger, and said in an awed, loving voice, "Happy birthday, son." He looked so beautiful at that moment, glowing with pride, and she decided that maybe, she could pretend (just for a while).

* * *

It was his thirteenth birthday. For thirteen years she had shared her husband with the intruder (that shared their blood too). Today was not just the birth of her son, but of her envy, cold and cruel - and it was the day she began to seed his food with poison, all the while asking Hohenheim in a fluttering voice if he shouldn't be more careful with his ingredients. So when Will began to complain of pins and needles, or cry uncontrollably at the smallest things, Hohenheim began to worry...and Dante smiled and tipped more quicksilver into her son's drink.

* * *

It was his eighteenth birthday and William Elric was dead. Three days later, he screamed as he was reborn in a catastrophe of blood.

"Hohenheim!" She rushed down the stairs, only to have him shoulder past her, emptying his stomach on the step she'd just vacated.

"Hohenheim, what's the matter?"

"I...what...what have I done?" he whispered in horror, before letting out a pained cry. She reached for him, and then stopped, eyes growing wide when she saw the blood streaming from his side.

"Don't touch me!" he cried out before fleeing.

Dante turned around.

"M-Ma...Ma...ma?"

* * *

She knelt at the edge of the circle, watching the creature with morbid fascination. It didn't even have a proper, human shape - there she could see a curl of intestines, there a heart, pulsating and pushing spurts of blood into the air. Nothing was connected, but...

Even as the human in her sickened and recoiled, the alchemist wondered what had gone wrong. Glancing over her shoulder, she searched for them - and, eventually, found them.

The creature's distended tongue lapped the stones up readily, and as she watched, red and white sparks began to knit together the distended shape.

"Happy birthday."

* * *

A year passed before she could accept that he wasn't coming back. And her creation stood in front of her, wringing his hands in a hopeless manner and asking if she thought Daddy might be on his way, because it had been three days since his birthday and she said he'd been home -

"Oh, shut _up," _she snapped. "He's not coming back."

"But -"

"And he's not your 'daddy' either." She felt her lips twist as she looked at the mockery of her son - so similar, yet so _wrong. _"What the hell do you think you are? He doesn't want _you_."

* * *

A new form, a new face, new eyes, new everything. He was completely unrecognizable this time - almost a century after he'd been given the red stones, he'd finally found the true extent of his new gifts -

He didn't have to look like _him _anymore.

He bared a set sharp teeth too big for his mouth. He would be the envy of everybody, and even Mother Dear couldn't take _this _away from him.

"Happy birthday to me," he crooned, then with a sudden convulsion, he drove his fist into the mirror. Then, he walked away like nothing had happened at all.

* * *

"Damn you, _damn you -"_

Just a stupid, squalling baby - just a little, pink, fleshy bundle that nevertheless tied Hohenheim down more securely than an anchor and chain.

"You were supposed to come home," he whispered, the words distorting around his shark's-teeth. "You were supposed to come home...you...you weren't supposed to _replace _me..."

But that wasn't true, either. He was a replacement. His memories were patchy at best.

No wonder Hohenheim wanted a real son.

Suddenly, Envy grinned, laughing through tears._ I'll chase you away, so he won't have you either. I can do it._

_ Just watch me._

* * *

They were silent, watching each other from across a room so big and small at the same time, when Envy suddenly remembered what day it was and felt sick. He'd lost track of time. He didn't know exactly how many years it had been, but Ed was sixteen now -

He glanced away, suddenly feeling every inch the second-best. Then, he walked slowly towards Edward, around him in ever-shrinking circles. He raked his nails across his skin, trying to make him flinch (so steadfast, so stoic).

He'd ruin this perfect child. He'd forget about every day he'd been reborn.


	82. Following

**So these are Al's diary entries from 1916. It will make sense as you read.**** Probably lots of mistakes about Creta because I haven't seen Sacred Star of Milos.**

**Honestly, I don't like this one all that much - I like the idea, but I think the format ended up restricting it. If I ever write it into a full story, I won't be using diary entries. And there's a lot of moral ambiguity - I was gonna go more in-depth, but there just wasn't room for it. So if you want to point out the issues, go ahead - just know that I'm aware of most of them ^^;**

**Also if you miss the subtext you're missing half the story. Jussayin'. **

**82. Following**

_16th June, 1916_

I worry about Brother sometimes.

Okay, no, all the time. I always have. He's a bit too accident-prone. But this time it's not an accident - he's doing it on _purpose._

I got my first call from him today. It's a wonder we were able to get a connection at all, considering he's all the way out west and I'm in Xing, but both Grumman and the Colonel - oops, General now - have been trying to get everything connected. I took a _train _here, can you believe it? Ling won't stop whining how he dragged himself through the desert and I might as well have done him the honour of doing the same, but I mostly ignore him. He may be the Emperor but he's still a prat.

Anyway, I got a call, but he seemed really distracted. He told me about the architecture in Creta five times - although now that I think about it, that might just be Brother.

I don't know why I'm so worried. I think I have a sixth sense for when Ed's getting himself into trouble, kind of like how Winry has one for whenever he's breaking his automail. I suppose it's nothing, really, but I feel like I should have gone with him. I'm not sure I trust him to take care of himself -

Agh, listen to me. I sound like a doddery old grandmother. Brother can take care of himself.

I think.

-Al

* * *

_23rd June, 1916_

I got another call from Brother! Funny, I get so wrapped up in things here that I don't think about it, but I do miss him terribly. Calling Mei 'bean-girl' helps but it's not quite the same. (Boy, does she hit hard. My head still hurts.)

He says Creta's awesome. He's in their capital city, and he says he'll stay there a while. Apparently their national library is _gorgeous. _Frankly, I'm jealous, but he says he'll steal me something badass.

I said no, of _course. _(As tempting as it was. Darn you, conscience!)

I wish he sounded happier, though. I mean, he doesn't sound sad, exactly - just...tense. It's a strange place, though, as cool as it is. Maybe that's why. I mean, he barely even knows the language.

-Al

* * *

_24th June, 1916_

I talked to Mei.

She said Creta doesn't have a national library. It was destroyed in one of their border skirmishes with Drachma.

I hope she's wrong.

Brother promised he'd never lie to me.

-Al

* * *

_30th June, 1916_

Brother called again today, but he's not in the capital city anymore. He's in a small town just outside of it with a name I can barely pronounce, let alone write.

I asked him what happened to reading through the library. He sounded really nervous, but just said he got bored. That's when I knew he was lying - but I didn't say anything.

I feel kind of like I should have, but the last time I was 'absolutely sure he was lying' I nearly ruined everything. Maybe he was just mistaken about it being the national library. Maybe it was a really, _really _dull library. (Apparently they exist.)

Am I making excuses again?

I still can't find the Dragon's Pulse, either. Mei's getting frustrated with me again, but one of the other alkahestrists I ran into at the palace said that patience is the most valuable virtue when it comes to alkahestry.

Maybe that's what I need to do with Brother as well. Just...be patient. He'll tell me everything eventually.

Still...it was weird how he hung up. We were talking, and then all of a sudden he said, "Wait - shit - sorry, Al, gotta go - I'll call you next week, alright, bye!" And then he hung up.

I think I heard somebody screaming in the background.

-Al

* * *

_3rd July, 1916_

Mei keeps telling me not to worry. It's so frustrating! I can't not worry - he's _Ed_! She just doesn't know him like I do.

"I have a brother too, remember?" she said, but it's not really the same, and I even said so. She has to be respectful, he's the Emperor. And they didn't even grow up together.

"Well, _fine, _I'll never try to sympathize with you again." That was right before she drilled me on the Dragon's Pulse again, then ran me through the Xingese elements, the proportions of an alkahestry circle, and the history of pandas in Xing. (I don't know either. She's weird.)

Sometimes I wish I was still learning from Izumi-sensei. At least she made _sense._

_-Al_

* * *

_4th July, 1916_

General Mustang called today; apparently there's been a series of unexplained incidents resulting in property damage along the Cretan border. They're on the other side, so it technically shouldn't have anything to do with us, but the Cretan government seems to think it's the work of Amestrian insurgents.

Oh boy, you know you've spent too long in the military when. But the General was calling me to make sure it wasn't, well, you know who.

"That brother of yours is a walking disaster area. Are you sure he hasn't gotten himself in over his head again?" (Brother would have FLIPPED if he'd heard that. As it was, I just had myself a private little chuckle.)

I told him the truth - that as far as I knew Ed was actually enjoying a peaceful vacation. The General didn't seem to buy it.

"The words 'Edward' and 'peaceful vacation' don't seem to mesh very well. If you hear anything from him, let me know - and tell him to stop terrorizing the natives. It's bad for diplomatic relations."

I wonder what _is _going on. There's been no deaths, which is pretty good, but it's still weird. I bet if Ed found out he'd go and fix it right away - that, or get himself neck-deep into some dangerous situation. And I wouldn't even be there to save his butt as usual.

I think I should take up drinking.

-Al

* * *

_7th July, 1916_

Something is very, very wrong and I'm an idiot for not saying something sooner.

Brother called today, but we didn't talk for long - I told him about Mei, and Ling, and Xingese food (which is fantastic) but then suddenly there was this bloodcurdling _shriek. _It was so loud I actually started looking around, but Ed stammered something about having to go and hung up.

Or at least, he tried. He must have missed the cradle or something, because I could still hear what was happening. I can remember every word.

"Why are you _screaming _like that - oh jesus - that -"

"What's the matter, _pipsqueak? _Can't handle a little bit of blood?"

"It never did anything to you!"

"It existed." There was a crack, kind of like the sound of splintering branches. "Next time it won't be a cat, midget. Leave me alone."

"No."

I hung up after that. I know that voice - _but he's supposed to be dead_.

-Al

* * *

_8th July, 1916_

I nearly called General Mustang and told him what I'd heard. But then I didn't.

What if I was wrong about what I heard? What if it's somebody else? What if there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for everything?

(What if I'm still making excuses?)

-Al

* * *

_9th July, 1916_

Asked Mei about Envy, since she's probably spent the most time with him out of all of us. She didn't want to talk about it. I prodded a bit, though I probably shouldn't have - and she burst into tears.

I dropped it after that, and hugged her until she calmed down. It turns out Envy had a ball with her - telling her how she would fail, how she was useless, how her clan were just sending her off to get her out of the way, how she would never be anything more than the princess of the garbage heap -

I can't write any more. It makes me too angry. She was _thirteen! _But I suppose it's second-nature to someone like Envy to pick on somebody's insecurities. I remember how he needled at me when we first got him in the jar -

How could we ever have let Mei leave with him?

-Al

* * *

_14th July, 1916_

No call from Brother. I suppose I can't expect him to be exact every week, especially since I think there's a pretty significant time difference between Xing and Creta. I don't think it's a full day, though - otherwise it would have been a problem before now.

-Al

* * *

_15th July, 1916_

The General phoned in. There's been a death in one of the incidents - a woman found, just about beaten to a pulp in the aftermath. Finally some people are speaking up about what's going on - but nobody's taking them seriously, because they're babbling about giant green monsters and lightning coming down from the sky.

I should rephrase that. Nobody's taking them seriously, unless they were involved in the Promised Day.

I asked the General about alchemy in Creta. There's some, but it's mostly concentrated in the major cities. In the small towns - like these ones - it would seem to a lot of people like lightning.

...Still no call from Brother.

-Al

* * *

_16th July, 1916_

Finally caved and called Winry. She made me promise not to call her too often, because we end up talking for hours and "I have customers! Send me letters instead!". Haha.

But she's just as worried as I am. She hasn't gotten anything - letters or calls - for ages. She's used to it (ouch, guilt) but this time it's different because I'm not with him. "You're the _sane _one."

I couldn't exactly disagree with her. But - "Do you know who Envy is - was?"

"One of the, uh, homunculi, right?"

"The shapeshifter."

"Right. But they're all dead."

"...Yeah." Winry's a mechanic, not an alchemist or soldier. She doesn't need to know that Envy was very possibly still alive.

She can't help me figure out _how._

_-_Al

* * *

_17th July, 1916_

I can't _sleeeep. _It's awful. You'd think with all the training Mei's putting me through I'd be able to get some rest, not to mention not sleeping for four years. Jeez.

This thing with Brother and Envy (maybe) won't stop bothering me. I know how Winry felt - feels - now; he never _had _to tell me anything before because I was there for most of it. But now I'm two countries away and all I know is what comes over the line.

Goddammit, I'm NOT going to sit here and let him do something stupid!

_Later_

I'm back. I called the last town Ed phoned me from and asked about the recent Amestrian visitor. I got a string of foreign curses and a curt reply telling me that the little green-haired psychopath was long gone.

I guess I should give up any hope that I'm wrong.

-Al

* * *

_18th July, 1916_

Finally, Brother called! I can't even begin to tell you how relieved I was to hear his voice. But he sounds tired. I asked him what was wrong and he tried to tell me it was nothing.

"Ed, don't. I know you're lying to me about something - _stop _it."

"It's nothing, I..." He gave up pretty quickly. "I'm just tired. I've...I've been taking care of somebody."

"Envy?"

He was silent for a long time after that. "He deserves a second chance -he's changed, he's changing -"

I told him about the woman beaten to death. I wanted so much for him to say that they hadn't been anywhere close to there, but all he said was, "Oh." It was little more than a whisper.

I'd never heard him sound so old.

"Come home," I ended up saying. "Come home."

"I can't. I'm the only thing stopping him when he goes on a rampage - I'm the only one, Al, don't you get it? He _listens _to me -"

"Come home," I said again. "He's not your responsibility."

"He is now -"

That was when he was suddenly cut off and another voice took over. Envy had snatched the phone away from him. "Oh, it's the tin can. Stop trying to convince him, I've been trying to get him to go away for ages now and he ain't leaving." He laughed.

Then he hung up.

-Al

_Later_

I called Mustang.

I told him everything.

-Al

* * *

_21th July, 1916_

On my way back to Amestris - Mei's with me, which I'm incredibly grateful for. If she wasn't here I don't know what kind of a mess I'd be.

Mustang led a raid to capture Envy and Ed. Yeah, capture. I can't believe I'm saying it either...But it's the only course of action that the brass could decide on. It's strictly undercover, although Grumman's communicated with the officials in the area to let them know some of the basics.

Envy got away. They're bringing Brother back to Central while they figure out what to do. Mustang said he might be extradited back to Creta to stand trial for the woman's murder, but that's bullshit. He didn't know anything about it, he was trying to stop it...

...but not everyone's gonna see it that way.

-Al

* * *

_15th September, 1916_

"I ran into Envy a few days after I first crossed the border. I thought he was dead. I found him eating animals, trying to use their life force to boost his Stone. It must have been working, because he'd gotten his usual body back.

"At first, I fought with him; he ran off, went on a rampage in his full form. I stopped him. He rampaged again. I stopped him again. I tried to make him realize how many people he was hurting every time.

"I ended up following him, stopping him every time I could. He got better and better - it was just when he got angry. When people laughed too much, smiled too much - young families, young lovers - he'd lose it. But he was getting better, I swear.

"I don't know who she was. I didn't even know it had happened. But I can tell you why. She reminded Envy of what he didn't have. That's all."

He shrugged. "I tried my best. I...guess it...wasn't enough."

I asked him why he'd tried so hard, why he'd even thought of giving Envy a chance.

He shrugged again, and then looked up at me. I can't remember the last time he looked so desperate. "I...I had to try...I had to least try to save one more person. Just _one more..."_

He buried his head in his hands.

I wrote down everything he said, word for word. Maybe this way, I can reread it, try to figure out what I'm missing.

We're back in Rizenbul now. Winry's come back to stay at least for a while. They couldn't find Ed guilty of anything except really bad decision-making, but Mustang did practically order him to stay in one place for a while. And I'm staying with him - as long as I need to.

Mei wants to return to Xing. I said she could if she wanted to, but I couldn't. She got really upset - I don't know why. She says I'm too distracted now - of course I'm distracted. Ed is all I have, and he's been gallivanting around with a murderer! I think anybody would be upset.

I can see why she wants to go home, though. It's been almost two months getting everything sorted out. I really didn't mean to get her wrapped up in everything...I'm getting better at alkahestry, though. I think I've figured out how to read qi now - it's hard! But I can kind of sense it now. Mei says I need to find a clear enough source. Everybody in Xing can shield theirs.

-Al

* * *

_16th September, 1916_

I couldn't sleep (again) so I got up to check on Ed. He's always been a restless sleeper, and it hasn't gotten any better since he got back.

There was someone else there with him, sitting by the bed. I didn't recognize her - she was a small little thing, with dark hair tied in a braid and really, really pale skin. She was holding Brother's hand and caressing it, like Mom used to do whenever we were sick or she just really felt like it. Sometimes I woke up and noticed she was doing it. I never let her know I was awake though, because I was worried she'd stop.

I kind of think this girl was doing the same thing. Because it was really obvious she cared about him.

Then she looked up at me and she _completely _changed. "Go away," she hissed, and that was when I realized who it was.

Envy had followed Brother all the way home.


	83. Jealousy

**So...in case it's not obvious, this is sort of a bunny about how the homunculi don't _represent _the sins, they are _literally _the sins of humanity. ...Okay, saying more would ruin it.**

**So if anybody thinks I'm Roy-bashing - I'm really not. I love him, which you've probably figured out if you've read this far. But he's just in such a peculiar position of trust and power that putting him in situations like this are just too interesting!**

**Onesided RoyxEd.**

**83. Jealousy**

_"I'm Envy! I'm Envy the Jealous, don't you know what that means?"_

A whisper of ash as his bones and flesh and muscles fall away; his green, loathing heart exposed (as always) (and he will burn him away until there is nothing left).

He -she -it pleads for mercy.

_"I'm everything you don't want to see."_

Roy had seen how the creature had touched the boy he'd claimed under _his _command, _his _protection (his his his) -

_"I'm everything you don't want to hear."_

- Ed moaning the name of a sin, unaware that his commanding officer was so close, just outside the door, waiting to work up the courage to tell him the truth -

The thing (like an insect, a worm) crawls as far as it can. Roy lets it struggle before placing his boot slowly on its back

(had Ed ever seen the true form of the monstrosity he'd taken on as his lover?)

and pressing down.

_"I'm everything you don't want to know."_

Years. Years upon years. (He's too young.) (He likes girls.) (He likes Winry.) (He wouldn't be interested.)

He didn't want to know, didn't want to realize that -

- Ed just didn't want _him._

His own words are arsenic, dripping poison that scorch his mouth. He has never hated anything this much.

_"I'm the part of you that you try to hide, wreathed away in darkness and shadow."_

Riza's trying to stop him. Can't she see, doesn't she know _doesn't she know _(she doesn't and that's the worst)

"Please...please, stop..."

Envy's begging him to stop. For mercy.

"Stop it."

Roy looks up, and it's his golden boy, his sin, his treasure (_stop it, _screams the last rational part of him, _you should have stopped this years ago _before it shrivels up and becomes dust on the wind) telling him that this is enough.

_"Well, guess what? He's mine now, Ponyboy. And even worse? He was never yours to begin with!"_

A stranger has taken over his body now, a stranger who sees nothing but Edward - and the obstacle to having him. The Promised Day means nothing. Riza means nothing. Hughes means _nothing._

The stranger pulls hooks at the corners of his mouth and he smirks. And suddenly he (the stranger) is raising his hand -

- and Envy screams one last time as he becomes nothing more than cinders and charcoal.

Roy lowers his hand.

His envy is gone. Ash.

In its place is horror, and a broken heart - because the look on Ed's face, he thought he'd never have to see again after Maria Ross, and this time _he deserves it._

"Wh-_why?"_ stammers Ed, dangerously close to tears.

Roy opens his mouth. He tries to say, 'for Hughes' because that was _supposed _to be why -and it is now, it really is, it was until Envy started his mockery, his taunting -

Instead what comes out is, "For you."


	84. Possession

**Okay, the EdxEnvy in this is kind of ridiculously subtle. But you know it's there because it's, duh, an EdxEnvy collection.**

**Also for anybody who happens to be living under a rock (haha) the character in this is not mine, but J.R.R. Tolkien's. I'm not saying who the character is because that would ruin it.**

**84. Possession**

At first he thought the whispering voices were echoes of his own thoughts, so alike they were...

"...yes...just us now, just you and me and me, yess..."

He followed the echoes, trying to trace them to their source. The torch trembled in his grasp.

"...so pretty, so shiny...my precious, my _precious..."_

He'd long lost track of where he was. He supposed it didn't matter, but the tunnels and caves were too close for his liking. Funny. He'd never thought he was claustrophobic -

"...Who's there?" the voice suddenly queried, the rasp in it become louder. "You can'ts have it? Filthy creatures, all wants the precious, can'ts have its. It's _ours!" _it ended with something half scream and half wail.

His pace slowed to a crawl. The creature - whatever it was - was just around the next corner. He could hear its scratching, its breathing, its insane murmurings.

He growled softly to himself. He wasn't some soft-hearted human fool to be afraid of a ghost in the dark. So he rounded the corner -

- and Envy and the creature stared at each other for a few heartbeats, trapped in a sudden bubble of certainty and recognition.

The torch in Envy's hand clattered to the floor, breaking the silent tension and making the creature skitter away. Even in the dark, Envy could make out every feature - the few strands of hair plastered to its paper-thin scalp, the sickly paleness of its skin, the way its eyes glowed like lanterns even in the quickly-fading light of the torch...

"What are you?" he demanded, and the creature narrowed its eyes suspiciously.

"Put out the light! The light burns us, it does."

Envy stepped onto the torch, extinguishing the last flicker of flame. "What are you?" he asked again, trying not to let the irritation and disgust he felt creep into his voice.

The creature blinked, eyes huge and froglike. "They calls me _Gollum._"

"Gollum," Envy whispered. The name felt foul on his lips. "Hey, that doesn't answer my question at all!"

But Gollum didn't seem to be paying attention to him now, holding something small against his lips. "The ugly thing can'ts have you, precious, my precious."

At the sound of the 'u-word', Envy sprang forward with a snarl, hands transforming unconsciously into claws. But Gollum hopped out of the way with a little dance and a gurgling, guttural laugh, snickering as Envy collapsed onto the ground.

"Ha-_ha! _Ha-_ha!"_

Envy glanced down at Gollum's hand, where he still clasped the object he'd been murmuring to so fervently. It was a ring. That was all. Just a golden ring.

"Get back here, you filthy little thing!"

If he could just get a closer look...

But Gollum cackled as he leapt further into the caves, and a moment later, he'd disappeared, like he'd slipped between one reality and the next.

Envy lay on the ground for a moment, mind reeling with the surreality of it all. He hadn't taken Pride seriously when he'd mentioned that there was something living in the natural caves below the tunnel - but -

He balled his hand into a fist and punched the ground, hissing as the bones in his hand splintered and then knit themselves back together.

The Gollum and the ring...

A reptile dreaming of being human, holding onto a glint of gold...

Envy pressed his cheek against the cold cave floor, tracing patterns into the lichen. "My precious..." he whispered, and the echoes seized his words, turning his confession into a cacophony of declarations.

_My precious._


	85. Message

**Sorry about the delay! This one gave me a heck of a lot of trouble, and I finally went for borderline crack because I'm working on so so so so so so so many other things. I'll have a new SNEA chapter up soon :P**

**Inspired by that one moment in Brotherhood - you know which one.**

**Warning for total pointlessness.**

**85. Message**

Ed was surprised he could even hear the sound of the window creaking open over the sound of the water running, but it was unmistakable. He turned off the water.

"Hello?" he called out, feeling a little silly. He doubted Al was climbing through the window (or that he could even fit) unless - He slung a towel around his shoulders and walked out of the bathroom.

"Al, if you're sneaking kittens through the window again -" he started to say, and then stopped dead in his tracks.

There was a homunculus standing in his living room.

"Uh. Hi," was all he could think of to say. A second later - "Do locks mean nothing?" It was a stupid question, but a completely valid one (to his mind, anyway.)

Envy scowled. "I have a message -" he began, rather vaingloriously, and then stopped with a stutter. "Uh. Message," he started again, not quite as sure. "A message to, uh, pass on, to, uh, you..."

Ed raised an eyebrow skeptically. "And...?" he prompted.

"Uh...um..." Envy tore his eyes upwards, face strangely red. "And...I..."

He chuckled. "Come on, out with it. Got a bit of a stutter there, Envy?"

Envy's scowl deepened. "Fuck it, I'll come back later," he growled, face still red. He didn't even bother climbing back out of the window, marching indignantly out of the door and slamming it behind him.

Ed chuckled a little longer before turning around - and looking down at himself in surprise. "Huh. Oops." His face flamed for a moment, and he scratched the back of his head. "I wonder if that's why...Nah. Can't be."

Now to finish his shower.


	86. Enemy Mine

**Raunchy. Silly. Sexy. Kind of bizarre. Citrus-y-ish although honestly, not that bad. (Edit: I went back on the M thing. It's not M worthy. .)**

**Oh, and blame Violetlight. IT'S ALL HER FAUUUULT. It's my first go at this kind of Envy (consider it practice for something else) so sorry if it kind of sucks.**

**This is probably going to be the last of the silly ones - the rest will probably be very abstract, and likely very depressing. :P**

**86. Enemy Mine**

Ed wasn't quite sure how it had happened, or exactly when - although he had a sneaking suspicion that the array he'd stumbled upon a few missions ago had done a bit more than he'd thought.

Any reasonable person would have gone to the doctor. Ed had never in his life pretended to be reasonable, and so he wrapped bandages around his chest until it was hard to breathe and deepened his voice until he thought he might choke.

But it was getting to be unmistakable, and Ed wasn't going to be able to hide it from everyone else for much longer.

Edward Elric was turning into a girl.

He dangled his feet off of a rooftop, swimming in his morose mood. How on earth was he going to tell Al? Aside from the lecture he was going to get - _How could you be so stupid not to check whether an array was active or not? _- how were things going to change? Al was going to start calling him 'Sister' and being all weird around him, and Winry -

Ed's brain slowed to a halt, and he let out a long, low moan, burying his (her?) face in his hands. _Winry. _He knew some girls liked other girls - he wasn't _that _oblivious - but he was pretty sure Winry wasn't one of them.

Talk about a shitshow.

Not to mention the Colonel. The Colonel was going to have an absolute party making fun of him. Or - even worse - he might start hitting on him.

"I might be sick," muttered Ed, lying back on the roof and throwing an arm over his eyes. He could feel how the balance of his body had shifted over the last three weeks. His hips were wider and heavier, and his shoulders had narrowed slightly, with the odd effect of making his metal leg feel lighter and his automail arm heavier. His chest was, despite his best efforts, swelling, and if it kept up at this rate, his port was going to start buckling. He wasn't looking forward to that.

"Hello there, chibi," purred a voice, and Ed nearly fell off the roof as he scrambled to get to his feet. A hand grabbed his collar.

"Careful there, don't wanna fall." Envy grinned, purple eyes sparkling in what would have been good humour if there was anything good about the homunculus.

"What are you doing here?" grumbled Ed, although honestly, he wasn't surprised. Envy had a very particular habit of showing up where he wasn't wanted, as as much as he hated it, Ed had rather resigned himself to the fact that he had several 'guardian angels' making sure he didn't get himself killed. Where they'd been when he'd found that array, he didn't know, but he supposed it didn't matter what sex their sacrifice was.

"Oh, just out for a walk," answered Envy flippantly, baring his sharp teeth in a grin that rather belied his words. "It's a lovely night. The real question is what are _you _doing hangin' out on a rooftop? Heights are dangerous, ya know."

"Yet here you are," muttered the alchemist, although he knew it was a bit different.

"Ya know, something's different about you." Envy cocked his head, strands of hair shifting to expose his face, mocking smirk in place as usual. "Mebbe you've gotten taller?"

"Who're you calling a miniscule miniature maggot, freak -" Ed's diatribe was cut off when Envy suddenly slammed him down onto the rooftop, face inches away from his.

"Na, that's not it," he said again with his peculiar lilt. Then, his smirk never shifting, he slipped his hands up Ed's shirt. He leant down, breath tickling his ear. "You're bustin' out of your bandages..._love."_

"Oh dear god, can you get _any more creepy? _Get _off _me!" Ed pushed vainly at the homunculus, unable to get enough arm room for a proper swing, but he was too heavy.

Envy didn't move his hands, his grin widening. "So when'd _this _happen, chibi-chan?"

"Look, I don't fucking know, isn't it your job to stop this kind of shit from happening?"

"It's my job to stop ya from dying. That's all."

"Well, this might just be _worse!"_

Envy blinked, taken aback. "Worse?" he murmured, the edge in his voice dropping away for a moment. "Being a girl is worse than death?"

"Well - I - I didn't mean that _exactly..."_

Suddenly Envy's mouth was on his, soft lips claiming his own in what quickly became a battle for dominance - one that Ed was clearly losing. All too soon, Envy broke away, and whispered sultrily, "You have _no idea _how wrong you are."

As he struggled to interpret the words, Envy grabbed Ed's flesh hand, rubbing his callused thumb across his palm, and then brought it to his chest.

No.

_Hers._

Oh, jeez.

Oh. _Jeez._

"I - you - I-I...eh?" A second later, Ed exhaled in realization. "Shapeshifter."

"What do you think, chibi?" The hand still underneath his shirt began to pull at the bandages until they came apart, and - oh _lord _he'd realized they were sensitive but _gahh _it wasn't supposed to feel this good!

"Well?" Envy nipped at his ear with sharp teeth, their bodies flush against each other. "You'd rather die than be a girl, huh?"

"Mmh-hanh!"

"I'm sorry, what was that? Were you taking it back?"

Ed glared viciously up at Envy, but after another squeeze that elicited a purely-involuntary squeak, he managed to force out, "Yes, I take it back!"

"Heh-heh." She (it was surprisingly easy to switch pronouns) slid her hands down to Ed's stomach, and he fought the urge to pout. That had been _nice. _"So, enemy mine, what _did _ya do to yoursel'?"

"None of your business," sulked Ed, his grumpy mood returning as he remembered exactly _who _was on top of him. He may be a frustrated virgin, but he wasn't _that _frustrated.

Well. He thought.

And to be honest, the way he felt right now, there was one thing he _definitely _didn't miss about being fully male.

Envy scowled, and then shrugged. "Eh, I'll find out another way then if ya won't tell me." She got to her feet, brushing off her skirt nonchalantly (ahh, it made _sense _now) and started to walk away.

"Wait, you're leaving?"

"Well, yeah."

"But -" Ed sat up a little too fast, and then tried to look nonchalant. "You're just gonna leave like that, huh?" he said as calmly as he could, as if he wasn't about an inch away from dragging Envy back down on top of him.

She nodded, a smile playing around her lips. "What, frustrated, pipsqueak?"

"N-no!"

She bent down slightly and poked his forehead with a grin. "...Maybe next time." Turning on her heel, she strode off, her outlines blending into the darkness.

Ed sat there for a moment, too shocked to move. After he was as certain as he could possibly be that the homunculus was gone, he exhaled, trying to cool down.

And whether it had anything to do with his own gender change or not, he'd never realized it was possible for Envy to be sexy.

Ed looked down at his chest and groaned - the bandages had completely split now, and it was impossible to hide the breasts under his shirt. Tentatively, he reached up and poked one of them, resisting the urge to chuckle as it bounced.

"I...I could get used to this."

And maybe being called 'Sister' wouldn't be so bad.


	87. Breaking Stone

**...God, what is with my obsession with death?**

**87. Breaking stone**

It's the first time he's seen it firsthand. It's surreal. No body, no blood, no trace.

Outwardly, he knows he's blank, and he should be something more. There should be emotion at this passing...but it doesn't feel like one. There's nothing to mourn, nothing to touch and feel the coldness and deadness of.

Someone just died in front of him.

Some_one._

Not something.

Someone who cried, who pleaded, who desired and dreamt.

The Colonel has his hand over his eyes; Hawkeye is kneeling like a girl at prayers; Scar is still and silent like a statuesque monolith; and slowly settling between them is the black dust -

It whispers against Ed's cheek as it drifts downwards, and for a moment Ed thinks he can hear or feel an exhalation, a final breath. But the next moment he realizes it's only the breath he's been holding far too long, finally escaping.

There's nothing left of Envy. Just dust on the wind and the echo of the sound of breaking stone.


	88. Heartbeats

**Really, really enjoyed playing with the rhythm of this one. First anime, and the verses mostly switch back and forth between Ed and Envy.**

**Hooray for buffer! Man, I can't believe I'm almost done this collection D:**

**88. Heartbeat**

heartbeats ricochet

chest to chest

face to face.

here we are, eye to eye

I'm not yours

you're not mine

* * *

heartbeats ricochet

you've arrived

a bit too late

to see the one

I could have been

but you are free

to envy me

* * *

heartbeats ricochet

you steal my heart

you wear my face

we share a blood

should share a name

instead we play

a guessing game

* * *

heartbeats ricochet

what game shall

we play today

you rush in fast

I take it slow

more to learn

more to know

* * *

heartbeats ricochet

together we could

find a way

together isn't

a way to be

together isn't

you and me

* * *

heartbeats ricochet

you scream

I betray

you bleed out

in technicolour

at the hands

of your own lover

* * *

heartbeats ricochet

this is the price

I am to pay

my own sins

my own crimes

I'd do them all

a second time

* * *

heartbeats ricochet

what game shall

we play today?


	89. Metamorphosis

**To anybody who asks if I'm making these more and more confusing on purpose...the answer is 'Prickly pineapple'.**

89. metamorphosis

in an evershifting world of change where nothing is stable and nothing remains solid and every time we meet my eyes are a different colour and my hair's a different length and my body's a different shape and my skin's a different hue and my voice is a different tone, in a world that he can manipulate with the sparks that i hate in a world where only animosity remains the same...

why do i trust him?

everything shifts under our feet.

he's not changing me, i'm not changing him, it's a simple moment of metamorphosis. _equivalent exchange._

everything shifts under our feet.

i smile. smirk. laugh. mock. pretend it's nothing. and then the next moment i offer myself up to him, because i want to feel his _real _touch on my _real _skin and at first he's surprised, unsure, and then he picks me up and i'm so goddamn weak and i hate hate hate hate it...

_don't worry. and something about butterflies._

i don't give a fuck about goddamn butterflies.

but everything shifts under our feet.

the sky changes, the earth changes. everything changes so this, too, shall pass and i'll feel like i'm made of something more than glass. (so transparent it's apparent that i'm fading.)

(sometimes i take his shape, try to see the world through his eyes, try to see the shades of grey and the rainbow hues i must be missing)

(sometimes i wonder what he'd do if he could take mine)

i can't change the worm inside though so i'll burrow into the earth and wait until it's all over and maybe then he can fix me

(you don't need fixing don't be silly)

but that's just another change he's brought, that he's wrought, and _I CAN'T FUCKING THINK STRAIGHT_

just need to...

(break it open and start again)

just need to break this shell open and start again. that's it. just break it open and start again.

see that white smile.

because he has all the answers.

break it open and start again

everything shifts under my feet.


	90. Freedom

**2003!Envy characterization/backstory (kind of) in Brotherhood verse...mostly because it's what came out.**

**The next one may take a while; it may wind up being a bit super long _ Hopefully not.**

**Also, should I start putting trigger warnings on these?**

**90. Freedom**

Even Edward had a breaking point and, looking at the boy crouched on the floor in front of him, Envy wondered how far past it he was.

"You're asking me to -" He cut himself off with a snort. "You're pathetic."

"Yes," he whispered. "Yes, I'm pathetic, I'm useless, I can't - do it anymore -"

"And why are you asking me? We need you alive, remember?"

Ed raised his head, gold eyes grim and dead. "Because I know you'd love nothing better."

Envy couldn't deny it, but he wasn't going to give the pipsqueak the satisfaction of being right, either. "Pft. I knew you humans were full of shit. Giving up on your brother -"

"I'm not!" It was a sudden burst of passion from the boy who had walked in stiff and lifeless as a block of stone. "I - I -"

"What's he gonna do without'cha? I guess I'll hafta take care of him too." Envy turned his back, leaning forward onto the wall so he wouldn't have to see the play of emotions over the alchemist's face. He was so exposed - everything was out there for all to see, for everyone to use.

"He'll be fine. But don't you touch him. Don't you - don't you go near him." Ah, there was the savageness.

"Alright. We got a deal." Envy turned around again, strode over to the blond and grabbed a handful of flaxen hair, exposing the teenager's pale throat. It pulsed and bobbed as Ed swallowed, nervousness painted on his face like the illustrations of an open book.

Envy dragged sharp nails across Ed's cheek, feeling for a moment like Lust with one of her conquests. "So, Fullmetal..." he whispered, voice subconsciously shifting in timbre to be more like his lost sibling's, "you want to be free." He couldn't help but mock him. Imagine, putting on a collar and then balking against it when it was too late to turn back...

Ed nodded ever so slightly, the movement almost nothing more than an inclination of his head. Envy almost growled. It didn't feel like killing Fullmetal at all. This placid, depressed little doll was not the same boy he'd hunted and hated.

Envy pushed Ed back onto the stone floor, bringing his face close to his as his claws darted down the blond's chest, shredding the red and black cloth as they did. The deadly-sharp blades came to rest just over Ed's heart, indenting but not quite breaking the skin as each sudden breath shifted the landscape.

"When, pipsqueak, have I ever done anything...that would make you happy?" he snarled, digging in just enough to draw blood. Ed gasped slightly, legs jerking underneath the homunculus. Envy only had a miniscule amount of his true weight on top of the teenager, but it was enough to trap him.

It would be so easy to finish the job.

"Fuck off," he muttered, pulling both hand and claw away.

"Wh-what?"

Envy rose to his feet. "I said, fuck off."

Ed stood up, frustration the newest expression to etch itself onto his features. "But - you have to -!"

Envy slammed Ed into the wall, the wicked claws encircling Ed's throat but not quite touching it. "You want to die, you do it yourself. I'm nobody's saviour."

Ed subsided into a sullen silence, glowering dully at the homunculus. "Let me go, then."

"Whatever." The claws turned back into a hand, which Envy pulled away.

Ed gave Envy - and his hand - a strange look. A second later, he pulled back his fist and slugged the elder being in the face.

"Fucker! What was that for!" he complained, wincing as his regeneration process took care of the shiner he would have had otherwise.

Ed grinned, a devilish smile that made Envy's stomach turn. "Oh, I just don't like your face. Later, bastard."

It was an act - it was always an act - but it still made Envy roll his eyes. "Just piss off already before I change my mind."

He'd be back. There'd be another collapse, another breakdown, and Ed would be back. Maybe Envy's answer would change, maybe it wouldn't.

But that was for another day.


	91. Live Wire

**I'm being very bad and switching the order of two of the themes because 'Survivor' is taking so bloody long. Even worse, 'Beauty and the Beast' is going on a VERY temporary hiatus because NaNoWriMo is upon me. Don't worry, I'll be back by December to write the last handful of themes :)**

**And aren't I leaving you on such a wonderful, cheery note? XD**

**91. Live Wire**

Al knew from the beginning it wouldn't end well. Nobody could live a life together where bruises meant 'I love you' and time together was snuck in through open windows and between skin-raking battles. But a life wasn't what either of them were looking for... at least, that's what they whispered when they thought Al couldn't hear.

And just as much as he knew Envy meant exactly what he said, Al knew that Ed _didn't. _But nobody had mastered the art of lying to themselves quite like his brother had.

That was the thing about electricity. It was always searching for solid ground, but sometimes it got lost. Ed was nothing if not a live-wire, desperate for something more to hold on to that wouldn't slip away (and every day Al wished he could be more, do more), desperate to sink everything he was, every bit of energy he had into something so that he could finally relax.

It should have been Winry, or Hawkeye - or even the Colonel if that was really where Ed's interests lay. Al trusted them.

It should have been them, but it wasn't.

So when one night, the usual sounds of lust and desire turned into something else, and a minute later, into a soft, almost inaudible sob, Al wasted no time in opening the door. He tried to sound surprised as he pressed the cold metal of his gauntlet against the quickly-swelling bruise on Ed's face. He tried to pretend like he had no idea what had happened.

He tried to believe his brother when he said it wouldn't happen again.


	92. Survivor

**Hi guys! I'm back! I'm still working on the next theme, but it should be up soon - and I'm also chugging away on the next chapters of Hero and SNEA :) Thanks for waiting so patiently. I love you all, and I hope you had a wonderful Christmas!**

**So I mostly owe this idea to 'Divine Right of Kings' by Oedipus Tex. It's amazing and bleak and you should all read it. There was also another oneshot - I can't find it right now, sadly, otherwise I would credit it - that had something similar happen to Envy as what happens here. It was creeptastic and amazing.**

**I was originally going to post this before Live Wire, but I just couldn't get it finished. So anybody who's read the list of themes...yeah, they're switched because I'm a silly slow writer.**

**Warning for mass death.**

92. Survivor

Everything went wrong.

That was the mantra Ed clung to as he climbed over stones and pieces of fallen rubble, and found new bodies with every step. _Everything went wrong. Everything went wrong._

It was odd how comforting it was. But it was so much easier to believe in human error than a brutal, evil God or a determined path. _Everything went wrong _was better than _This was how it was meant to be, _or _Everything happens for a reason._

Because he didn't think any sane mind could come up with a reason for him to be totally, utterly alone.

Fifty million.

And one survivor.

_Everything went wrong._

* * *

"So," he said conversationally, swilling the dregs of his coffee in the cup and wondering how long coffee lasted before rotting and whether he could drink through it all. He hadn't slept in something like three days. "How's life?" He threw his head back and laughed hysterically.

Roy stared into nothingness. His eyes were blank and grey, a testament to the sacrifice he'd made, and that was probably one of the reasons that Ed could stand talking to him.

"You know, it's odd," he mused. "I always wanted you to shut the hell up." He paused. "I didn't mean it, you know."

Again, nothing but silence. Still, it was a familiar face. He'd thrown up at least five times while hauling them up from underground, and another time when he'd decided to embalm them - thank god for alchemy, thank god he could still use it even after all of this - but it was worth it.

He touched the pendant around his neck, careful not to smear the seal of blood.

"So...are you mad at me?" he asked, unsure who he was talking to. Then again, who else was there? Just him and the dead.

* * *

The most overwhelming thing of all was probably the silence. Every animal larger than a spider had fled Amestris's borders and there was no sign of them returning, so when Ed walked the streets, the sound of his mismatched feet echoed like gunshots.

Bam. Bam. Bam.

(He shouldn't be alive).

He should have stayed within Headquarters, he knew this, but he couldn't stand to see them all scattered on the streets. It was better than it would have been had the soldiers not attacked - most of the civilians were indoors, and Ed wasn't going to invade people's houses.

(Funny. He's respecting people's privacy more now that he knows what he's going to find. Or maybe he's just a coward.)

So he started to dig, and every hour, every day, he dug another grave. No mass graves for these fallen - their souls were already wasted, used, destroyed. He only used alchemy for the stones. The pits themselves he dug by hand, and even as the bodies began to rot, leaking fluid and attracting flies, he rolled them in tenderly. He didn't know everybody's names, but enough of them wore dog tags for him to try.

Then he found Maria Ross.

It was strange. First he sat down hard, remembering how she'd slapped him, mothered him, protected him, fled for her life and _she was here now, _so she'd returned...and then his thoughts turned to Winry.

Winry.

Winry was dead, just like everybody else in this godforsaken country -

He curled into a ball, sobs wracking his frame, twisting at his battered automail, and that was the first time he cried.

* * *

He started to hear sounds in the walls. At first he was paranoid, but then he resigned himself to the fact that they were the echoes of his own thoughts, resounding and reverberating inside a quickly-deteriorating mind.

One day, the sound became a voice.

"Hello, Edward."

Too familiar. Too familiar.

He was going insane, that was all. He knew it was coming, when he was this exhausted and this deprived and this lonely. Still, he did not turn.

The voice became a touch, became a hand gripping his hair and pulling his head back. "Well? Aren't you going to say hello?" Another hand, icy-cold like the touch of the dead, grasped his bare abdomen.

Finally, Ed opened his mouth.

"Hello, Envy."

The homunculus's grip tightened in a sudden spasm at the name. "Wonderful," he purred. "Just wonderful. Just you and me and all of us, all alone and all together now...Didja miss me?" His voice dropped to a sudden low tenor, sending a shudder of recognition down Ed's spine.

"Creepy bastard. Didn't know you could do voices."

"I can't."

Something flickered inside of Ed's chest, a tiny spark of instinct that made him turn around - and ripped a terrified scream from his throat.

Roy grinned, a horrid mockery of his traditional cocksure smirk. "What's the matter, Fullmetal?" The voice, the _voice, _the voice was supposed to be the giveaway, but everything was perfect, from the pitch to the intonation -

Ed backed away, stumbling into the desk. "You're _dead." _He had incontrovertible proof of it, only a few meters away. And this couldn't be Roy Mustang anyway, because his eyes were the same deep black they'd always been, instead of blind, senseless grey.

Roy's face fell. "I am?" It was acting worthy of an award. Then - "Of course I am...how silly of me. It really doesn't feel like it, you know."

"M-Mustang?" Ed stammered, hating himself for it. Of course, as soon as he did, the grin widened across the Colonel's face, twisting and melting into a fountain of red sparks until it became an altogether distinct form. This one wasn't familiar, a teenage boy with a mop of dark brown hair and a pockmarked face.

But a second later, before the transformation had even finished swallowing the remnants of Mustang's blue uniform, the boy's hair suddenly turned decidedly blonde, growing longer and longer -

Ed didn't have to stay to see her blue eyes, before he was running, slamming open doors, desperate to get away.

He'd thought he was alone.

This was infinitely worse.

* * *

"Ed! ED!"

The worry in her voice was so real, so honest. But he didn't dare move, hidden in the shadows of an alley, even though he was trying to summon up all of his rage against the monster who was daring, who was stooping so low to use _her..._

_She's dead, you filth, _he thought fiercely, refusing to shy away from the word. _Let her rest in peace._

"Ed...please..."

_Let _me _rest in peace..._

"Ed...my head hurts so much, please, can you make it stop?"

Ed's heart skipped a beat. Inching closer to the mouth of the alleyway, he peered around the corner and out into the street. In the middle, surrounded by mounds of earth and gravestones that dotted the asphalt road, Envy was on his knees, one hand limp on the ground and the other cradling his head.

The voice coming out of his mouth was still Winry's.

"My head hurts...so much..." There was an audible sniff. "It hurts, it hurts, it _hurts!" _Envy smashed his fist against his head.

Ed took a cautious step out of the alleyway. Envy didn't seem to notice him, still talking to himself in the voice that made Ed's heart swell and fall in equal measure. He took another step, and another.

"Envy," he said quietly, but there was no response. Almost too cowardly to brave it, Ed swallowed, the action scraping his dry throat. "W...Winry?"

When Envy's head snapped up, his eyes were still bright blue.

"Oh, Win..." Ed didn't even have the energy to be happy; he just slumped to his knees beside the homunculus, wrapping his arms around the blue-eyed figure. For a moment, as he...she...leaned into him, it was like having her back.

And then, as abruptly as the moment had begun, it ended with two hands curling in his shirt and suddenly slamming his head into the ground.

Envy's eyes were wine-red again, dark and animalistic. "What did you _do _to me?" he hissed.

"I didn't do anything."

"GET THEM OUT!"

"Get them..." The truth dawned on Ed, finally. A terrifying truth, a fate worse than death - "Their souls. All of them."

Envy's sharp-toothed growl began slowly to fade, dulling into something akin to numb fear. "Help me," he whispered in a voice that once again was not his own.

Ed couldn't tell if the words or their tone belonged to someone he'd known - some child, perhaps, that he'd met on the road or at some out-of-the-way town. He couldn't tell if Envy was acting, or pleading, or simply dying.

So, once again, (like a coward), he ran.

* * *

The dozy bleakness of the dead city was broken, now, by Envy's rantings. They carried in the silence, and Ed tried not to listen, but the snippets of conversations embedded themselves in his mind.

"Brother? Brother, are you there?"

The mug slipped out of his hand and shattered on the floor as he grasped the pendant around his neck instinctively at the voice, hoping for a moment that the blood seal had called its wearer home.

"Brother!"

But it was coming from outside - Ed flung open the door, and stopped dead.

He looked just like Ed remembered - not the gaunt ghost that he'd seen inside the Gate, but round-faced, soft-eyed...human.

"Are you alright?" asked Al-who-was-not-Al (who could not be Al).

"Am I..." Ed swallowed. "Stop it - you - can't be -"

Al looked down at his hands with a smile. "Brother..." He looked back up. "I...I think I'm dead."

Ed said nothing in reply, trying desperately to subdue the frantic hope rising in his chest. "You're...no, you're not," he said, grinning in an attempt at being comforting. Had he been able to see himself, he would have quickly realized just how flat his attempt fell. "You're not dead, you're right here..." Then again, it wasn't Al he was really trying to comfort.

Al cocked his head, thinking for a moment. "I...I suppose. I don't know. It's...it's really hard to concentrate, you know..."

The blond swallowed, trying to will himself to look away and _goddammit don't fall for it -_

_"GET THEM OUT!"_

_"Their souls. All of them."_

"What happened, Al?" he found himself asking, although it came out slightly garbled through his numb lips.

The young boy's glassy, gauzy gaze sharpened, gold eyes locking suddenly onto his brother's. "The..." He swallowed, the effort of trying to remember carved into his face. "Father used us, but it...didn't work? Is - is that what happened? Did we win?"

Ed clasped Al's face between his hands, squeezing his eyes shut to hold back the tears that threatened to fall as he pressed their foreheads together. "The backlash," he whispered. "I...it was my fault."

"Huh?" The timbre of Al's voice changed slightly, but Ed didn't notice.

"I tried to break it - tried to stop him from u-using us as sacrifices." Each word was another iron weight lifted from his shoulders, a confession he'd whispered over and over again but useless, needless, with no ears to hear it. "And - everything went _wrong, _Al, the entire thing backlashed and now I'm all alone and -"

"So that's what killed him, hm?"

Ed's eyes snapped open, and he threw himself backwards as he realized that the face he'd been holding so tenderly was changing again. _Stupid, stupid..._he reprimanded himself, trying to push away the sentimentality that had gripped his heart.

Except it wasn't leaving without a fight - because now Hohenheim was staring at him with the same strangely vacant eyes.

He cocked his head. "A backlash. I see." Then he frowned. "Except it's coming back."

"What? What's coming back?"

Hohenheim smiled dreamily, and then spoke with a different voice. "Every reaction has an equal and opposite reaction. Equivalent Exchange."

Ed swallowed the lump in his throat at the familiar words in his teacher's voice. He supposed the sacrifices probably had the strongest presence, but it was still heartwrenching to realize that Izumi - take-no-prisoners, loudmouthed, wise Sensei - was now just one soul in a multitude.

Then the words themselves processed.

"Wait, _what?" _he nearly screamed. "It's coming _back?" _Already his mind was putting the pieces together - the white-hot flash of destructive alchemy that had burst from the epicenter, radiating outwards in waves...stopping at the circle that marked the boundaries of Amestris...and like ripples bouncing off the edge of a basin of water, reverberating back towards Central.

There was - had been - nobody to be hurt by the reverbs and aftereffects. Nobody, that was, except for the one who had triggered the reaction to begin with and the being who held all of Amestris within his bursting seams.

Ed, until the homunculus's arrival, hadn't cared whether he lived or died. He was a nation of one, a flagship without a fleet, half of a whole with no reason and nothing to strive for.

Yet here was a survivor. Here was a companion. Here, although in any other circumstance Ed never would have considered it, was somebody to protect.

"Envy. Envy!" Ed grasped 'Hohenheim's' chin, pulling him down and forcing him to make eye contact. "Envy, I need you to tell me...when's it gonna get here? The echo?"

The blank look in Hohenheim's eyes faded, gold drawing away like mist to reveal sharp shards of amethyst. "Why do you think I came to find you, asshole? You're almost out of time."

Even as the words left Envy's mouth, Ed became aware of of a resonance in the ground, somewhere between vibration and sound. "That's it...?" he whispered, his grip on Envy's chin faltering. "I...what do I do?"

"How the hell should I know?" retorted Envy roughly. On the last word his voice shifted tone, but he wrested back control, panic flickering nakedly over his face.

The resonance changed slightly - it was like static, white noise hanging in the air and driving Ed to distraction. Louder and louder and stronger...

"Tell me _something!" _Ed cried out, trying in vain to hide his desperation, and there was an almost audible 'snap' as Envy grabbed the front of the alchemist's shirt, pulling his face closer.

"Okay," he growled. "Get. Them. OUT."

A stone of fifty million souls against an echo of the reaction that had created it to begin with...The stone would just win out, reckoned the analytical part of Ed's mind, cold and unfeeling.

The part of him that was starved for simple company asked why he couldn't just bring them all back.

He clenched his metal fist to stabilize himself, but a question remained - "Why are they so...Why do they keep taking you over? They shouldn't be..." _(cold, unfeeling, analytical) _"Before, the Xerxian souls...they didn't have _minds._" Ed paused, temporarily seized with a horrid thought that by saying it he would make it true, then barrelled on. "What's different?"

"What's different is that you interrupted it, idiot -" Envy shuddered, a pained look crossing his face, and then with a shower of red sparks, another face glanced up at Ed - the prince, the prince who'd sold his soul, eyes open but dark instead of wine-red. Of course. Homunculi didn't have distinct souls. Greed was gone.

"It's like with me," explained Ling in a rather inappropriately lackadaisical tone. "I fought my way to the top and didn't get swallowed. Except you interrupted the process. Father couldn't handle it - so the chain reaction continued down all of his children, until the only one with the...let's say, elasticity to swallow them all without killing off their minds took them -"

Envy regained control, although he kept Ling's face, only his expression changing as he gripped Ed's neck. "The point is _hurry the fuck up _or we're both going to die!"

Ed could feel the tension hanging in the air, and it wasn't coming just from them. But it was odd. He didn't feel in danger, even with an unstable, unbalanced person squeezing his neck.

He was just so thankful not to be alone.

He placed his flesh hand over Envy's, and felt the created tendons relax under his. He pulled it gently away, guiding it to his cheek. Envy started at that, even as he slowly fell into his preferred form, green locks falling down by his gaunt cheeks again and Ling's face once again nothing but a memory.

"I know," whispered Ed. "But if I do -" He stopped himself, realizing that with Envy's state of mind, telling him he was going to die no matter what...

He couldn't do it.

"...Okay," he said, still in a hollow whisper. _Maybe I can...can just save one -_

"Pipsqueak..." urged Envy warningly, eyes flickering back and forth. The building in the air wasn't quite an earthquake - it was more like the calm before the storm, with a terrible energy flickering to an inevitable resolution.

_Maybe I can just save one. And I won't be alone. God help me, I won't be alone anymore._

Ed clapped his hands together, willing up a spark of alchemy, and the noise, metal against flesh, thundered like a silent crash in the emptiness. Envy made no sound, watching Ed's hands with a curious, hungry look, and with a rising sense of guilt (that he shouldn't be feeling; Envy was just a monster with a thousand faces, who had killed Hughes) the young alchemist pressed them against the homunculus's chest.

Ed's eyes slid closed as he focused on the array taking shape in his mind - a simple one, just a release of power.

_What a waste, _chuckled a voice.

His eyes almost sprung back open, but he tried to keep his concentration. The voice was irritatingly familiar, though. It would have been years since he'd heard it.

_All that energy - all of _us _and you just want to release it?_

_I'm trying to set you free, _spat Ed in return. He was just going crazy, except -

_Brother's right, Edward. You could do more..._

It was the Stone. The Stone, trickling into him, and these voices - they were two boys he'd met who'd stolen his name, tried to use it for experiments, but in the end, they hadn't been so bad -

"Xenotime," he gritted out.

Russell and Fletcher Tringham chuckled, and somewhere behind his eyes he could see their faces - memory or magic? He didn't know. He'd never used a Stone before.

The promise he'd made to Al suddenly came back to him, heavy and foreboding, and he almost pulled away, but only the fear of backlash, ingrained deeper now than even the fear of the Gate, stopped him. The rush of power was starting to build inside his chest, swelling and pulsing like a second heart.

_There's so little of us... _whispered Fletcher, and another voice, startling Ed's eyes open, finished the sentence.

_Make things grow, Big Brother._

"Elysia," he murmured, and he suddenly realized his cheeks were wet. _Make things grow. Make things grow. Make things...grow..._

The earth shook, and he looked up at Envy. "I'm -" he started to sigh, and then realized that the homunculus's frame was shaking with the attempt to suppress his cries of pain. "No - I -" He tried to pull his hands away, but Envy gripped them and held them in place.

"Get - them - out," hissed the green-haired homunculus, face glittering with red sparks where he was struggling to keep his own shape -

-and suddenly, suddenly everything was red, a storm of faces and hands and souls.

He was inside the Stone.

"N-no...this...this isn't right..."

Yet, inside the place that was red sky and sea wrapped into one, there was another place. It looked like another Stone, but that wasn't possible.

He could feel his feet on the ground and his hands on Envy's cold chest. Yet here he was.

Nothing was impossible.

Ed reached out and touched the Stone, and was suddenly assailed with a whole new crowd of voices. These ones didn't give voice to words or thoughts the way the Amestrian ones did, nothing but long screams. They were the Xerxians.

Somewhere in the screams, Ed heard something else. A confession. The deepest wish in Envy's heart. (Because this was his heart, wasn't it?)

And just like that, Ed couldn't kill him. Just like that, he knew what he had to do.

He just had to hope that it would work.

Throwing his arms around Envy, he held the homunculus tightly against him, ignoring the other boy's surprised gasp as he poured every bit of energy he had left into the transmutation, sending it not just through his hands but through his entire body.

The reverberation of the backlash that had killed every living being within Amestris's borders, save two, came thundering back to its centre like a wave of pure lightning.

And just in time to match it and meet it, a swell of energy rose from what had been Central headquarters. It roared with a thousand voices and smashed into it, cresting like a wave and then diving into the ground.

Every tree in Central began to bloom.

Grass broke through the asphalt and concrete, and the parks with their benches started to grow so green that it hurt the eyes, if there had been anybody left to see it. Moss spread across the rocks, thick and lush like a regal carpet.

Elysia's soul skipped and laughed among the flowers before passing on; with her came the legions of children whose lives had also been cut short.

And in the middle of it all, Edward finally slept, because for once, everything had gone right.

* * *

"What have you done?"

Ed blinked, opening his eyes slowly to see Envy struggling to his feet, looking around in shock. "Oh, hey," he said dreamily. "It worked."

A second later he was being shaken, teeth rattling in his head. "_Why am I alive?" _hissed Envy, purple eyes sharp and piercing. "Why am I -"

"Why not?" Ed fired back.

Envy ran his fingers over his body, eyes widening. "I'm - you -"

"You're human," finished Ed with a grin.

"Fuck you, runt! I'm going to get you for this! -"

"Why?"

Envy paused, glaring at Ed, and then stormed off in a huff. Ed watched mildly as he sat down with his back to a tree a fair distance away.

It was funny. He couldn't bring himself to be scared of Envy anymore.

Because they both needed somebody. That was the truth. And now they had a whole new world to explore; Amestris's soil and growth sent into overdrive with almost fifty million souls. Not trapped, no; not like Father had had them. Free.

Ed reached for the blood seal around his neck, and suddenly realized that it was blank. The blood that had marked it for so long was gone, wiped clean.

"I...I guess you're gone for good now," he murmured, grief threatening to close in on his heart again. But instead, he pressed his lips to the blank circle of metal, and broke the leather thong, digging a little hole in the ground and laying Al to rest.

Once Ed had finished digging his final grave, he strode over to where Envy was still bemusedly looking around.

It was time to stop surviving, and start living again.


	93. Tightrope

**Sorry for the delay! I've got the next two written, and then another one I need to write, then another pre-written...and then the last three O.O It's nearly over D:**

**93. Tightrope**

It was bright, early morning outside, but it felt like sunset underneath the sheer circus tent. The billowing pavilion was filled with a warm red glow, the grass underfoot dry and yellow, and Ed had to stop himself from yawning from the sleepy atmosphere and the smell of popcorn hanging in the air. He'd stayed up all night so he could sneak out of his master's house, but that - and the days of hard work - was starting to take its toll.

"H-hello?" he ventured, and almost expected an echo. There wasn't one, of course, it was a tent, but it was so big and empty it might as well have.

"Tent's off limits until performance, dipshit," came a voice that would have been lazily sarcastic if it hadn't been half shouted.

Ed leapt back, startled, and stepped on a discarded bucket, tumbling onto his rear. His new position, however, afforded him a perfect view of the speaker, who was sitting on the tightrope which spanned almost the length of the tent.

"Buh?"

"I _told _you," groaned the slight figure, hands braced on either side of him (well, him by Ed's guess; it was hard to tell from the voice, let alone from this far away) and legs kicking in the empty air, "no one's allowed in, unless you're a carnie, and you en't no carnie, honey."

Ed blinked, not quite sure how to answer. He settled on being stubborn. It always seemed to work on Izumi. "How'd you get up that high?"

The person - Ed was starting to think 'female' now - laughed, long hair crackling around her body like it was alive. "How dumb are you, pipsqueak? There's a ladder on both struts." She grinned, and Ed caught a glimpse of very shiny, if not altogether clean, teeth. "O'course, if you wanna believe I flew, you can think that too."

"Why would I think that?"

She raised her legs and twirled around, making Ed's heart skip a beat as she looked about to fall before she wrapped her legs over the rope again and flipped upside down, hair hanging down in a curtain of green. "Carnies are magic, pipsqueak. _Everyone _knows that."

"Oh. Well, I'm not everyone."

"Who are you, then?" She - he? Ed was becoming uncertain again - cocked his head, making him dizzy trying to follow the gesture. "Haven't seen you at our shows yet, and we've been here near a month now. I'd remember a cute little pipsqueak like you."

"Stop calling me that! I'm not a pipsqueak, I'm just a long way down!"

The carnie laughed, sending a prickle down Ed's spine. "Gimme another name to call you and I'll consider it."

"Will I get in trouble? You already said I'm not supposed to be in here -" Something hit his forehead, making him blink and look down at the half-popped kernel of popcorn on the ground. "Wuh -"

"Name, loser." The carnie crossed his arms, making his position all the more precarious, although he didn't seem to mind.

"Where did you...?" Ed abandoned that thought. "You have good aim." He paused. "I'm Ed. Edward Elric."

"Oh cool, E's. I love Es. I'm an E, too, you know. The only one in the whole circus." The strange figure flipped himself back upright, doing a somersault before planting his feet on the rope.

Ed took a few more steps into the tent, raising his head even more to look up at 'E'. "Um. Cool. So you're one of the...performers?"

"Every idiot should know that! I'm only _the _main attraction! You really haven't come to see us, have you?"

Ed shrugged. "Haven't had the, uh, time."

"Well, make it."

"Circuses aren't really my thing."

There was a sound akin to a horrified gasp, and the carnie wavered on the rope, clasping his hands to his chest before he lost his balance and fell off the tightrope.

"Sh-SHIT!" Ed ran forward, only to grind to a halt and almost fall over again as E's descent halted about four feet from the ground.

"Hehe. You thought I actually fell."

Ed glared at the grinning joker, and then at the rope he was holding onto, hands and feet entwined into it. "That seems pretty precarious."

"Pre-ka-what?"

"You're going to fall on your head and break something."

He laughed. "Gimme some _credit!_ I been working the ropes for a long time, pipsqueak."

"I told you my damn name, why don't you use it?" Beat. "How long?"

"Eight years."

Ed twisted his body around until he could see E's face right side up. "You don't look that old, though."

"I started young. We all do."

He raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, but wouldn't you have been, like, eight?"

The green-haired enigma frowned at that. "No. Ten."

Ed straightened up, suddenly dizzy from the rush of blood to his head. "...Ten? You joined the circus when you were ten?"

"Yep!" E flipped upwards, grabbing the rope so that he was standing upright again, feet coiled in the rope. Ed was distracted momentarily wondering how he wasn't breaking his feet that way, and then focused back on the acrobat.

"Ten years old."

"Mhm."

"...So you ran away from home?"

The difference was disconcerting. The cheerful, sly look on the acrobat's face disappeared in the blink of an eye, replaced with a snarl, purple eyes gleaming darkly. Even as Ed realized belatedly that perhaps it hadn't been his place to say that, E lashed out, leg swinging around to catch Ed in the chest and send him flying backwards.

E swung backwards on the rope, the tip of his toes touching the ground as he recovered from the kick. "_Fuck off," _he hissed.

"Wh-wha - I - s-sorry?"

"It's none of your goddamn business, pipsqueak!"

Ed was too shocked even to try get to his feet, staring nonplussedly at the performer who had been until a minute ago chirpy and friendly. His voice had changed too, raspier and rougher compared to the smooth one he'd put on before.

However, Ed being Ed, he couldn't leave well enough alone. "What happened? What did you run away from?"

"I didn't run away," he growled. "That's what cowards do. Besides, everyone leaves home eventually -" He shrugged, faking a little of the previous lightheartness. "I like my life."

"You're awfully skinny for someone who likes their life."

"What part of 'none of your business' are you not getting?"

"I bet I could count your ribs from here," continued Ed as if E hadn't spoken at all. "I've seen how many people pour into this tent, and you can't eat enough? Or do you just have to keep yourself light enough to walk the wires?"

E started to pull himself up the rope again, away from Ed. "How about you piss off right now?"

"How about you listen to me? You don't _have _to live like this."

"Live like what? The way I want to?"

"You knew what you wanted at ten?"

"_Shut up!"_

Ed sat up, and then slowly rose to his feet, offering his hand. "I'm serious. Try putting your feet on the ground."

For a moment, the pale boy looked like he was considering it. Then his eyes narrowed again. "Go to hell."

Ed let out a deep sigh, knowing when he'd lost. "Have it your way," he murmured, turning his back and walking away. Izumi was bound to notice he'd snuck out now, and he'd get another lecture about how 'if you want to find this thing, you work at it, damn you'. He had other things to do.

Still, he wondered.

* * *

The next day, still smarting all over from Izumi's 'lecture', he went into town for groceries - and couldn't help but notice the circus tent descending.

"Huh?" _I thought they were in town for another day or two... _Curiosity overtaking responsibility, he headed over to where the carnies were packing up their caravans. "Hey, you're leaving already?"

One of them turned around, peering over dark sunglasses. "What else did you expect, y'little josser?"

Ed blinked. "What do you mean?"

A woman looked up from tying a knot around a horse's middle, and leaned over to murmur in the man's ear, "I think that's him."

"Ah? Really now?" The man, easily twice Ed's size, put down the rope he was coiling nonchalantly before swivelling around and driving his fist into his stomach, making him drop the bag of groceries. "That's for messin' with us," he hissed, before grabbing him by his hair and throwing him to the ground.

"Wait, what did I do? - Is this -" Ed struggled to his knees, only to be kicked down in the dirt again by the woman who had spoken earlier, her eyes red as blood and carmine lips thin and pursed. "Is this about yesterday? Because I didn't mean to make trouble - I just - he was -"

Another fist slammed into his jaw - this time from a boy who couldn't be more than fourteen, matted black hair held back by a ragged brown cap. "His name was _Envy!"_

Before Ed could recover enough to stutter out another confused question, they were on him again, kicking and punching until he could taste blood in his mouth.

"Hey! Get off of him!" Another voice pierced through the noise, and Ed thought groggily he recognized it. A moment later, the carnies backed away as a slim figure wrestled through them.

"Leave it alone, sweetie," growled the man in sunglasses, adjusting them on his nose. "Carnie business."

"I don't care whose business it i, leave him be!" The blonde glared at them angrily. "You're packing up. So leave."

They gave both her and Ed wary looks, but soon dissipated. Ed got to his feet. "W-Winry?"

"Ed, what did you do to get them on you? You know how circus folk are." She knelt by him, running a hand over his forehead before trying to help him up. He batted her away.

"I - no, Win, I think I might have deserved that...I..." He fell silent for a moment. "I dunno. I think I might have accidentally convinced one of them to leave."

"Huh?"

"I was talking to one of them yesterday morning... Tried to convince him to leave the circus." Ed shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't realize it would be such a big...deal..." Even as the words left his mouth he could see her face go pale. Something nagged at him.

_His name was Envy._

Winry clapped a hand to her mouth, looking about ready to throw up, and then recovered herself, although she still looked on the verge of tears. "W-was it the one with...with green hair?"

"Yeah, the long green hair and the black outfit... Why?" A surge of panic rose in his chest. "What - what happened?"

So Winry told him. She told him about how people had thought it was just a grisly decoration, some appeal to the macabre as they were pushing and sliding into their seats. She told him about how the light had played off of it just enough to make it look fake, a black silhouette in the red shade.

She told him about how someone had screamed, one of the performers as she'd come out into the ring, and that was when they realized the figure hanging by its neck in the middle of the tent was _real, _green hair lank and its face blue.

She told him about how the show had been cancelled, how they'd all left even without demanding their money back... She told him about the sobs she'd heard, even if the carnies had looked stoic as anything every time she'd seen them.

All Ed could think about was how perfectly balanced Envy had been on the tightrope, skipping around as naturally as breathing.

He hadn't thought for a moment someone like that could lose their balance.


	94. Sketches

**So I was like 'oh yeah double update tomorrow' to one person and then promptly forgot . Sorry... I love you all! 3**

**Guest: Honestly it's more about the perception of his gender than anything else, but I did consider making Envy female again just because it worked so well. I figured there was no real reason to though, relative androgyny functioned well enough. (I'm assuming this is Violetlight because of this - sorry if that's unfair or if I'm wrong, but it's kind of a trademark of yours XD)**

** The story behind the idea for the circus AU is actually a fun one. I started writing a story years ago about a schizophrenic acrobat in the 1920s, which turned into a musical. (It was...weird.) And when I put down the 'Tightrope' prompt I was thinking about balance, but then I remembered about that story. A lot of elements from that story/musical got incorporated into this, including the suicide (attempted suicide in the original) in front of an audience.**

** Fun thing about AUs, I don't have to think about things like that - but yeah, 2003 more so anyway. Think about those breakdance moves! And if you look closely you'll see that 2003-Wrath shows up too ^.^ Thanks for reviewing!**

**94. Sketches**

Al knew he'd never known everything about his brother. It was impossible to know everything about a person, that was just a fact. So when he found the folder, he was fully prepared to be surprised.

He'd never known Ed could actually draw.

Sure, he'd seen him do a few silly cartoons every now and again, like his representations from Lab 5. And it _shouldn't _have been a surprise. Even if Ed hadn't had to draw transmutation circles, they'd had precision drilled into them for so long that it would be hard to forget it.

But...these were so much more than precision.

With a sinking in his stomach as he flipped through, Al recognized the subject.

Sketches of long, slightly matted hair, tangling into distinct threads across bare shoulders and stomach - sketches of long, slender, untouched hands gliding along naked skin and thighs - sketches of a rumpled skirt, too-short top pushed up even higher, headband askew -

He'd never known Ed could pay so much attention to a human, or almost-human, body, especially a male one.

Sketches of a face halfway through distorting itself, on one side a twisted, Puckish, beastly boy, the other a beautiful girl with soft, brown hair and doe-velvet eyes.

He'd never known Ed could love somebody who'd caused so much hurt, done so much wrong -

He _still _didn't know whether he was looking at dream or memory, curiosity sated or growing, still-life or imagination -

Al closed the folder with a sigh.

There were many things he would never know about his brother. And far be it from him to pry through a dead man's fantasies.


	95. Vain

**95. Vain**

It's hard to be vain when you're looking at somebody else in the mirror.

It's hard to be vain when you can trace your scars with your eyes from twenty paces away.

It's hard to be vain when your true nature leaks out of your every pore, poisoning the eyes of even those who might have, if you had a soul, found you beautiful.

It's hard to be vain when the only woman you ever loved is long gone, past the Gate, and when you tried to drag her back she spat in your face.

It's hard to be vain when you can see the blood staining into your skin.

It's hard to be vain when you can feel them stare at your missing parts, at your replacements, instead of anything that makes you, you.

It's hard to be vain when you were made to be someone you're not, and in the end you weren't even good enough for that.

It's hard to be vain when you know, you _know _that you don't deserve it.

But in the end, you manage it anyway. You find somebody else...someone else with the same pain, someone else to be vain for you.

It's not perfect.

But it's good enough.

Just like everything else.


	96. Desperation

**96. Desperation**

When they fought, it was hell. Envy wasn't about to say he liked it. Yes, he got to be close to him, but the pain, god, he almost couldn't handle it. Ed driving his automail fist into his stomach, or kicking his legs out from under him - oh yes, he could fight back, he did fight back, but it didn't change the fact that it was Ed beating him and bruising him.

Oh, but he needed it. Not the fighting. That he could do without. But even the smallest of interactions - a jibe, a jeer, a protest - it meant he got to hear his voice.

If only Ed seemed to realize...if only he could return something, a smile, even a little glow in his eyes, and Envy thought he saw it sometimes but then it would fade again and Ed would just be angry.

Envy knew he was a damned fool. He didn't want any of that, the romance he saw on the city streets in February or the rest of the year, humans holding hands and looking so damned happy, he didn't want it. He just wanted...he wanted...well that was the trouble, really, his name was Envy but nobody had ever told him exactly what or who he was supposed to be envying. Probably the mechanic, or the tin can, the ones who got to hold Ed's attention for more than a few minutes at a time.

Envy wanted to be looked at. By Ed. He wanted Ed to look at him and listen and smile and know that the alchemist didn't want him to leave. (But he'd never say it, of course, that wasn't a very homunculus kind of thought.) Envy wanted Ed to ask him, just once, 'don't go'. He never got it, obviously, the thought never even crossed the stupid blond's mind, why would it?

All the same, knowing it was wrong, knowing it was hurting him and breaking him and cutting him in ways that blade on Ed's arm could never do, he kept taunting him. Kept showing up where he knew Ed would see him. Kept making any excuse to cross his path. Anything, anything, anything. Please. See me. Look at me. See me. Can't you see? And fight after fight, Envy would feel something drop out of his stomach and pretend he didn't wonder what it was like to cry.

Envy wanted Ed. More desperately than that, though, he wanted to be wanted.


	97. Blister

**Double update today becauuuse...I can't count . But I already had this written so that's good at least ^.^**

**97. Blister**

He had her picked out from the moment he saw her.

She was a tiny little thing, brown-skinned and red-eyed like the rest of them but with something else as well.

Envy's hand twitched towards his gun, but he stopped himself. He was still wearing the wrong disguise.

She was beautiful.

The way she clutched at her teddy-bear, winced under the blows from the other children - it was all beautiful. So small. So delicate.

Envy's disguise scowled, and so did Envy, hidden behind layers of skin and curled around his Stone.

She was so beautiful that it burnt and blistered, scarred even the supposedly guarded tender flesh of his true self.

So when he took the chosen form, lifted the gun towards her, he cherished that last moment, took its flames into himself, let them blister until he couldn't feel anything else. (Homunculi weren't supposed to feel anyway.)

He fired, and grinned as her beauty disappeared in blood and flesh and matter.

He wouldn't hurt again.

Oh, but gold had a way of seeping in, of making all his scars hurt again. Night and day, they were, the little Ishbalan girl and the little Amestrian boy, but their beauty still made him scream in pain, wracked by his sin so completely that there was no room for anything else.

He was covered in blisters, parts where his true form rubbed too close and made him itch and wince. Times when he felt like the creature he was.

And it was all too often.

So he'd get Edward at his mercy, just like he had with so many others.

He wouldn't hurt again.


	98. Fairy Tales

**In which it started as a fairy tale and turned into something else, kind of. Two more to go, guys! AHHHHHHHH!**

**98. Fairy Tales**

Once upon a time there was a mad king who ruled the land with an iron fist, and the mad king had seven children, each of them as unlike him as the moon from the sun. The youngest of them all was his least favourite, for he was his very opposite - dark where he was bright, and pale where he was golden.

It came to pass that the mad tyrant fell ill, and in his arrogance, he refused to let any of his children inherit his throne until they brought him something greater than even his kingdom.

The elder six went at once to the corners of the realm, but the youngest merely went out to the woods and sat down on the dirt, overwhelmed and miserable. He had no idea how to compete with his stronger, more favoured siblings, or even where to start. After some time, he began to cry.

"Oy. You. Why are you crying?"

He froze, sniffled one last time, and then looked up. Darkness had fallen, and in front of him, holding a lantern, was a strange, small boy with golden hair and eyes that glinted and glowed in the lamplight.

"It's none of your business," hissed back the young prince, pulling his knees to his chest, but the boy dropped down into a squat to stare at him. After a moment, he pulled out a loaf of bread and offered it to the prince.

"You hungry?"

The prince shook his head dumbly, and with a snort of derision, the golden boy walked away.

After some time, when the golden boy was far enough away that he could only be seen by the light of his lamp, the prince leapt to his feet and started to follow him, moving through the black branches as the light guided him farther and farther into the heart of the woods. There, he concealed himself behind a tree and watched as the golden boy walked up to a little hut, almost completely hidden in the undergrowth. The door opened, and a little roebuck buried its nose into the golden boy's hand, before they both disappeared into the cottage.

The prince watched this all shrewdly, and when both boy and roebuck had gone, made his way back to the palace, marking the way in his mind. When the sun rose the next day, he returned and watched as the golden boy let the roebuck out to run the woods, and stayed there until the roebuck returned at dusk.

He did this again the next day, but on the evening of the third day, the roebuck veered towards him, finding his hiding place and staring at him with dark, oddly human eyes. The golden boy followed, and then looked down at the prince in surprise.

"You again? Are you stalking us?"

The prince shook his head and sneered, "Full of yourself, aren't you? I'm not stalking you."

"I saw you three days ago. Now you show up here?"

"For your information, this is my country. I can go where I like."

The golden boy raised his eyebrows and then laughed. "Are you telling me you're a prince? Buuuuullshit. Why, you're all raggedy looking, and - what kind of prince has long hair and dresses like you?"

The prince got to his feet and drew himself up arrogantly. "You don't believe me?"

"No!"

"What do you mean, you don't believe me? I'm Prince William, the seventh child of the King!"

The golden boy snorted. "Fine, fine, say you're a prince. What are you doing out here?" He laid a hand protectively on the roebuck's back, as the animal quivered, ready to run at a moment's notice. "You better leave us alone."

"I'm looking for something I can give my father that is greater than even his kingdom. You can tell me something, can't you?"

The golden boy frowned. "You have to do something for me first. Then I'll tell you where to find something more valuable than the very kingdom."

The prince restrained his temper. "What do you want me to do?"

"On the other side of the forest, there is a castle surrounded by walls miles high. If you knock at the door and say, 'I am here for the truth', it will open for you. Inside lives a blind man. He was once a great king, surpassing even your father, before he saw the truth of the world. Ask him for your treasure and he will give it to you, for a price."

The prince nodded. "But what do you want?"

The golden boy hesitated, and then glared up at him. "I'm coming with you." He stroked the roebuck nervously, and then kissed its head.

So the two, the prince and the boy from the forest, journeyed through the woods deep and dark, and as they travelled, it became more and more obvious that they had little, if nothing, in common. Their bickering turned into squabbles; their squabbles turned into arguments; their arguments turned into fights, and the boy with the golden hair disappeared into the forest again.

The prince decided, rather stubbornly, that he was better off without the brat, and continued on. However, he soon discovered he was quite lost, and starting to panic, he broke into a run through the forest before leaning against a tree and trying to catch his breath.

"Heehee. You're running veryvery fast. Are you in a hurry?"

The prince turned around and around, searching for the voice, and then looked down at his feet. A mouse with fur as black as night was staring up at him.

"No, I'm lost."

"You're silly! How can you be lost?"

"I don't know where I'm going."

"Being lost and not knowing where you're going are very different things!" The mouse cocked her head. "What are you looking for?"

"...Something. Something valuable."

"That's not very specific. You're just going to go around in circles with those kinds of directions."

The prince scowled. "I..." He thought about what the golden boy had said to him. "I-I guess I'm looking for the truth."

The mouse was quiet for a moment, and then skittered off, only pausing to say, "Come on! Follow me!"

He followed the mouse as best he could, and after some time, they came to the castle the golden boy had spoken of. It was so tall that the prince couldn't see the top of it, and so wide he couldn't see where it ended, and built of stones larger than he was.

"This was a castle of giants," said the mouse, "but they are all gone now. I can only come with you this far; the rest of this journey is yours alone."

The prince bit back his response, that the golden boy should have been with him, and knocked on the great door in front of him.

"Who are you?" asked a great voice that resounded like thunder and almost knocked the prince flat.

"I am Prince William, the son of the King."

"Son of the Mad King!" roared the voice. "Why should I give you entrance?"

The prince mustered all his courage and shouted back, "I am here for the truth!"

There was silence, and then a dark chuckle. "Then you shall have it." The door swung open, and the prince walked into the castle on unsteady feet.

On a simple wooden chair in the middle of a vast room sat a man of middle years, dressed all in blue and with grey, empty eyes that stared up and away into nothing. "Son of the Mad King," he said again, although his voice had none of its roar now. "You want the truth - you will have to pay for it."

"With what?"

"Equivalent exchange. An eye for an eye, a life for a life - something of equivalent value." The blind man reached out his hand. "Ask your question. You get three. Choose wisely."

The prince didn't take long to reply. "I want something - some power, some gift, some talisman - that will let me inherit the kingdom over my brothers and sisters."

The blind man chuckled. "Vague. Just outside the door grows a plant as red as blood. Eat that plant, and you will be able to take any form you choose. Beware, though, that you do not go too long without returning to your own, or you may forget it."

"I won't forget my own body," scoffed the prince. "So what's the price?"

The blind man suddenly smirked. "Your name, little princeling. I want your name."

Before the prince had a chance to protest, it came ripping out of his throat, and all the parts of his mind and memory that had contained his name were suddenly empty. Welling in its place came a dark, brooding envy for those who had a name to call their own, because he knew he had had one once, and he adopted the feeling as his own, and called himself Envy.

The blind man, the keeper of the Truth, shrugged dispassionately. "You have two questions left. Or are you too busy with your existential crisis?"

Envy looked up hatefully at the keeper of the Truth, but in the midst of the storm of self-hate and confusion, he suddenly remembered how a boy with golden hair and eyes had come up to him when he was crying. He remembered how the golden boy had offered him bread, shown him the way and only asked that he be allowed to come with him in return.

"Who is the roebuck?" asked Envy who had once been the prince in a moment of realization.

The blind man answered in surprise, "He is the brother of the young man who was with you, transformed by a witch's curse."

For that, Envy paid with a memory of his mother. It hurt to part with it, but he had one question left.

"How can I turn him back?"

The blind man sighed. "It is already done. But what have you left to pay with? You have given me your one memory of love, and you have given me your name. What else of value do you have?"

Envy was silent.

"Here is your price. The boy's brother has been returned to his form. But in return, you cannot see either of them for seven years, neither can you return to your kingdom. You must wander for those seven years, but after those years, you may return to him."

The bottom of Envy's stomach dropped out, but he nodded slowly.

"That's all." The blind man dismissed him with a wave of his hand. Envy left through the great doors, stopping to pick one of the plants red as blood. He ate it, and instantly felt the gift take hold. He took first the shape of the blind man, then the shape of the golden boy, and then returned to his own before venturing back into the woods.

For seven years, Envy wandered the world, taking the shapes of people he met and slowly but surely distancing himself from his own, unable even to put a proper name to his old form to attach himself to it. After some time, he forgot it completely, and became a nomad in every sense, shifting forms ceaselessly in a desperate bid to find his identity.

After the seven years had passed, however, he suddenly found himself in a place that seemed very familiar. He squinted, and realized that there was a hut hidden in the undergrowth, and as he watched, the door opened and both his golden boy and a boy with hair and eyes the colour of the roebuck emerged.

The golden boy looked up, and frowned. Envy turned to slink away; he hadn't worn his true form in years now. The boy he'd come to see, whether he'd realized it or not, wouldn't recognize him.

Then the golden boy came towards him, eyes lighting up. "It's you, isn't it?"

Envy flinched despite himself. "What are you talking about?"

"The prince. I...You restored Al. How did you...I..." The golden boy took Envy's hand in his own, and then spoke his name, the name he hadn't heard and didn't remember.

Slowly, Envy transformed back into the shape he thought he'd forgotten. Then, he leant his head forward onto the golden boy's shoulder and cried. Once the tears were done, though, the golden boy led him into the hut where the boy who had been a roebuck was waiting, and there they lived happily ever after.

What of the kingdom, you might ask, and the prince's six brothers and sisters? Well, they travelled far and wide, and when they returned, neither they nor the mad king could decide which of their gifts was the greatest or most powerful. Their squabbles turned violent, and soon they all lay slain. After much arguing among the nobles, the throne was won by the son of a woman of ill repute - but that's a story for another time.


	99. Beginnings

**(yes I know, I'm insane, I couldn't sleep)**

**Because Envy + baby is just too fun.**

**Also, new poll is up! It's about the possible expansion/continuation of some of the stories from this collection - go vote! I love you all 3**

**This and the next story are dedicated to Caveman. He knows why :D For everyone else: He is why this collection is getting finished quite so quickly, so you can thank him ^.^**

**99. Beginnings**

It starts - well, it's impossible to say when anything really starts. One could start any story as far back as the creation of the earth, or of Amestris. One could even start the story four hundred years ago, when an alchemist first played with the forces of nature out of love and grief.

But at the end of the day, the story of Edward Elric begins in a cradle in a little house in a small town called Resembool. His mother is sleeping in the bed only a few meters away, his father on the floor next to her with his hand tangled in hers and holding on tight. It's the first time in days either of them have gotten any sleep, and they have taken their chance as quickly as they can, while their child is sleeping.

And then there is a creak of the floorboards, and a squeak of the hinges. The baby stirs a little bit, but doesn't yet wake up - not until the footsteps on the uneven wooden planks come up, up, up all the way to his cradle. Eyes twinkle in the darkness, dark and jealous and hateful.

"So. You're my replacement."

With a soft burble, Ed's eyes open, and he stares up at the new person who has appeared in his tiny world. He reaches up and bats at some of the thick strands of hair falling down into his grasp, tugging on them before the stranger yanks them out of his chubby hands.

"Don't touch me," he growls. "What's so special about you?" He reaches down and pokes the newborn's cheek. "You sure don't look like anything out of the ordinary."

Ed doesn't understand any of it, of course. It's the beginning for him, a new beginning in a world Envy's already spent too long in. For a moment, Envy's jealous not of the baby's blood - not of his home or the life he has ahead of him - but simply of the fact that he has a life ahead of him. Envy is a dead man walking; life makes him sick to his stomach.

He looks up and his pupils suddenly turn into slits as he finally registers who else is sleeping in the room. In complete silence but with a viciousness that expresses a roar of rage nonetheless, he pounces across the room and stands with his legs on either side of Hohenheim's sleeping form, his arm a wickedly sharp blade at his father's throat. And yet, he does nothing.

After a few heavy breaths, Envy walks away from Hohenheim, past the crib, but stops and squats down, staring through the bars and at Edward. "...There's no point, you know. You're not special. Give it a few years and he'll be gone." Envy takes a moment, pretends he doesn't feel his sin choking him with the wish to have his father back, even if it's centuries too late. "...All the same...I wish you the best of luck." He shrugs, and grins brokenly before he leaves just as soundlessly and shadowlike as before.

It's the same way it always is. The world keeps turning, stories begin and begin and keep going and never really end. There's new beginnings everywhere one turns, everywhere one turns, for everybody -

-and perhaps, in a little house in a small town, a new beginning for Envy, too - if he was ever to realize it.


	100. Endings

**AN at the bottom - please read! but read the story first ^.^**

**100. Endings**

Ed had imagined a thousand different endings to the insanity he'd enveloped himself in. Not the business with Father - no, this was a different type, a whole different level of insanity, an insanity that had taken him from hotel rooms to forest clearings to empty shacks and rundown buildings and empty traincars and anywhere he...they...could sneak a moment.

He'd imagined a thousand different endings because it was inevitable. It would end. It was ephemeral, useless to hold onto. Winry, now she was solid, she was a future, she was - well, she was who everybody expected. Envy was the enemy. Envy wasn't even human.

Ed dead by his lover's hand. (He'd tried to shy away from the thought; but he'd seen Envy's anger; and it had come close before). Envy dead by his own. (If he had to. If it came down to it. He swore he'd be able to. In his heart though, he wasn't sure.) Roy, or Riza, or Armstrong, or one of the myriad other people who never, ever knew, brutalizing Envy, pulling him apart, and Ed too paralyzed by his own fear of exposure to lift a finger.

One by one they flashed before his eyes, and he knew whatever it was, even if he'd thought of it before, he wouldn't be ready for it. No matter how long you prepare for the end, you're never ready for it when it comes.

But when Envy held out his hand and smirked in his usual way, Ed wasn't sure how to react. When Envy shrugged, said he could go live with Winry and have his 2.5 kids if he wanted, Ed didn't turn away and back up the hill like he should have. Instead, he took Envy's hand and let himself be pulled onto the train just as it started to pull away.

He wouldn't be so naive as to think that it would never end...but not yet. Not yet.

* * *

**I would like to thank everybody who's reviewed, favourited and followed this collection, and made it such a success. I never expected it to get so popular - hell, I never expected to finish it! But here we are at number 100, nine months later (ohey, it's a baby :D) and I can safely say I've learned a lot.**

**Not to say that I'm done with the material. Hell no. There is a poll on my profile page and if you've enjoyed what I've done here, I strongly urge to go vote for which of these stories I should continue! (...First...XD)**

**Finally, I'd like to put a special dedication to a few people:**

**Fairyboydammit **  
**Cavemantoao**  
**Pen-Name-Kitsune-chan**  
**Shade40**  
**Asuka Tanku**  
**straykit**  
**Brown Eyed Girl 42**  
**what-is-the-color-of-love**  
**Violetlight**  
**Call Me Tom**

**Thank you so much ^_^**

**Onwards!**


End file.
